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Some people need to take a chill pill



pocketseagull

Well-known member
Dec 29, 2014
1,360
I'm offended by the term "cisgender" - it seems to be a slur created to marginalise anyone outside of the transgender community.

I don't mind what people describe themselves as or how they live their lives, but I don't expect others to start making up words to describe me. I don't identify as 'cisgender' and I don't agree that the term is accurate or useful, so of course it is offensive just as it would be offensive to be described as anything else that is inaccurate or unuseful.

If the transgender community wants to describe people outside of the transgender community, there are already words to describe that - for example "men and woman outside of the transgender community". Far less offensive and still recognises men and women outside of the transgender community, rather than lumping them all into a single slur.

Does it help for you to learn that the word was coined by a cisgender man?
 




Nitram

Well-known member
Jul 16, 2013
2,268
I’ve always thought the term ladies and gentleman rather old fashioned, and for a person to use it professionally and not be aware of this and how the world has changed seems at best ignorant and worse case provocative. Seems a lot of people have to hang on to the past and keep entrenched views.
Substituting ‘everyone’ for ladies and gentleman is not a big deal. Sticking up for the use of this when understanding how it can offend betrays the mindset of that person.
 




Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,324
Living In a Box
If this was my business I would find it incredibly unprofessional to put details of a private agreement on a public internet forum.
 








nickbrighton

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2016
2,143
I'm offended by the term "cisgender" - it seems to be a slur created to marginalise anyone outside of the transgender community.

I don't mind what people describe themselves as or how they live their lives, but I don't expect others to start making up words to describe me. I don't identify as 'cisgender' and I don't agree that the term is accurate or useful, so of course it is offensive just as it would be offensive to be described as anything else that is inaccurate or unuseful.

If the transgender community wants to describe people outside of the transgender community, there are already words to describe that - for example "men and woman outside of the transgender community". Far less offensive and still recognises men and women outside of the transgender community, rather than lumping them all into a single slur.

Before posting about this, perhaps you should look up what the word means, and where it derives from, rather than be offended by something which you obviously know nothing about

In what way is the following a "slur"?


cisgender
/sɪsˈdʒɛndə/
adjective
adjective: cis-gender
denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.
"this new-found attention to the plight of black trans folks by primarily cisgender allies is timely and necessary"
Definitions from Oxford Languages


Cisgender has its origin in the Latin-derived prefix cis-, meaning 'on this side of', which is the opposite of trans-, meaning 'across from' or 'on the other ...
 


bhanutz

Well-known member
Aug 23, 2005
5,999
I’ve always thought the term ladies and gentleman rather old fashioned, and for a person to use it professionally and not be aware of this and how the world has changed seems at best ignorant and worse case provocative. Seems a lot of people have to hang on to the past and keep entrenched views.
Substituting ‘everyone’ for ladies and gentleman is not a big deal. Sticking up for the use of this when understanding how it can offend betrays the mindset of that person.

Dont be a lemon
 




bluenitsuj

Listen to me!!!
Feb 26, 2011
4,739
Willingdon
Apologies if I have offended anyone, my point was, and apologies if it hadn't come across in the correct way, is that there are far more important things to get upset about than not being addressed as a non binary at a funeral.

IMHO, I don't think the non binary person should have said anything, it wasn't the time or the place, to speak to the Celebrant (non religious minister) like that was totally inappropriate.

No need to apologise. Seems there are a few woke snowflakes on here that are offended. Ignore them.
 










Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
25,513
Worthing
Ladies and gentlemen should really cover it.
 


Deadly Danson

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Oct 22, 2003
4,615
Brighton
No need to apologise. Seems there are a few woke snowflakes on here that are offended. Ignore them.

If I read one more utter halfwit use the word woke as an insult to cover their lack of compassion and intelligence I swear I'm going to go mad.
Surely the answer here (as it was the last time it was discussed) is the person who had an issue with the word should have a quiet word and the person using "Ladies and Gentlemen" might try and use "Everyone" next time to perhaps make other feel more included. Having always used Ladies and Gentlemen in my announcements I do now try to use Everyone. If it makes people feel more included then I'm happy to try and adapt.
And yes totally unprofessional and provocative of the OP to raise the issue here.
 




NooBHA

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2015
8,592
I have a solution to this without making it all political.
In the future just say.

Good Afternoon to all of you in attendance here in the Crematorium and to anyone else in attendance remotely" as I think you can attend funerals on line as well now

That should cover it I would have thought.
 


Baker lite

Banned
Mar 16, 2017
6,309
in my house
Apologies if I have offended anyone, my point was, and apologies if it hadn't come across in the correct way, is that there are far more important things to get upset about than not being addressed as a non binary at a funeral.

IMHO, I don't think the non binary person should have said anything, it wasn't the time or the place, to speak to the Celebrant (non religious minister) like that was totally inappropriate.

No need to apologise.
 


shingle

Well-known member
Jan 18, 2004
3,224
Lewes
The world's gone barmy, some people need some time in Egypt or Ethiopia or India or a hundred other countries to see what really matters, putting food on the table, roof over your head. What a luxury to be able to call out a celebrant at someone's funeral.

No ill will from me towards trans or non binary people btw.
 


jcdenton08

Offended Liver Sausage
NSC Patron
Oct 17, 2008
14,563
Blimey, even doing a speech at a wedding a decade ago I used "ladies, gentlemen and distinguished guests". Not hard is it really. You know, to keep up.

I find that very offensive.

I don't recognise my gender identity as a female or male, and the use of the word "distinguished" has sexist connotations, due to its patriarchal overtones.

If you send that in front of me, I'd turn over the nearest the table and storm out, you hate-filled, homophobic, transphobic, sexist boomer.
 






nickbrighton

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2016
2,143
Can you not see the absolute hypocrisy that you are dictating to me what I should and shouldn't be getting offended about?

I don't want to be descibed as cisgender. I find it offensive. Isn't that enough?

thats like a straight person complaining about being described as heterosexual- but if you want to be offended you go right ahead, dont let anyone stop you
 


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