[Drinking] Work Christmas parties

[Deportivo Seagull]

Warning *Not Christmas, not a disaster and not funny*

Ended up at very short notice in Portland Oregon over the thanksgiving week for work. Not met the guy who had organised the trip but from calls and emails he was a right arse, which proved to be true when I actually met him. I planned to stay in the hotel drinking beer and watching American Football for Thanksgiving itself, however this chap decided I should go to his house for the day. I tried my very best to get out of it but was told by those back in Blighty that it would be rude to refuse. One of the other guests picked me up on the on way waxing lyrical on how good the day will be. He was a bit of a knob as well so at this point I‘m half hopeing that I have a seizure or something to get out of it.
Anyway, we arrive at the guys house around 10:00, he opens the door, puts a bottle becks in my hand, leads me to the fridge and utters the magical words ‘I know you guys like a drink or two so I stocked up. Don't be shy and help yourself’. No one else started drinking till the afternoon. I was not helped by one of his kids being instructed to give me beer when my bottle was empty. I don’t think I embarrassed myself …..
When it came to work he reverted to being an absolute arsehole.

 

[Brovion]

I've obviously led a very sheltered life because at 67 I have never been to a debauched, "no holds barred, OMG did I really do that?' office Christmas party. Been to a few where people (including me) got a bit drunk, but nothing like the stories here.

All I can offer is this - which doesn't even involve me: About ten years ago when I was a contractor I was working for a very nice company. Come Christmas time they invited me out on their Christmas Lunch. This was a very staid affair in a local restaurant, nice food and drink, and then we all went back to work afterwards. A bit boring really, but at the lunch they told me the reason why. Just before Christmas last year they had been taken over by an American company. The new owners, keen to 'do the right thing' had very decently organised a Christmas bash at a local hotel. Big dinner, dancing, entertainment, and rooms in the hotel so that no one had to drive. They also set up a free, no limits bar.

Now the culture might be slightly different in America, but their new employees across the pond, all British and Irish, took one look at the free bar, went "Wahey!" and proceeded to all drink themselves into a stupor. The next morning the American representatives of the new owners (who had gone to bed early) simply couldn't believe the size of the bar bill which had run into several thousand. (Probably not helped by the fact they were a Mormon company). They were angry, and immediately called all the, very hungover, staff into the office and interviewed them all individually. It was carnage. There were people being sick in the wastepaper baskets, asleep in the toilet and passed out in the corridor. The question they asked everybody was "Would you have drunk so much if you'd had to pay for your drinks?" to which they all replied (those who could speak) "No of course not, but it was free." They apparently found this almost impossible to understand: why drink so much just because it was free?

Anyway, next year it was just a lunch ...

 

[The Wookiee]

Trust me it was funny. It's a Paddy Power based piss take of typical Xmas party antics. No idea why link failed. It's on you tube

 

[METALMICKY]

Did same for you then

 

[Driver8]

I briefly worked for an insurance company in Haywards Heath back in the early 90’s. At our sit down Christmas Lunch the office head thought that it would be a good idea to set off an indoor firework just as we were all about to start eating. This resulted in everyone’s dinner being covered in tiny bits of glitter making it basically inedible.

 

[Is it PotG?]

 

[schmunk]

At our sit down Christmas Lunch the office dickhead thought that it would be a good idea to set off an indoor firework just as we were all about to start eating.

Fixed your typo.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Mine could be a BELTER this year.

A couple of months ago, someone left our company in a blaze of glory calling his manager - and I quote - a "Geriatric little prick" (GLP) before storming out the office and taking the door off it's hinges in the process. He hasn't been seen since.

I've arranged an Xmas party for Thursday to which said manager has invited himself along. Some of the team are irked by this intrusion (myself included, plays havoc with the bookings and he should sort his own team out). Similarly, he obviously isn't the most liked individual.

Anyway, one of the team has texted Blaze of Glory saying it would be nice to catch up with him over a beer ommiting the rather important detail of GLP's presence.

I really hope I'm not disappointed.

Well that wasn't the plan.

GLP and Blaze of Glory didn't cross paths. In fact, Blaze didn't show at all and GLP kept himself to himself at the meal. Booooo.

Myself, however, started on the Premium strength German Lager at the posh bar from 14.00. Several of them and numerous Tequila Rose later, it was time to go home as I'm at Cheltenham races today and wanted to get back at a half decent time which would have been around half 10.

In order to make my train, I downed the last G&T which made me feel a bit queasy and rested my weary head against the train window. I woke up in what seemed like several seconds later in Oxford when I wanted to be in Coventry. I did manage to get home albeit via Banbury and a 50 quid Uber. The dog barking the house down when I eventually got in also cheered the house up no end.

Waiting for a lift to the races this morning, my wife keeps giving me jobs to do, I got Dog shit on my hands walking the dog and I want to throw up. Happy days.

 

[Machiavelli]

Well that wasn't the plan.

GLP and Blaze of Glory didn't cross paths. In fact, Blaze didn't show at all and GLP kept himself to himself at the meal. Booooo.

Myself, however, started on the Premium strength German Lager at the posh bar from 14.00. Several of them and numerous Tequila Rose later, it was time to go home as I'm at Cheltenham races today and wanted to get back at a half decent time which would have been around half 10.

In order to make my train, I downed the last G&T which made me feel a bit queasy and rested my weary head against the train window. I woke up in what seemed like several seconds later in Oxford when I wanted to be in Coventry. I did manage to get home albeit via Banbury and a 50 quid Uber. The dog barking the house down when I eventually got in also cheered the house up no end.

Waiting for a lift to the races this morning, my wife keeps giving me jobs to do, I got Dog shit on my hands walking the dog and I want to throw up. Happy days.

Everything is still splendid. Great to hear.

 

[dazzer6666]

Had our catch up in a West London pub yesterday. Absolutely mobbed from 2pm onwards, around 5pm 2/3 large groups of private banking/hedge fund types all in black tie swamped the place until around 7 when they all buggered off to whatever venue they were headed for next. Can't remember what it was like when I left

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

One year at our team xmas lunch, our recently-divorced posh boy got morose then angry then arrested. When he'd sobered up a bit in his cell he loudly demanded to see the duty solicitor. Until the guy rocks up and it's his ex-wife's new boyfriend. At which point he loudly demanded not to see the duty solicitor

 

[Insel affe]

One year at our team xmas lunch, our recently-divorced posh boy got morose then angry then arrested. When he'd sobered up a bit in his cell he loudly demanded to see the duty solicitor. Until the guy rocks up and it's his ex-wife's new boyfriend. At which point he loudly demanded not to see the duty solicitor

That is some bad luck

 

[Ali_rrr]

Work Christmas lunches are not like they used to be. The stuff that went on in my job straight out of uni in 2002 would see people sacked and cancelled (as they probably should be tbh). I swear the yoof don’t drink stupidly like we used to. It is probably for the best because some awkward moments followed.

I think for a few reasons, at least from my 27 year old perspective.

Firstly, it's just so expensive. If you're at the start of your career and you're living in London etc, a night of proper drinking ends up being over 100 quid. The dinner is sometimes covered but it's usually after where you really start and more and more companies are opting to do something small in the office as to ensure things don't get out of hand.

Secondly, phones. Things get recorded these days, in the digital world; it sticks. Additionally, if someone gets fired for gross misconduct, it's a lot easier to find out how or why, it's a LinkedIn message to the former boss for example where before everything wasn't digital.

Lastly, I think people would prefer to spend those big nights out with friends rather than some people older than them (saying that, it can be fun seeing the senior colleagues become unhinged).

Mix of reasons really and I'm sure some here will disagree.



In terms of my own story, we had a staff party with all the branches of a well known coffee chain in The Netherlands. One guy after started telling people he slept with a girl who was his supervisor. Turns out she was not out yet and her girlfriend was also one of the other supervisors creating a massive HR headache and him inevitably indirectly outing her. He didn't stay much longer.

 

[jcdenton08]

They’re largely too risky to attend. For office based roles, it’s a lot better to keep your friends and your work colleagues separate, particularly those of the opposite sex. I’ve known four HR issues be raised in the last 7 years, leading to one sacking and two final warnings. I don’t know the details of most of them, but one of them was for a proposition and one for a joke gone bad.

Just not worth the risk.

 

[Gazwag]

Gold.

Thread 'An emotional apology to all.' https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/threads/an-emotional-apology-to-all.42216/

This was my instant thought when reading this thread - how the hell can that thread be 20 years old ffs

 

[Sid and the Sharknados]

I've got mine tonight.

Starting drinking again this week after 10weeks off the alcohol. There's a fair chance I don't make it to the actual do.

It used to be at lunchtime until the killjoys decided that wasn't allowed anymore. Boo.

 

[Driver8]

I have one tonight for the charity shop I volunteer at. As there aren’t many of us we have tagged on the local lawn bowls club’s one. I have a feeling there won’t be much to report on this thread tomorrow .

 

[Berty23]

I think for a few reasons, at least from my 27 year old perspective.

Firstly, it's just so expensive. If you're at the start of your career and you're living in London etc, a night of proper drinking ends up being over 100 quid. The dinner is sometimes covered but it's usually after where you really start and more and more companies are opting to do something small in the office as to ensure things don't get out of hand.

Secondly, phones. Things get recorded these days, in the digital world; it sticks. Additionally, if someone gets fired for gross misconduct, it's a lot easier to find out how or why, it's a LinkedIn message to the former boss for example where before everything wasn't digital.

Lastly, I think people would prefer to spend those big nights out with friends rather than some people older than them (saying that, it can be fun seeing the senior colleagues become unhinged).

Mix of reasons really and I'm sure some here will disagree.



In terms of my own story, we had a staff party with all the branches of a well known coffee chain in The Netherlands. One guy after started telling people he slept with a girl who was his supervisor. Turns out she was not out yet and her girlfriend was also one of the other supervisors creating a massive HR headache and him inevitably indirectly outing her. He didn't stay much longer.

I understand all of this. The cost and phones would have destroyed pretty much all of the late 90s for me.

When I was at uni my rent was 30 quid a week. It was 2 quid a pint. But if you went to certain club nights it was 4 for the price of one or pay 15 quid and all drinks free. Occasionally someone would have one of those disposable camera out on a night out but not often. And certainly no videos.

Being a student now is nothing like it was. Arguably a good thing!

 

[METALMICKY]

Even the palace are at it!

Woman arrested after Buckingham Palace staff Christmas party

Police officers were called to a bar in central London following reports a customer had smashed glasses and tried to assault a member of staff.

news.sky.com

 

[sparkie]

My company Christmas meals have generally been generous and fun.

This year however, a change of tack.

It's a lunchtime meal. And we all have specific clauses in our contracts forbidding lunch time drinking. Oh well.

At least it's free food and on company paid time, I suppose.