[Albion] Things which are not currently criminal offences but which absolutely should be

[KingKev]

Being a tourist during commuting hours (mainly applies to big cities).

The law should be that all tourists should be locked inside holding bays during the hours of 730-9.00am and 5.00-6.30pm.

Getting on a peak rush hour train from London with five kids and 9 suitcases headed for Gatwick and then moaning that there's no room for you to have a F&cking picnic for the kids' tea en route / glaring accusingly at others because no-one is giving up their seat for your tykes as you were the f&cking idiot that thought travelling between 5 and 6.30 out of London was a good idea. Cretins!!! Kill them.

Moaning that you're going to miss your flight because the airline didn't email you to remind you to a) check- in on-line and b) bring your b&stard passport, so you had to go back home and get said passport after arriving at the airport without that or a boarding card. Death by paper cuts administered by a Gareth Malone conducted choir singing a One Direction medley and accompanied by nuns playing the kazoo.

 

[The Brighton Bear]

Any agency that says "lessons will be learned" after screwing up yet again.

 

[Change at Barnham]

A goal kick being touched be a defender before going out of the 18 yard box and a retake of the goal kick being awarded.

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

People posting poems that are longer than a Stephen King novel






And are more horrific

 

[Guinness Boy]

Gareth Malone


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[Coalburner]

Re post #375/ I would have thought that wannabe children's entertainers was the definition for Cheggers (Keith Chegwyn), not Chuggers

 

[pearl]

Shops that claim they're 'saving the planet' by not issuing paper receipts so you give them your email address for them to bombard you with every f-ing special offer/sale/limited edition/you bought ..... so we think you'll love ..... etc.

death by paper shredder

 

[KingKev]

Anyone over the age of 17 riding a skateboard or one of those pathetic mini scooters at any time anywhere - 20 years hard labour; double it if they have a beard; capital punishment if they have two out of a beard, a beanie hat and a guitar on the them at the time.
Bar staff not having Some idea about who should be served next
Feeding gulls

 

[Garage_Doors]

Any commentator or pundit who refer to to a foul inside the box as a pen, no its not !
Its a Penalty ! a pen is where pigs live or a writing implement.

 

[Juan Albion]

People who indicate 67% of the way through changing lanes. What's the point?

 

[MattBackHome]

Ironically shouting "Come on Tim!" at an Andy Murray Wimbledon match.

Straight to the firing squad. Do not pass Go.

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[sams dad]

Calling the beautiful game "footy" or " footer".

 

[Titanic]

Get in the hole

 

[GT49er]

Could be wrong, but (Big Brother Pete aside) I'd say most Brighton chuggers are university or college students who have spare time in the week to hit the pavements.

You do realise that students don't get grants these days?

 

[biddles911]

Any agency that says "lessons will be learned" after screwing up yet again.

Closely followed by "we take this report very seriously and have already taken on board many of the recommendations made".

Despite the fact that most of them were bl**ding obvious anyway and the report took 5 years to complete!

Well, that's all right then.......


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[Peter Ward]

You'd better come for me now then.

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

Using the word, not that it's even a word, "holibob"

 

[Peter Ward]

Anyone who voted for Brexit.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Using the word, not that it's even a word, "holibob"

As bad as - Can I get?

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Calling the beautiful game "footy" or " footer".

Calling footy the beautiful game.

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