Number 1 will be sorted for sure , i have seen Tays outfit and the little hairs on my arm and neck responded as if i was watching the Ben Gardners boat scene in Jaws for the very 1st time .
If you could bring any incredibly hot girls along to look upset while wearing team colours you are guaranteed airtime.
See:
F Off!
Either that, or be with a kid who is even more distraught than the 'parent'. I say 'parent' because borrowing a child for this purpose is acceptable if you don't have your own.
If you do go down the kid route though, they do HAVE to cry. Lots. Ideally with face paint on.
Where is the Reading fan that volunteered?