Unreal things that happen in films

[coach03]

and in horror movies they say we have to stick together..... and then split up at the feeblest excuse...



Oh, and run UP to a roof from which there is no escape
Try the road, dimwits

 

[Gwylan]

One thing that always gets me about soaps is that a lot of plots seem to hinge on the fact that no-one has a mobile phone, or, if they do, they don't work for some reason. The most ludicrous was the Eastenders storyline where a party of teenagers crashed a minivan but couldn't call for help as no-one's mobile worked.

In films, why do so many women seem to sleep in bras? I know that it's because they don't want to show any nudity but that seems a strange compromise. And why do women seem to sleep in full make-up?

And why, when there's a car chase, is there always a busload of schoolkids who might be in danger - even if the chase takes place outside schoolrun time? And when the hero defuses a bomb why is there always a helpful ticker showing the coundown? And why can hackers get into a computer within seconds?

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Why do mirrors in films not reflect properly ? If we can see their reflection in the mirror from an angle what can they see ?

 

[Yorkie]

And why do women seem to sleep in full make-up?

And wake up in the morning, after having made love, without a single smudged eyelash and looking like they have spent 4 hours in a beauty salon?

 

[London Calling]

Why do leading women in films that wear glasses look absolutely stunning, especially after they done the letting the hair down thing and a quick shake but all other women with specs look totally nerdy and creepy.

Plus how come they all have gret orgasms, that last at least 10 minutes more than the normal one minute.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Plus how come they all have gret orgasms, that last at least 10 minutes more than the normal one minute.

Ten minutes isn't normal ?

 

[Sea]

Good thread.
Talking in cars. When someone is driving and talking to their passenger, they invariably turn and look right at them for AGES, happily chatting away. There's no fookin' way you can hold a conversation in a car while looking away from the road for the amount of time most actors seem to.

You've obviously not been in a car with the Full Harris then!

 

[FamilyGuy]

Whay are good-guys such good shots and bad-guys can't hit a barn door with a machine gun?

Why do all americans sleep with the curtains open?

Why is there always a parking space outside of the Town Hall/Court House when the guy with the last-minute reprieve/message needs to get through?

Where do you get those candles that illuminate an entire room?

Where do the women in old cowboy films get their hair done every day? and why/how do they shave under their arms even if they're on a Wagon Train?

Why does Norm never get drunk - or join the AA?

If there's a noise upstairs and you're in the house on your own - don't go up there !!

How does a credit card get you into a locked hotel room ?

How does one bullet wreck both sides of a lock on a strong door?

What's the boiling water for during the birth of the baby? (We've had 2 kids and the midwife didn't use any boiling water at all - amatuer!)

How come only people under the age of 16 can hack into computer systems for the FBI?

How come "6 guns" have more than 6 bullets?

Where is that restaurant that delivers your food within 90 seconds of you ordering it?

Why are alien races always about the same size as "earthlings"? Surely somewhere there's gonna be an intelligent-but-very-large/very-small culture (from an original idea in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)

Why doesn't anyone ever lock their car doors in movies?

Why is "English background"" always "London in the 1950's" in an american movie? (or a quaint little country village?)

In american movies, why do Brits always talk like they were educated at Eton?

Why does nobody say "f@ck me - a talking mouse, with clothes on" in Stuart Little?

I'm sure I can think of a lot more..........

 

[Gwylan]

And wake up in the morning, after having made love, without a single smudged eyelash and looking like they have spent 4 hours in a beauty salon?

That's the passion of American men for you

 

[Lady Whistledown]

When outnumbering a victim by at least ten to one, bad guys always attack the victim one at a time, resulting in them (eventually) all getting knocked out or kicked in the nads.

They never take the normal option of all kicking the crap out of the victim together, thus ensuring he has no chance to fight back.

Additionally, a single punch is always enough to knock a grown man out, as long as he's a bad guy.

 

[virgirlo]

Originally posted by Gwylan

One thing that always gets me about soaps is that a lot of plots seem to hinge on the fact that no-one has a mobile phone, or, if they do, they don't work for some reason.

And why does nobody get jobs in eastenders that are away from the market or square!!??

And why does everybody buy everything from the market, even classy (but really skanky) clothes from zoes stall

 

[Beeneys gloves]

One of my biggest gripes is that in musicals EVERYONE ALWAYS KNOWS THE WORDS TO THE SONG

Wherever you are sitting now, burst into song, go on I dare you, I bet you will be greeted with stony silence and strange looks. Not music coming on and everyone joining in with your little ditty whilst grinning at each other

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Agree totally about the jobs in EastEnders, nobody ever leaves there to work outside it, or (god forbid) go to University. Many of them don't even appear to have any jobs at all.

-Additionally, it's the law that all celebrations- wedding receptions, birthday parties, engagements, returns from foreign climes, even wakes, have to be held in the Vic, and catered by Ian Beale.

-Nobody, even the local GP, has a washing machine.

-There are never any guests staying in the B & B, apart from those who are regular cast members.

-they all shop in the Mini-Mart, nobody ever goes to a proper supermarket.

-younger residents of the Square always invite all the old gits who they hardly know to their parties/hen nights etc. As if someone like Zoe would invite Dot or Pat along.

 

[Beeneys gloves]

Also no-one every sneezes and has to run to the toilet with snot in their hands, has the shits, needs the toilet in the first place, rings a wrong number, catches their jumper in the door, or has the hiccups.

 

[virgirlo]

more eastenders crap

why doesn't sonia ever blow her nose and speak clearly!!!
why is sonia marrying the man who killed her fiance??

 

[Lady Whistledown]

And nobody in any soap EVER gets away with anything wrong.

Occasionally in life you have a secret (even if it's not bad) that you do manage to keep, that nobody ever finds out, and it doesn't matter.

But in a soap, people with dark secrets always feel the need to tell someone, typically someone who will without fail tell someone else, and thus comeuppance is not long behind.

 

[Easy 10]

In films, why is it a woman with a frying pan can knock a man unconcious with one blow to the back of the head ? The bloke always goes "woozy" with eyes staring up at the ceiling, before collapsing to the floor, out cold. Its bollocks. I've been whacked over the back of the head with a frying pan before, and it didn't make me unconcious. It just f***ing hurt.

 

[virgirlo]

more eastenders crap

why do the community of eastenders always jog round the square to get fit and then return to their homes covered in sweat??

why does every attractive woman fall for ugly phil mitchell?

why does sam look like a duck??

why are they getting robbie back on the show...returning in full indian dress!!!!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Furthermore in EastEnders- you can be an unqualified lap dancer, hooker, or worker in the caff one minute, and a top notch, hard nosed, successful business person the next (see Pat, Janine, Sam).

In Albert Square, people manage to move house regularly in no time at all. Never mind drawn out sagas with surveys, references, exchanging contracts etc, they all just pack up and move into the next place overnight.

How does Sonia ever pull anyone?

Why does the same police officer (Steve North) investigate every single Square incident?

Shit, it sounds like I actually watch the drivel that is EastEnders now....

 

[whitelion]

One thing that always gets me about soaps is that a lot of plots seem to hinge on the fact that no-one has a mobile phone, or, if they do, they don't work for some reason. The most ludicrous was the Eastenders storyline where a party of teenagers crashed a minivan but couldn't call for help as no-one's mobile worked.

Weren't they in the "middle-of nowhere" where there probably was no signal. I can't even get a decent signal in parts of our "City-by-the-Sea"