[Misc] Your Best Ever Misunderstandings.....

[Eeyore]

Just a few minutes ago I took a look at the rugby results and almost fell off my seat.

ITALY have beaten the All Blacks 20-10

I couldn't get it. Had the All Blacks fielded a second eleven, a team of under 12s, a supporters team ? Nope, they had a pretty decent team line up.

What I couldn't understand was why the BBC didn't have it as their main rugby headline. It's an historic result.

I then looked again. Italy haven't beaten the All Blacks... the match is at 20.10

I was going to post it on here. But I'm already a fool enough without that.

Has anyone ever made themselves look as dumb like this before ?

 

[birthofanorange]

Women.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Just a few minutes ago I took a look at the rugby results and almost fell of my seat.

ITALY have beaten the All Blacks 20-10

I couldn't get it. Had the All Blacks fielded a second eleven, a team of under 12s, a supporters team ? Nope, they had a pretty decent team line up.

What I couldn't understand was why the BBC didn't have it as their main rugby headline. It's an historic result.

I then looked again. Italy haven't beaten the All Blacks... the match is at 20.10

I was going to post it on here. But I'm already a fool enough without that.

Has anyone ever made themselves look as dumb like this before ?

No, just you

 

[Eeyore]

No, just you

It's not just that. I was going to send me Welsh mate commiserations after their 17-40 loss to South Africa...

 

[PeterT]

It's not just that. I was going to send me Welsh mate commiserations after their 17-40 loss to South Africa...

He‘d probably take that result now, to be fair ….

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Being autistic....I have no idea where to start.

People, mostly. I can't read them. Especially when they change.

I find it hard enough to see the lines, so my attempts to read between them is . . . tricky.

Luckily I have flashes of insight. Hence my having patented a new drug.

But that was between me and my reasoning. No reading of people needed

 

[Jeremiah]

Well I quite open threads on here and read the stuff people have posted and are astonished at what they say , especially about players injuries , Only then to realise that it is a bounced thread and the posts are years old !

 

[Normal Rob]

He‘d probably take that result now, to be fair ….

The Saffers are going to put at least 60 on them...

 

[jackanada]

The then partner called to me from the other room.
"Hey what's your favourite food?"
"Pie!"
"What kind of pie?"
"Cream pie!" snicker
"Really? What kind of cream pie?"
"There's more than one kind of cream pie?" am I being out smutted?
"Well there's strawberry cream pie, banana cream pie, boysenberry.."
"Oh Banana Cream Pie"

Anyhow many weeks later the poor lady proudly announced she'd made me my favourite. I had absolutely no idea what she meant, even after she specified my favourite pie.
Turns out banana cream pie is rather nice, and as I was crying with laughter when I first tried it I remain very fond of the stuff.

 

[ozzygull]

 

[WATFORD zero]

Got pulled up by a police car doing 80 on a dual carriageway. When the young (aren't they all these days) policeman came over I tried to plead my case that it was a completely straight, traffic free road with great visibility. "But what if Mr Fog" came down he said to me.

I thought he was coming round to my way of thinking, so I answered with a smile, "then I would gently press Mrs Brake pedal, and go down Miss Gears".

"No, you misunderstood" he said "what if mist or fog came down".

I just told him to just write me the ticket

 

[Easy 10]

Embarrassed myself in our local a few months ago. It was a noisy bar with football on in the background, and I was being served by a (not unattractive) young barmaid, who I know fairly well. I ordered my beer, and as she was pouring, over the noise she said:

"Fancy a quicky ?"
"I'm sorry ?"
Do you fancy a quicky ?"
"A QUICKY ??"
"Nooooo....a COOKIE!"

She'd bought a bag of cookies in for the staff and had a few left over. I wanted the ground to swallow me up

 

[Questions]

Mrs Q mumbles a lot under her breath and I often think she is saying, “I hate your guts”

 

[Weststander]

An online groceries fck up springs to mind, I/we didn’t realise that each banana ordered at ASDA really meant a large bunch. So after ordering 20 banana, crates of the stuff arrived at the front door.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Embarrassed myself in our local a few months ago. It was a noisy bar with football on in the background, and I was being served by a (not unattractive) young barmaid, who I know fairly well. I ordered my beer, and as she was pouring, over the noise she said:

"Fancy a quicky ?"
"I'm sorry ?"
Do you fancy a quicky ?"
"A QUICKY ??"
"Nooooo....a COOKIE!"

She'd bought a bag of cookies in for the staff and had a few left over. I wanted the ground to swallow me up

Did you sleep with her?

 

[Easy 10]

Did you sleep with her?

No. But I nibbled on her cookie.

 

[Zeberdi]

An online groceries fck up springs to mind, I/we didn’t realise that each banana ordered at ASDA really meant a large bunch. So after ordering 20 banana, crates of the stuff arrived at the front door.

Reminds me of the opposite error - ordering 1 kilo of loose Brussel sprouts in an online Sainsbury shop during covid. When my shopping arrived, a single and very lonely Brussel Sprout arrived with a label on it larger than the sprout all duly marked with weight and price.

I’d clicked on 1 Sprout instead of one kilo - the funny thing was though, that some checkout girl actually believed someone would order a single Brussel Sprout in a weeks worth of shopping and then went to all the trouble of labeling it.

What on earth could they have been thinking?

 

[WATFORD zero]

Did you sleep with her?

And she said it was the best night's sleep she'd had in years

 

[Tiptoe through the NSC]

We'd all had a beer or two. I was leaning on the kitchen door while my friend was making a curry. He spilt the cumin seeds and, as he tidied them up, said "Waste want, not not". From the lounge, I heard our mate call out "Who's there?". I was laughing so hard it took me ages to explain to them both what had just happened.

 

[Eeyore]

I was at a charity match when a young woman came over selling raffle tickets. I asked how much. She responded '£5 a strip' I replied 'I'll just have the tickets thanks'

My ex once had a moan at me when away in Somerset. I was engrossed in the England versus Australia Test match. 'You only came here because you wanted to go to Yeovil didn't you ?'

The match was at The Oval