Rubbish Jokes

[Garage_Doors]

Went to the railway station the other day and asked for a return ticket. Where to he asked ? back here you pratt i told him

 

[The Timekeeper]

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?

Do you finkhesawus.

What do you call a one eyed dinosaurs dog

Do you finkhesawusrex.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Walked in the butchers shop with a bucket the other day, said can i have a pound a fillet please? he said i 'll have a pound you don't ?

 

[Garage_Doors]

Guy tapped on my window at the traffic light and asked if i could give him a lift,
sure i said, your young, you you look great the worlds your oyster.

 

[Badger]

2 Peanuts walking down a road, one was a salted

 

[Garage_Doors]

What do you call a bloke with 3 wooden heads,


Edward Woodward

 

[Brovion]

A lorry load of wigs was stolen from outside Marks and Spencers last night. Police are combing the area.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

Did you hear about the man who crossed an alcoholic woman with a tiger? It talked a lot of rubbish but by heck you listened.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Paddys wife had twins, bought a shotgun to look for the other father.

 

[Garage_Doors]

What does an Essex girl say after sex ?

do you all play for the same team ?

 

[Garage_Doors]

Two old ladies laying on a beach when a streaker ran passed, one had a stroke, and the other one missed.

 

[Garage_Doors]

What you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through a hosepipe ?

Darling

 

[Garage_Doors]

Someone broke into the police station last night and stole the toilets,

Police say they got nothing to go on.

 

[Garage_Doors]

A big hole appeared at the bottom of Edward street last night.
Police say they are looking into it.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Police arrested two boys yesterday, one was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.

They charged one and the let the other on off

 

[Barnet Seagull]

How do you get one hundred Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

:winner:

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Last night I had a dream I ate a pillow, and when I woke up, my giant marshmallow had gone..

 

[Taybha]

I went to the doctors the other day,doc i feel like a pair of curtains!! he stared at me and said stop being a pussy and pull yaself together man

 

[Trufflehound]

I went to the doctor's the other day. I said: "Doctor, I can never remember the punchline to any jokes."

 

[Lokki 7]

A man walks into the doctors wearing nothing but a pair of clingfilm underpants.
Doctor says, "I can clearly see your nuts".

 

[Flavor Flav]

which bee creates milk?


A BOOBEE