What's the oddest thing you've seen in real life?

[Snarkey5]

once saw a palace fan speak normal english

 

[blue2]

Just out of school summer holidays before starting work proper worked in a brothol making cups of tea for the girls now I did see some very strange things during the six weeks I worked there

 

[T.G]

I had just finish watching Sons and Lovers, which has several sex scenes throughout the film. Driving home after, we were pulling out of the car park when a naked man appeared out of some bushes to the side of the road and started wanking as we were driving by. The weird thing was that all of us in the car collectively took no notice (de-sensitised) until further down the road when we all looked at each other and started laughing manically.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I used to work in A&E. I've seen a LOT of bizarre shit.

I mentional on that Arsenal thread the other day seeing two trannies getting stuck in to a little arsenal firm outside the cricketers with a for sale sign.
I once saw this full on Rasta sprinting down Madeira drive like a cross between Bob Marley and Usain Bolt, being pursued by two uniformed plod...the heroic rasta had a massive spliff clamped between his teeth that was about the same size as the cardboard tube inside a roll of kitchen paper..he absolutely skinned the two old bill cheered on by bus loads of day trippers.

 

[jimhigham]

Saw an artistic type sketching the band while standing on the fringes of the mosh pit. A very good likeness too.

Then I politely asked if I could squeeze by to deliver the pints I was carrying. He turned to me and threatened to stab me in the face.

I went the very long way round.

 

[Philzo-93]

Once saw an elderly gentleman give a kid £20 to go on the see-saw with him. Very well known in Burgess Hill, Jeffrey's his name. Albion fan too.

Has a mental problem that makes him have a child-like mind!

 

[GingerBeerMan]

Once saw an elderly gentleman give a kid £20 to go on the see-saw with him. Very well known in Burgess Hill, Jeffrey's his name. Albion fan too.

Has a mental problem that makes him have a child-like mind!

That's so sad Some of these stories are funny as f*** though.

 

[HovaGirl]

I saw a guy walk into a lamp post after a night out and then apologise to it.

I've done that. I was sober and it was during the day!

 

[HovaGirl]

Years ago, I was standing outside a butcher's shop in Covent Garden which had a load of chickens dangling on display on a rail outside the shop. An Irish man walked by, grabbed a chicken and said: "Oi tink oi'll be havin' this", and walked off with it in full view of the giggling multitude.

 

[Jesus Gul]

I've seen someone fall off a Segway. It was a group doing the Segway tour of Beirut. She just wiped out at a corner.

 

[Twizzle]

Latino bloke in a big truck stopped to read a map but mustve had the 1st gear in while idling. The truck edged forward to a telegraph pole that had a wire at 45degrees° to hold the pole.
The truck met the wire and promply climbed it! Result was a large lorry at 45° to a pole with a confused driver clambering down in a panic to scratch his head!

He gingerly climbed back up and reversed it down again.
Surreal!

 

[sydney]

a bloke in zambia with a phospherous grenade scar through his face..........his whole mouth and lower nose were burnt away and the surrounding skin was melted.......

open throat which had changed from squamous cells to epidermal......... f***ing wierd , i can still see it now.

 

[Mackenzie]

I saw a cow walking round and round in circles with a bucket stuck on its head........not something you see everyday.

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

Working in St James's Street that's just a normal day Das, but the funniest one I ever saw was this big fat dyke walking down the middle of the street against the traffic. She had a pair of combat shorts on but nothing else. The cars were swerving around her but then she came face to face with a bus, she stood there shouting and swearing at the bus to get out of the way and the bus driver just sat with his hand on the horn. Absolute classic stayed like that till the police eventually arrived.

i can well believe it bill , shocking area of the city
regards
Das Reich

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

He is still about and I think live opposite Pizza Hut, last time I saw him he went into the coop in front of me and my daughter in the que weaaring stockings suspenders and a high visabilty vest in case you missed him, asking if he could buy just one egg from the pack of six then he got on his bike and rode off up the road. Needless to say I pretended i did not to see him when my three year old daughter asked why that lady had a beard.

that's the one
regards
DR

 

[Hillian1]

Once saw an elderly gentleman give a kid £20 to go on the see-saw with him. Very well known in Burgess Hill, Jeffrey's his name. Albion fan too.

Has a mental problem that makes him have a child-like mind!

Good old Jeffrey, I gave him all my old travel vouchers last season, absolutely made up he was.

Shame though he got rid of the wicker basket he always used to carry around, now it's just plastic bags, not as much class Jeffrey, not as much class.

 

[banjo]

I've done that. I was sober and it was during the day!

Did you say sorry ?

 

[Brightonia]

Weirdest thing I saw was in Amsterdam in '07, a midget and a black man were having a full on row in the middle of the red light district, all of a sudden the black guy picked up the midget and threw him over the bridge and into the canal! I was utterly gob smacked!

Also in Amsterdam I was in a pub with the lads and a man came up to the window which we were sitting by with a plant pot on his head, he stood there for about half an hour starring at us before my mate went outside and smashed the pot of his head, he disappeared and came back about an hour later with another plant pot on his head!

By far the strangest place I've ever been!

 

[Hove Seagull]

Last Easter, driving through Otterbourne in Hampshire, saw a bloke with long hair and long beard carrying a very large wooden crucifix.

 

[Puppet Master]

This thread is brilliant. I'd just recovered from the tale of the bloke sprinting into the toilet spraying piss all over himself when I read the dwarf who got thrown over a bridge I am in tears!

As for my contribution, when I was a kid there was a fairly well-known tramp with a huge beard always hanging around Western Rd and the surrounding areas. On one occasion, I saw him sat on the bench outside Woolworths/Clinton Cards next to other people one busy Saturday afternoon having a very loud and dramatic wank (he was kind of doing this loud HO HO HO laugh thing) while shoppers with their kids just walked past completely ignoring him. A few weeks later, I saw him go into Churchill Sq, randomly walk into some womens clothes shop and drop to his knees in the doorway, open his raincoat exposing his naked hairy chest (thankfully the bottom half had some vomit-encrusted jeans on) and scream I AM GOD!!!! The security guards then came along, hoisted him up and forcefully ejected him in the time it took me to blink.

Walking along Rottingdean high street once (of all the places) with my mum when some huge fat bloke came cycling along the road, his arse crack hanging out of his trousers and spilling out over the seat. He had a small breed of dog happily running alongside him as he threw rolled up newspapers at people screaming SUCK MY C*CK! SUCK MY C*CK! SUCK MY C*CK! over and over. I'll never forget the reaction of an old lady as he threw a paper at her, she turned and yelled "oh for goodness SAKE!"