Unreal things that happen in films

[Lady Whistledown]

Yeah- they just happened to be in the middle of nowhere whilst on route to that well known isolated wilderness, Edinburgh.

Which obviously you'd drive to via single track farm roads and not motorways or A roads....

 

[Gwylan]

Weren't they in the "middle-of nowhere" where there probably was no signal. I can't even get a decent signal in parts of our "City-by-the-Sea"

There might be small spots where there's no decent signal but they could be temporary (ie a lot of people trying to use phones at the same time) or are in a dip. The Eastenders episode had them, as Edna pointed out, on a main road and with no signal within miles.

 

[The Large One]

My gripe is: who the f*** told Ed Norton or Sandra Bullock that they could act?

 

[pasty]

Agree totally about the jobs in EastEnders, nobody ever leaves there to work outside it, or (god forbid) go to University. Many of them don't even appear to have any jobs at all.

-Additionally, it's the law that all celebrations- wedding receptions, birthday parties, engagements, returns from foreign climes, even wakes, have to be held in the Vic, and catered by Ian Beale.

-Nobody, even the local GP, has a washing machine.

-There are never any guests staying in the B & B, apart from those who are regular cast members.

-they all shop in the Mini-Mart, nobody ever goes to a proper supermarket.

-younger residents of the Square always invite all the old gits who they hardly know to their parties/hen nights etc. As if someone like Zoe would invite Dot or Pat along.

And why if Eastenders is "so like real life", do you never hear Dot and Pauline talking about last nights Coronation Street ?

 

[Brovion]

And they never ask for a brand name beer... for obvious reasons but still unrealistic.

"A pint of non-descript please, barman"

They used to. In Eastenders the brewery that supplied the Queen Vic is/was Churchills, one character used to always ask for a "pint of Churchills". I think in Corrie it's Newton and Ridley.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

ONe other very basic fact for norro film viewrs.

LISTEN TO THE f***ing SOUNDTRACK>

If the music starts getting spooky. Stop. Turn around and go back from where you just came from.

so bloody simple its untrue.

 

[Beeneys gloves]

My gripe is: who the f*** told Ed Norton or Sandra Bullock that they could act?

Edward Norton is a class actor, can play any part.

Anyone tried singing yet?

 

[US Seagull]

I always used to wonder as a kid what was up with all those kids movies where a bunch of children manage to bring down a major crime ring. Why didn't the criminals just kill the kids and be done with it? They are supposed to be evil after all? And why are the criminals always smuggling diamonds or some such crap instead of drugs, guns or illegal immigrants?

 

[US Seagull]

And why in movies does everybody have these fancy custom written software on their computers that flash up boxes when they find the criminal in the database and other such nonsense. Doesn't anybody use Windows?

 

[Easy 10]

Computers in films are GREAT.
That one in Alien, where you can just type in:

"What are my chances ?"

and in a second it'll reply with a little percentage breakdown of your chances of survival. Fantastic !

 

[Giant Seagull]

showing traffic jams in films, why is everyone hooting the horn? is there anything more pointless?

and in other areas of associated television entertainment: when using a mobile the actors phone people up and its answered within 2 seconds. Everyone knows theres always a delay of atleast 5 seconds on mobiles before it actaully starts ringing!- let alone someone answering it!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Computers in films are GREAT.
That one in Alien, where you can just type in:

"What are my chances ?"

and in a second it'll reply with a little percentage breakdown of your chances of survival. Fantastic !

Computers in films never use programming language, it's a fact. They always use English. And 1 inch high green letters on the screen.

And passwords are always easily guessable by looking at the photograph of the user's children on the desk nearby.

 

[Everest]

In US films, the phone numbers always start 555.

(OK, I know the answer, but if they want it to be realistic they should use real phone numbers)

 

[Simster]

Talking of computers, the way Will Smith was able to pop a virus into the alien space ship computers in Independence Day was a touch of class and all very believable.

 

[Easy 10]

Talking of computers, the way Will Smith was able to pop a virus into the alien space ship computers in Independence Day was a touch of class and all very believable.

I'd completely forgotton about that Simster - you're right, that truley was a monumental milestone in cinematic history. Fly an alien spacecraft back to the mothership, and with nothing more than an Apple laptop, get a direct connection to an alien race's computer mainframe, and download a virus, which spreads instantly to all the other ships primed for attack.

GENIUS ! God, I'd LOVE to be a scriptwriter in america.

 

[Storer68]

If you watch Gone With The Wind carefully, you'll see several horses ride straight through a tree..................................

and in the "Ecape whilst Atlanta burns" sequence, a burning building falls straight onto Clark gable in true "gost" fashion, rides straight through it......

 

[somerset]

have you ever noticed, particularly in US films, that if threr is a scene on a plane, they nearly always travel in 1st Class.

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Oh I LOVE Independence Day!! The best bit is after the good ol' Yanks come up with the plan, fly up to the Alien space craft, stick a floppy disc in a laptop and download a virus into the alien computer system which knocks out their shields and then everybody shoots the little spaceships.
The Americans tell everyone around the world about this plan using morse code. The scene shifts to the desert where we see Iraqi and Israeli pilots lined up next to each other. Two "stiff upper lip" British pilots get the plan

"There's something coming through"
"What is it?"
"It's morse code. It's the Americans, they've come up with a plan"
"About bloody time! What do they want us to do?"

Classic! I would have pissed myself laughing if i'd got that "plan".

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"My God! The Americans have done it!"

 

[beorhthelm]

my niggle is how actors/ess open doors, especially in soaps. Ding-dong goes the doorbell, walk upto the door, and standing square to it, the door is opened wide in one swift movment. No open a little gap and peeking round to see if its a Baliff/local thug/person-you-just-fitted-up/axe murderer or anything, just assume its Dot or someone come round for a cup of tea.