What's the oddest thing you've seen in real life?

[Bill Cassidy's tie up]

a transvestite walking down ST James street AND AN OLD BLOKE WEARING STOCKING AND SUSPENDERS walking down Lewes road in broad daylight............ EP possibly
regards
Das Reich

Working in St James's Street that's just a normal day Das, but the funniest one I ever saw was this big fat dyke walking down the middle of the street against the traffic. She had a pair of combat shorts on but nothing else. The cars were swerving around her but then she came face to face with a bus, she stood there shouting and swearing at the bus to get out of the way and the bus driver just sat with his hand on the horn. Absolute classic stayed like that till the police eventually arrived.

 

[Paddy B]

I once saw a rickety tin shed where unbelievably a professional football team play. Around Croydon way I think.

 

[Weststander]

In broad daylight one weekday lunchtime outside the Blind Busker Hove (or under a previous name):

I could hear the police helicopter above, and about 6 pc's on foot fanned out across Church Road in a wall as a running c. 18 year old made his way towards them. There were police cars everywhere too.

In a scene reminiscent of a Barbarians rugby match, the young man darted in and out of attempted police tackles making it through uncaught, and headed to the seafront pursued by all and sundry.

I bought the Argus for a few days afterwards to see what all the fuss was about. Surprise, surprise .... no coverage.

 

[Weststander]

I saw a man turn into a Lizard once.

Which was then slain by David Icke wearing a Richard the Lionheart outfit?

 

[Hendrax]

walking home from a weekend bender at about 4am, i was walking down the middle of the road (as you do), when i saw a man coming towards me. as he got close i could see he was wearing no clothes and had a Tesco shopping bag wrapped around his head like turban. All of a sudden he starting sprinting towards me mumbling something sinister. as you can imagine i turned on my heel and ran as fast as i could away from him.

was a very strange experience as i was very hungover (spaced out) at the time.

 

[The Andy Naylor Fan Club]

whilst on holiday in turkey, i saw a 65 year old ex-turkish pornstar wearing a netted swimming costume and making individual eye contact with everyone she went past. very disturbing

You couldn't tell us how you knew that she was an ex-porn star, could you?

 

[fisons]

As a 13 year old at Brighton College I sang in the choir at the Masonic Lodge Annual Service and was rather taken aback to see every member of staff ( except left wing loony maths teacher Ricko) walk past me wearing a skirt and some medals. I wonder what the percentage of teachers doing that 40 years later would be.

 

[dennis]

Back in the 80’s I went to visit my cousin in Islington. The said train journey required me going from East Croydon through to London Bridge. It was the day Birmingham City whilst in fancy dress invaded Palace and caused carnage.

Well anyway, as the train got to Norwood Junction I looked up from my newspaper to view the scum and I saw Yogi Bear and Boo Boo kicking shite out of a skinhead on the opposite platform.

There were a number of super hero’s squaring up to some of Palace’s finest as you looked further up the platform.

The train pulled away and i like a lot of the other passengers just looked aghast at the scene.

 

[TheJasperCo]

I saw a man turn into a Lizard once.

Take me to your dealer.

 

[vegster]

I once saw a drunk driver slew across a corner, mount the pavement, drive through a 18" high wall and then drive in to a tree. This was all done at about 15 miles an hour. The front of the car lifted up about 2 feet off the ground until the front wheels were well off the ground but the diver kept revving as the wheels span in the air. onlookers were amazed to see him then get out of the car and slump up against the rear wheel just as the rozzers arrived.It turned out he had left a trail of destruction for many miles and he was drunk as a skunk.

I asked one of the rozzers if he wanted my address as a witness and he smiled and said " Thank you sir, but, I think we have all the evidence here we need "

 

[timbha]

and I saw Yogi Bear and Boo Boo kicking shite out of a skinhead on the opposite platform.

There were a number of super hero’s squaring up to some of Palace’s finest as you looked further up the platform.

The train pulled away and i like a lot of the other passengers just looked aghast at the scene.

last game of the season at Port Vale a few years ago the van in front of us was getting some abuse from young PV fans. Suddenly the back door of the van flew open and out charged Elvis, a vicar and the Village People cowboy and construction worker chasing the PV fans down the street.

 

[Questions]

Take me to your dealer.

On that subject I once saw a giant crab in hobnail boots walk up the beach in Worthing. That was the last time I did that stuff.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

At Withdean I saw the stewards pull a bloke's leg off in H Block once. And then, about a week later, a bloke invaded the pitch driving an invalid car. Records don't, er, record, if it was the same bloke

 

[clapham_gull]

A gentleman of the road, proper old fashioned tramp asleep on the pavement outside the Palladium on Great Marlborough Street.

I couldn't understand why traffic was building on Great Malborough Street to take a look at him, some even blowing their horns.

Then I spotted it. A certain part of his body had escaped and was so huge the traffic was slowing down to take a look.

Quite difficult to describe here but all I can say is the Great Wall of China wasn't the only thing visible from space that day.

 

[Insel affe]

AN OLD BLOKE WEARING STOCKING AND SUSPENDERS walking down Lewes road in broad daylight............regards
Das Reich

He is still about and I think live opposite Pizza Hut, last time I saw him he went into the coop in front of me and my daughter in the que weaaring stockings suspenders and a high visabilty vest in case you missed him, asking if he could buy just one egg from the pack of six then he got on his bike and rode off up the road. Needless to say I pretended i did not to see him when my three year old daughter asked why that lady had a beard.

 

[clapham_gull]

He is still about and I think live opposite Pizza Hut, last time I saw him he went into the coop in front of me and my daughter in the que weaaring stockings suspenders and a high visabilty vest in case you missed him asking if he could buy just one egg from the pack of six then he got on his bike and rode off up the road. needless to say I pretended i did not to see him when my three year old daughter why that lady had a beard.

There is an old bloke in Clapham like that. Saw him last a year or so ago.

He goes shopping in a bikini and has some of those comedy plastic breasts Kenny Everett used to wear.

So many like that I lost count. Quite sad really, I used to live round the corner from a psychiatric unit. I assume they either had some day centre or old patients used to gravitate towards there. Most well known to the police who I had to contact on a couple of occasions. Only because I was worried about the patients safety.

From memory there was

The man who used to go to sleep in the middle of the road one outside my flat.

The man who used to dress as a clown.

The woman who would approach you, squeeze your arse and call you a prostitute.

The one I always saw carted off was "map man". Obviously obsessed with maps, he always had one. I once saw him standing a wall, on one leg with his arms winged like a bird. Karate Kid basically. Nothing too strange there but he stuffed multiple limes into his mouth and was having difficulty breathing.

Very sad but all completely harmless.

 

[tomfitz12]

You couldn't tell us how you knew that she was an ex-porn star, could you?

ah probably should have mentioned that. i enquired to the guy who owns the complex once she had left and it turns out she had been telling people abut it. she also apparently had some tapes which i unfortunately missed out on

 

[Goat lung]

Took my son who was about three at the time to our local swimming pool and in the changing room a guy was screwing on a false hand / hook my son stared at him for a bit (I was just about to give him a clout) then turned to me and said in rather a loud voice DAD is that man a pirate , the whole changing room fell about including the hook guy

 

[Northstandite]

Other than zzzzz stories about pride and tranvestites, any more unique stories?

 

[Bodian]

Two nuns carrying a five-a-side goal through Southwick Square. I looked for the TV cameras, but couldn't see any. All very Python-ish.