The Apprentice (series 11) - official thread

[Frutos]

This is no disrepect to plumbers but why would Al put his money into it ? Lovely and genuine fella Mr Valente but I just can't see it. The really interesting and exciting option is Yana's as if she nails it it could he huge albeit needing quick results ? I think Yana is an absolute guarantee

Her name is Vana.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Her name is Vana.

Oops

 

[Lord Bracknell]

The yank will win

Who's that? Vana is half Colombian and half Greek.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Who's that? Vana is half Colombian and half Greek.

Well if that is the case I have dropped a bollock then

 

[Pavilionaire]

As usual, The Apprentice reaches interview stage and turns into a very bad episode of Dragon's Den.

Gary's business plan was a joke - a mobile disco with an app for those wishing to attend stag parties by proxy?! Charlene's hairdressing franchise was naive, a complete non-starter, so bad she even got the chop before Gary.

Richard was attempting to replicate the exact same business he currently has with his brother and even he realised it was a sh1t idea.

So that leaves the plumbing business and the Play date app. Sugar seems less than enthusiastic about getting involved in plumbing, and only Christ knows how Joseph will pitch that idea to the business equivalent of the 02 Arena. And after the Ashley Madison fiasco why would Sugar want to get involved with a dating site?

 

[Pavilionaire]

Well if that is the case I have dropped a bollock then

Wrong name, wrong nationality. You do know she's the one with the tits, right?

 

[knocky1]

Who's that? Vana is half Colombian and half Greek.

Is that a nationality though? She was born and educated in New York. Her mum from Cali, Colombia and dad from Kalamata, Greece. She's a yank for me.
Not wishing to go down the Orlando is Spanish or Italian route or Cliff Richard is Indian.......

 

[Frutos]

Not wishing to go down the Orlando is Spanish or Italian route or Cliff Richard is Indian.......

Orlando is in Florida, so definitely American.

 

[scamander]

the two best bits of any show are the opening task announcement and the prize for winning it. This series they have run out of ideas or funds and the task announcement has no bearing on where it takes place.

"We're here, in the 'istoric Carnaby street which was the centre of British fashion in the 60s. These days the fashun industry is worf billions"

pause and scan across contestants looking expectant

"I want you to set up and run a cycle repair shop in Brixton. Karen you're with Team Cantaddup and Claude you're with Team Bungle".

in the boardroom.

"Congratulations Team Bungle. As a reward I've laid on an exclusive drive thru experience at McDonalds".

shot of Team Bungle celebrating with high fives and hugs.
Cut to team in a limo eating fries whilst wearing Hamburgler Hats

 

[Simster]

As usual, The Apprentice reaches interview stage and turns into a very bad episode of Dragon's Den.

Gary's business plan was a joke - a mobile disco with an app for those wishing to attend stag parties by proxy?! Charlene's hairdressing franchise was naive, a complete non-starter, so bad she even got the chop before Gary.

Richard was attempting to replicate the exact same business he currently has with his brother and even he realised it was a sh1t idea.

So that leaves the plumbing business and the Play date app. Sugar seems less than enthusiastic about getting involved in plumbing, and only Christ knows how Joseph will pitch that idea to the business equivalent of the 02 Arena. And after the Ashley Madison fiasco why would Sugar want to get involved with a dating site?

Exactly how I saw it. It's high time The Apprentice actually vetted business plans before the series actually starts. The only one I can see being successful is the plumbing one. The fact that the dating app is the clear second best alternative says it all, and that has absolutely no chance of succeeding.

However, I assume the programme makers don't really care about the quality of the business venture because presumably the £250k on offer is paid for by the profit made by selling the show to the BBC and others. But honestly, if that woman wins, Sugar would have more chance of seeing a return on his £250k by throwing it on the fire, in the form of bank notes.

 

[scamander]

Exactly how I saw it. It's high time The Apprentice actually vetted business plans before the series actually starts. The only one I can see being successful is the plumbing one. The fact that the dating app is the clear second best alternative says it all, and that has absolutely no chance of succeeding.

However, I assume the programme makers don't really care about the quality of the business venture because presumably the £250k on offer is paid for by the profit made by selling the show to the BBC and others. But honestly, if that woman wins, Sugar would have more chance of seeing a return on his £250k by throwing it on the fire, in the form of bank notes.

The Apprentice is to business what It's a Knockout is to the the British Athletics Team. It's just entertaining TV.

 

[Blue Valkyrie]

The dating app is a woeful idea. Will cost far too much, it's a gimmick and very few would be interested unless it was free, with minimal adverts.

Millions down the drain in development and ongoing high profile advertising.

At least he'd be almost certain of a modest profit with the plumber.

 

[Simster]

The Apprentice is to business what It's a Knockout is to the the British Athletics Team. It's just entertaining TV.

Correct, and I don't have a problem with that. It's just the lack of integrity I find annoying. Continuing your analogy, it's like taking "It's a Knockout" for what it is, but then finding at the end of the show that one of the teams was had lead put inside all it's silly costumes, and thus had no chance of winning anyway.

 

[Bozza]

It's high time The Apprentice actually vetted business plans before the series actually starts.

Do you really think they don't?

I have no idea, but I can't believe that no consideration is given to them.

 

[Simster]

Do you really think they don't?

I have no idea, but I can't believe that no consideration is given to them.

That's right, I really believe they don't. Well they might ask "does your business plan involve illegal narcotics or porn?" but I reckon that is the extent of the vetting process, and it's probably conducted by TV researchers rather than Sugar and his captain of industry business chums.

 

[footychick]

Linda plant looks animal

I was expecting Linda La Plant

 

[Codner pharmaceuticals]

Recipe for Karen Brady approach to business insight seems to be
- repeat one word you have just heard in a sarcastic manner
- pull a Kenneth Williams on botox face

 

[Pavilionaire]

The bit I'm looking forward to is how Joseph is going to sell the dream to his massive audience of expanding Impra-Gas Ltd from his Peterborough base to Cambridge, Grantham and - who knows - maybe even Northampton!

 

[Simster]

The bit I'm looking forward to is how Joseph is going to sell the dream to his massive audience of expanding Impra-Gas Ltd from his Peterborough base to Cambridge, Grantham and - who knows - maybe even Northampton!

It's been done before - Pimlico plumbers are all over London and parts of the South East. I think with a shortage of skilled plumbers, he could be onto something.

 

[Pavilionaire]

It's been done before - Pimlico plumbers are all over London and parts of the South East. I think with a shortage of skilled plumbers, he could be onto something.

I'm don't dispute that the business could be successful but the concept of expanding a plumbing business into The Wash and surrounding areas is not one that makes for captivating TV.