[Drinking] Work Christmas parties

[The Clamp]

This year it’s the first year I have ever been invited to a works do where the bar is free all night.

It’s also the year I gave up drinking alcohol

Free food though too. I’ve not given that up yet.

 

[Cotton Socks]

I have one tonight for the charity shop I volunteer at. As there aren’t many of us we have tagged on the local lawn bowls club’s one. I have a feeling there won’t be much to report on this thread tomorrow .

It's always the ones you least expect!!! I'm hoping to hear tales of the Bowls club chairman getting absolutely hammered & getting up to mischief now!!

 

[HillBarnTillIDie]

It's always the ones you least expect!!! I'm hoping to hear tales of the Bowls club chairman getting absolutely hammered & getting up to mischief now!!

and flashing his wood…

 

[Driver8]

It's always the ones you least expect!!! I'm hoping to hear tales of the Bowls club chairman getting absolutely hammered & getting up to mischief now!!

I’ll try and sneak a picture or two. Apparently we have bingo followed by a disco.

 

[Cotton Socks]

I’ll try and sneak a picture or two. Apparently we have bingo followed by a disco.

There's going to be carnage if 2 people shout 'house' at the same time. My thoughts are with the Bingo caller, make sure you're ready to protect them.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

At one of my old firms we had our Xmas do at Wembley Stadium in the Bobby Moore Suite for two consecutive years.

Food, beer and table wine are laid on for free. Not really a wine drinker and bloated after a few beers I move into spirits and was presented with a bill of £17.75 for a JD and Coke, which quickly became not the most economic piss up.

To counter this the second year I covertly added a second wrapped present to the secret Santa bundle addressed to myself which was to be opened after dinner. Naturally it was litre bottle of JD that I kept under the table and had a brilliant night

 

[dazzer6666]

At one of my old firms we had our Xmas do at Wembley Stadium in the Bobby Moore Suite for two consecutive years.

Food, beer and table wine are laid on for free. Not really a wine drinker and bloated after a few beers I move into spirits and was presented with a bill of £17.75 for a JD and Coke, which quickly became not the most economic piss up.

To counter this the second year I covertly added a second wrapped present to the secret Santa bundle addressed to myself which was to be opened after dinner. Naturally it was litre bottle of JD that I kept under the table and had a brilliant night

Genius

 

[A mex eyecan]

I have one tonight for the charity shop I volunteer at. As there aren’t many of us we have tagged on the local lawn bowls club’s one. I have a feeling there won’t be much to report on this thread tomorrow .

bowls club you say? i expect any rowdy ladies will be trying hard to get right up close to Jack.

 

[Driver8]

An update that the charity/bowls club party. Just waiting for an ambulance to arrive for the poor girl that collapsed and had a fit in the food queue. Didn’t stop the oldies stepping over her for their buffet mind.

 

[Brian Munich]

One year at our team xmas lunch, our recently-divorced posh boy got morose then angry then arrested. When he'd sobered up a bit in his cell he loudly demanded to see the duty solicitor. Until the guy rocks up and it's his ex-wife's new boyfriend. At which point he loudly demanded not to see the duty solicitor

 

[WATFORD zero]

I have one tonight for the charity shop I volunteer at. As there aren’t many of us we have tagged on the local lawn bowls club’s one. I have a feeling there won’t be much to report on this thread tomorrow .

Mrs Wz is out on one of her charity ones tonight. I think that even though she's Glaswegian, I can safely get an early night without worrying about bailing anyone out

The only company I have left is the one that only employs me, and I can be a right grumpy bastard, even at the best of times, so I'm not looking forward to that Xmas party

 

[Driver8]

There's going to be carnage if 2 people shout 'house' at the same time. My thoughts are with the Bingo caller, make sure you're ready to protect them.

There was confusion when the “winner” confused their raffle ticket with their bingo number. Inquest ongoing.

 

[WATFORD zero]

This year it’s the first year I have ever been invited to a works do where the bar is free all night.

It’s also the year I gave up drinking alcohol

Free food though too. I’ve not given that up yet.

Just stay slightly more sober/righteous than the kids. Other than that

 

[Dave the OAP]

What is this “ work” of which you speak

 

[The Clamp]

Was out on Medic response tonight. Jesus wept.

Amateur drinkers fighting, falling over, wounding themselves, domestics, arguing with co-workers.

A constant stream of transporting casualties up to A&E.

I’m cancelling Christmas next year. You’re welcome.

 

[ROSM]

Our work now have a concept of senior manager in charge. Every real senior person rushes to 'leave' early and continue drinking at an unofficial event attended only be people they like. So being the senior in charge at the ends means a) no fun and b) other senior can't stand you

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

This year it’s the first year I have ever been invited to a works do where the bar is free all night.

It’s also the year I gave up drinking alcohol

Free food though too. I’ve not given that up yet.

It'll be my first booze free Christmas too, gave up in January and havent missed it.

 

[lawros left foot]

I was based at HMS Sultan in the mid 80,s, and one of the perks of the job at that time, was the chefs used to get all the money paid by the pig men for used oil and waste foodstuffs.

This went in the pot for a big Christmas run ashore just round Gosport. The Christmas of 85, all went well, I was on the verge of getting married, so I left to come home to Worthing early, and most of the other boys gradually made their way over to Pompey, or home when the kitty ran out.
5 of the lads stayed in Gosport and were entertaining a group of young ladies, one of whom invited them back to her place. She then took them all on, one after the other.

3 of them got crabs, 2 of those were married.

Happy Christmas.

 

[scooter1]

The company I work for have been unable to get their shit together to organise anything. And when they did try to get people to the pub at short notice, out of deference nobody went. Apparently they’re having another go in January….

 

[franks brother]

One year, I went with my wife to her Xmas party and before long there was a whole load of German Terrorists trying to steal from the buildings vault. They held everyone hostage but, I managed to get away and picked them off one by one until there was just a few left.

Throughout, I managed to stay in contact with the local police using a radio that I stole from a bad guy. The cop was hopeless but, he kept my spirits up.

I sustained some pretty serious injuries and spent quite a lot of time in air con vents but, it was worth it. I eventually managed to rescue everyone, including my wife, from the terrorist leader as he tried to hang on from her watch. He eventually fell to his death.

One ass hat colleague of hers did get shot but, he was trying to be a white knight We don't talk about him.

It was a wild night. Shame I didn't keep the Xmas jumper I made... Ho, ho, ho.