Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

www.omegle.com



vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,259
Stranger: hi asl
You: ja hallooo
Stranger: asl;d
You: wot iss asl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

(I know what "asl" means, I just thought it was RUDE to ask like that)

I used to play online card games and Domino's on Yahoo Games... always knew when you were dealing with a septic.. straight away ...A/S/L ?
 






SirDouglasLoft

New member
Jul 4, 2008
6,876
Stranger: Do you like sex with furniture?
You: yes i do
You: do you
Stranger: me too, yeah
You: good aint it
Stranger: what kind of furniture do you prefere?
You: sofa's EVERYTIME
You: yourself?
Stranger: well i like it harder
Stranger: a table is good;)
You: or wooden chair?
Stranger: yes.. why not:)
You: good lad
You: do you prefer furniture or people?
You: or ANIMALS perhaps?
Stranger: animals are good
Stranger: i like cats
Stranger: and you?
You: im a fan of a rabbit
Stranger: theyre fast :)
You: cats are good though
You: the faster the better ;)
Stranger: yep

:lolol:
This guy is very odd...

You: :)
Stranger: do you like sex with fruits or vegetable?
You: yes, i love to have sex with a PLUM
You: whats your favourite
Stranger: pineapples are fine..
Stranger: ...but they get sticky
You: i've never tried a pineapple oddly enough
You: apples are BAD
Stranger: do you like sugar?
You: i love sugar
Stranger: hitler loved sugar!
Stranger: sugar is bad!
Stranger: hitler loves you!!!!1
You: i loved hitler
You: we were secret lovers back in the day
Stranger: and?..... was he good?^^
You: the best, better than a sofa, and a plum. PUT TOGETHER
Stranger: :)
Stranger: what i missed a bit in this conversation:
Stranger: asl? :D
You: 74, m, germany
You: you
Stranger: 17 m germaly
Stranger: *germany
Stranger: 2 möglichkeiten:
You: im 74, you 17, maybe we could hook up ;)
Stranger: natürlich:)
Stranger: und so wie ichs sehe, bist du nicht aus deutschland ^____^
You: f*** you, you german prick
Stranger: ouch
You: SUCK MY DICK
 


Smithy

Well-known member
Apr 26, 2009
3,417
Hove
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: salut
You: hi
Stranger: çava ?
You: you are french?
Stranger: oui
You: shit. language barrier
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,259
This guy is very odd...

You: :)
Stranger: do you like sex with fruits or vegetable?
You: yes, i love to have sex with a PLUM
You: whats your favourite
Stranger: pineapples are fine..
Stranger: ...but they get sticky
You: i've never tried a pineapple oddly enough
You: apples are BAD
Stranger: do you like sugar?
You: i love sugar
Stranger: hitler loved sugar!
Stranger: sugar is bad!
Stranger: hitler loves you!!!!1
You: i loved hitler
You: we were secret lovers back in the day
Stranger: and?..... was he good?^^
You: the best, better than a sofa, and a plum. PUT TOGETHER
Stranger: :)
Stranger: what i missed a bit in this conversation:
Stranger: asl? :D
You: 74, m, germany
You: you
Stranger: 17 m germaly
Stranger: *germany
Stranger: 2 möglichkeiten:
You: im 74, you 17, maybe we could hook up ;)
Stranger: natürlich:)
Stranger: und so wie ichs sehe, bist du nicht aus deutschland ^____^
You: f*** you, you german prick
Stranger: ouch
You: SUCK MY DICK


You two will be married within 6 weeks, nailed on !
 






Marty McFly

Seagulls Over Canada
Aug 19, 2006
3,640
La Pêche, Quebec
You: Hey
Stranger: ever stick your fingers down there and taste it
You: all the time. Drs said I don't have enough salt in my diet
You: you?
Stranger: oh shit
Stranger: i tasted it
You: nah - my front bottom
Stranger: your sand dollar
You: I can actually lick myself out
Stranger: my dog does that
Stranger: all day
Stranger: you are female
You: I might be you dog. I do love a nice hard bone
You: yes
Stranger: you have a bone though
You: ?
Stranger: oh, you said you love hard bone
You: I had a really embarrasing moment with a dog once
Stranger: so do you keep yourself trimmed up
You: yeep. I'm Brazillian livving in London...I try to avoid the big coat...
Stranger: yummy
You: do you, big boy?
Stranger: i let my garden grow wild
You: do you have an afro?
Stranger: no, im not very hairy
You: My ex had an afro comb for his pubes....I used to love stroking hi 'fro
Stranger: thats rich
You: whaat's your name?
Stranger: i know your a man
Stranger: Rico
You: nah - i'm all woman.

I'm Chloe.
You: I'm 38
Stranger: nice
Stranger: i love brazil
Stranger: beautiful women
Stranger: great food
You: and I still have pert breastss...I'm topless at the moment and they're still sitting pretty on my chest. I like to give them a play.
You: But I have swine flu now
Stranger: lots of trannies
Stranger: you might die
Stranger: try to rest up
Stranger: and hydrate
You: I know. I caught it from f***ing a pig...my ex
Stranger: oh shit
Stranger: thats hilarious
You: when I threw him out the house I proved pigs could fly
Stranger: oh no you didn't
Stranger: ha
Stranger: why aren't you wearing your top while you play on the computer?
Stranger: is it really hot
You: yeah.

But he took an injunction out against me when I kept posting my pubes through his letter box and feeding them to his dog
You: yep....boiling
You: what are you wearing?
Stranger: jean shorts and a tank top
Stranger: its hot
You: Where you from?
Stranger: alabama
Stranger: US
Stranger: downtown
You: I heard Alabama guys are pretty hot
Stranger: you know?
Stranger: im ok
You: bet you got a large dick
Stranger: not huge
Stranger: pretty nice
Stranger: i like to taste it
Stranger: serious
You: its what you do with it eh.

I'd like to taste it
Stranger: go ahead
You: well, obviously not from here
 


Marty McFly

Seagulls Over Canada
Aug 19, 2006
3,640
La Pêche, Quebec
I made a new friend...

You: Hello
Stranger: hey baby
You: I got released from jail today.
Stranger: oh wow me too
You: I'm afraaid I'll reoffend
Stranger: child rapist?
Stranger: alright f*** this, this pizza > you
Stranger: douche bag
 




vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,259
This is a rich vein of comedic possibilities.....
 


Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,211
Back in Sussex
You: Make up a song about Lloyd Owusu please.
You: preferably with a good rhyme.
Stranger: I'm not much of a songwriter...
You: what can you do
Stranger: Nothing.
You: really?
You: literally, nothing?
Stranger: Really. Except roses are red violets are blue blahblahblah Lloyd Owusu.
You: It's catchy, I like it.
Stranger: Thanks. It took me all night to think of it.
 


Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,211
Back in Sussex
You: is this going anywhere do you think?
Stranger: Do you want it to go somewhere?
You: Sure.
You: Melbourne is nice.
Stranger: Oh, okay.
You: see you there?
Stranger: Sure. Tomorrow at 8 PM
Stranger: Don't be late.
You: or what?
You: are you threatening me?
Stranger: No. Of course...not...
You: hmmmm
Stranger: I have to go make dinner. It was wonderful talking to you. See you in Melbourne tomorrow.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 




Collar Feeler

No longer feeling collars
Jul 26, 2003
1,322
Well apparently just from saying hello I am a 14 year old girl and someone is trying to groom me! :lolol: I shouldn't laugh but it appears to be mostly populated by paedos, and sad flatscreen wankers.
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,259
Well apparently just from saying hello I am a 14 year old girl and someone is trying to groom me! :lolol: I shouldn't laugh but it appears to be mostly populated by paedos, and sad flatscreen wankers.

hey.. you bitch ! I thought we were getting on quite well :mad:
 






Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,211
Back in Sussex
Stranger: asl? churri ^^
You: Please write me a song about Lloyd Owusu.
Stranger: MASTER! MASTER!!
You: that's a bit short
You: and doesn't rhyme
Stranger: haah
Stranger: metallica rules
You: are you going to write a song or not?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 




Marty McFly

Seagulls Over Canada
Aug 19, 2006
3,640
La Pêche, Quebec
You: do you like alsations?
Stranger: erm, they're okay
Stranger: I prefer cats to dogs really
You: I really like them. They're great companionship
You: Cat's claws are too painful....I get a horrible cock rash from them as well
Stranger: ...
You: I find dogs more willing
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: I need help. My mum and dad left today...
You: theey found out I was f***ing rex
Stranger: Well, maybe you should go ito counselling
You: I think they should. Why can't they accpet me for who I am?
Stranger: it's a cultural norms thing
Stranger: some things just aren't accepted in most countries
Stranger: what you need is a support group of like-minded friends
You: I'm from Cornwall in the UK. All my friends are sleeping with dogs....Why can't I?
Stranger: Oh, cool, same country
Stranger: well
Stranger: you can
You: where are you from?
Stranger: brighton
You: yeah. Are you gay?
Stranger: Bi
You: Wanna meet with me aand rex
Stranger: it's a bit of a trip
You: Could meet you half way down?

Have you got a dog? We could have an orgy?
You: I'm not fussy...hamsters are also fine...
Stranger: No, no pets
Stranger: sorry
You: Maybe you could be my pet....I locked up one of my friends...he's been missing for years and is still in our basement....I call him my little poodle
You: he used to have a tight bottom
You: Do you like football?
Stranger: hmmm, interesting offer, but I'll pass
Stranger: well, I can sit through a game given some beer and friends
You: yeah - who do you support?
Stranger: Man U, my dad's team
You: I support my dad's team. Social services didn't approve
Stranger: really?
You: why don't you support brighton?
Stranger: because there's no way in hell brighton will ever get into any real matches
You: I like Lloyd Owusu
You: he's a brighton player
Stranger: what position?
You: up front. its where I like them
Stranger: *sigh*
Stranger: I'm just going to come out and ask it
You: ?
Stranger: you're a /b/tard, aren't you?
You: i'm a what?
Stranger: you're either a /b/tard, or quite mad. or both
You: You don't like me?
Stranger: I never said that
You: Do you want to be my master?
Stranger: how old are you?
Stranger: I ain't doing shit with a legal minor
You: Are you trying to groom me?
Stranger: no
You: scum
You have disconnected.
 


Paxton Dazo

Up The Spurs.
Mar 11, 2007
9,719
Imagine if 2 of us , ended up talking to eachother. :laugh:

Stranger: :O
You: Alright, cupcake?
Stranger: yes thanks
Stranger: what are you doing
You: good girl. are you a boy from tottenham, a boy from white hart lane? oh, are you on your way to wembley? are you gunna do it again? they cant stop you..
Stranger: yes yes yes yes
You: Good, good. What are you thoughts on Brighton & Hove Albion FC staying in divison 2?
Stranger: there is no such thing as magic
You: Also, what are your thoughts on Whingys chin? I would, would you?
Stranger: i'm the town rapist
You: Oh, are you now. But Brighton is a city.
You: Would you like to Dry slap howard webb?
Stranger: rather cockslap



She/He refered to brighton staying up as 'magic':lolol:
 




Notters

Well-known member
Oct 20, 2003
24,887
Guiseley
I'm clearly not witty enough for this. Maybe I just don't want to upset anyone???

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: hi
You: What is this asl?
You: hi!
Stranger: age, sex, land
You: Yes to all of those!
Stranger: land = cou ntry
Stranger: My asl is: 18/m/gay/Sweden
Stranger: Your asl?
Stranger: Awake?
You: Do you know Dean Cox?
Stranger: No. Why?
You: He's a football player
Stranger: No.
 


Da Man Clay

T'Blades
Dec 16, 2004
16,285
You: Make up a song about Lloyd Owusu please.
You: preferably with a good rhyme.
Stranger: I'm not much of a songwriter...
You: what can you do
Stranger: Nothing.
You: really?
You: literally, nothing?
Stranger: Really. Except roses are red violets are blue blahblahblah Lloyd Owusu.
You: It's catchy, I like it.
Stranger: Thanks. It took me all night to think of it.

Ha ha ha, thats fantastic!!
 


Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here