[Misc] Your Best Ever Misunderstandings.....

[FamilyGuy]

An online groceries fck up springs to mind, I/we didn’t realise that each banana ordered at ASDA really meant a large bunch. So after ordering 20 banana, crates of the stuff arrived at the front door.

Been there, done that!

 

[marlowe]

Years ago I had to phone a young lad at home who worked for us. The person who answered "Hello" when they picked up the phone sounded vaguely like him, but I wasn't sure, so I asked, "Is that Carl?"
The person responded, " No, he's dead".

This came as something of a shock to me and was totally unexpected as Carl was only 16, so had been cut off in his prime at such a tragically young age.

After gathering myself from my initial shock I expressed my condolences and ventured to ask, "How did it happen, was it some kind of accident?"... to which the person on the end of the line responded, "No, I'm his dad, I'll just get him for you"

 

[Swimboy64]

Got pulled up by a police car doing 80 on a dual carriageway. When the young (aren't they all these days) policeman came over I tried to plead my case that it was a completely straight, traffic free road with great visibility. "But what if Mr Fog" came down he said to me.

I thought he was coming round to my way of thinking, so I answered with a smile, "then I would gently press Mrs Brake pedal, and go down Miss Gears".

"No, you misunderstood" he said "what if mist or fog came down".

I just told him to just write me the ticket

That has tickled me and Mrs Swim almost as good as todays result

 

[happypig]

An online groceries fck up springs to mind, I/we didn’t realise that each banana ordered at ASDA really meant a large bunch. So after ordering 20 banana, crates of the stuff arrived at the front door.

A colleague went to the stores, which had just been computerised, to get a roll of cable. Storeman asks him what size and he says "41 wire".
Next day he goes to collect his cable and is told "It's on that pallet".
41 Rolls of cable. Over four kilometers.

 

[Albion my Albion]

And she said it was the best night's sleep she'd had in years

Except for the cookie crumbs in her bed.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

I was requested to go to a meeting with a client at ten to twelve. I thought it was quite a specific time but he was a financial dealer and the meeting was at his house in North London so I assumed he would just be away from the office at that time. I got a phone call around 10.30am when I was on the train . I explained I was en route but he said the meeting was from ten until twelve.

 

[Official Old Man]

I was at the Peterborough game, maybe around 10 years ago. Anyway, they played their song and I said to my daughter why are they singing about Pizzas?

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Those of you that know your cricket will know the collective name for pads, gloves, helmet, thigh-pad, etc is "kit".

I was working on our female county EPP programme a few years ago and one of our younger L3 coaches was working with a 15 y/o 1-2-1 in the nets with a bowling machine.

After 15 mins or so, he beckoned the batter over and said: "Go and get your kit off and we'll have a chat." She went as red as beetroot, and so did he when he quickly realised what he had said and how she had misinterpretted it.

 

[Eeyore]

I was at the Peterborough game, maybe around 10 years ago. Anyway, they played their song and I said to my daughter why are they singing about Pizzas?

Pizza borough !

 

[BN9 BHA]

Just a few minutes ago I took a look at the rugby results and almost fell off my seat.

ITALY have beaten the All Blacks 20-10

I couldn't get it. Had the All Blacks fielded a second eleven, a team of under 12s, a supporters team ? Nope, they had a pretty decent team line up.

What I couldn't understand was why the BBC didn't have it as their main rugby headline. It's an historic result.

I then looked again. Italy haven't beaten the All Blacks... the match is at 20.10

I was going to post it on here. But I'm already a fool enough without that.

Has anyone ever made themselves look as dumb like this before ?

 

[Eeyore]

View attachment 192832

Arse indeed, but an onside one.

 

[Brovion]

Just a few minutes ago I took a look at the rugby results and almost fell off my seat.

ITALY have beaten the All Blacks 20-10

I couldn't get it. Had the All Blacks fielded a second eleven, a team of under 12s, a supporters team ? Nope, they had a pretty decent team line up.

What I couldn't understand was why the BBC didn't have it as their main rugby headline. It's an historic result.

I then looked again. Italy haven't beaten the All Blacks... the match is at 20.10

I was going to post it on here. But I'm already a fool enough without that.

Has anyone ever made themselves look as dumb like this before ?

Actually I made exactly the same mistake when we played Australia. I knew I wouldn't be able to watch it as it was on a channel I don't have, so I hadn't bothered checking when the kick-off was. Anyway I looked at the website and it said England had won 15:10. Great, I thought and tried to find the match report. Nothing. No analysis, reports, comments or anything. After a bit more searching I realised, yes, that was the kick off time.

 

[alanfp]

Channel hopping on a grey Saturday afternoon some years ago, came across football match on the TV. Live score banner at the top of the screen was showing Norway 2-1 Sweden
I didn't know there were any internationals on this weekend but hey. Then Mmmmm... they've obviously got a few players with English heritage, as the commentary continued "Higginbottom passes to Smith".

Turned out it was a Championship match NORwich v. S WEdnesday.

 

[Eeyore]

Channel hopping on a grey Saturday afternoon some years ago, came across football match on the TV. Live score banner at the top of the screen was showing Norway 2-1 Sweden
I didn't know there were any internationals on this weekend but hey. Then Mmmmm... they've obviously got a few players with English heritage, as the commentary continued "Higginbottom passes to Smith".

Turned out it was a Championship match NORwich v. S WEdnesday.

That one is just silly. I feel in good company.

Talking of screen abbreviations, my favourite was HARrogate v DONcaster. I think they changed it mid match.

 

[alanfp]

And long story short.

A week after the Boxing Day tsunami,
Wife: If your workplace is collecting clothes for those poor people who have lost everything, they can have those black bin bags of clothes in the loft that don't fit me any more.
Me: "Sure, good idea". Took them to work the next day to be forwarded to the collection depot.

Less than one week later, wife: "My cousin's going on a Caribbean cruise next week and would like to borrow some of my summer holiday clothes - could you get them out of the loft for me". Oops!

 

[Bodian]

Not quite a misunderstanding - more a not checking the times. We went to the New Years Day one-day match at the SCG back in 1991. After a heavy night's partying on the Opera House steps, we staggered out of bed after a short sleep - walked across town to get there in time. Only to find it was a day-night match and we were about four hours early. Slept on the pavement for a while.

 

[Swimboy64]

And long story short.

A week after the Boxing Day tsunami,
Wife: If your workplace is collecting clothes for those poor people who have lost everything, they can have those black bin bags of clothes in the loft that don't fit me any more.
Me: "Sure, good idea". Took them to work the next day to be forwarded to the collection depot.

Less than one week later, wife: "My cousin's going on a Caribbean cruise next week and would like to borrow some of my summer holiday clothes - could you get them out of the loft for me". Oops!

Sorry I’m a bit lost to see the misunderstanding in this one
Wife asks you to donate her old clothes which you do and then a week later says she needs them as her cousin wants to borrow them. What am I missing?

 

[Swimboy64]

Sorry I’m a bit lost to see the misunderstanding in this one
Wife asks you to donate her old clothes which you do and then a week later says she needs them as her cousin wants to borrow them. What am I missing?

And long story short.

A week after the Boxing Day tsunami,
Wife: If your workplace is collecting clothes for those poor people who have lost everything, they can have those black bin bags of clothes in the loft that don't fit me any more.
Me: "Sure, good idea". Took them to work the next day to be forwarded to the collection depot.

Less than one week later, wife: "My cousin's going on a Caribbean cruise next week and would like to borrow some of my summer holiday clothes - could you get them out of the loft for me". Oops!

Sorry forget my last post to you just worked it out

And long story short.

A week after the Boxing Day tsunami,
Wife: If your workplace is collecting clothes for those poor people who have lost everything, they can have those black bin bags of clothes in the loft that don't fit me any more.
Me: "Sure, good idea". Took them to work the next day to be forwarded to the collection depot.

Less than one week later, wife: "My cousin's going on a Caribbean cruise next week and would like to borrow some of my summer holiday clothes - could you get them out of the loft for me". Oops!

forget my last post I just worked it out
How where you to know she didn’t mean all of the bags

 

[jcdenton08]

Reminds me of the opposite error - ordering 1 kilo of loose Brussel sprouts in an online Sainsbury shop during covid. When my shopping arrived, a single and very lonely Brussel Sprout arrived with a label on it larger than the sprout all duly marked with weight and price.

I’d clicked on 1 Sprout instead of one kilo - the funny thing was though, that some checkout girl actually believed someone would order a single Brussel Sprout in a weeks worth of shopping and then went to all the trouble of labeling it.

What on earth could they have been thinking?

It’s aaaa… brussel sprout!

 

[phoenix]

Got pulled up by a police car doing 80 on a dual carriageway. When the young (aren't they all these days) policeman came over I tried to plead my case that it was a completely straight, traffic free road with great visibility. "But what if Mr Fog" came down he said to me.

I thought he was coming round to my way of thinking, so I answered with a smile, "then I would gently press Mrs Brake pedal, and go down Miss Gears".

"No, you misunderstood" he said "what if mist or fog came down".

I just told him to just write me the ticket

I always thought you were a silly fucker so i now realise this isn't the case