[Humour] Smart arse jokes

[Dick Swiveller]

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "Can I have a glass of H2O?" The second chemist says, "Can I have a glass of water, too?" The first chemist breaks down in tears — his assassination attempt has failed.


Or


Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint. The phone rings and he jumps up shouting, "Oh s---, I forgot to feed the dog!

That first one took me a while although chemistry was never my strong point. Might just have wanted to bleach their hair though.