[Misc] Public toilet pooing

[kalinx]

Was discussing with mates and thought it needed airing on nsc.

When defecating in a public toilet, do you

1. flush and then push so noone hears the musical noises
2. leave a landing pad of paper so noone hears the thud
3. before sitting on the throne, leave a bed of paper so not to touch plastic
4. all of above

If other, please list

 

[Justice]

Shit on the floor (Croydon)

 

[BN9 BHA]

Another shit thread.

 

[Weststander]

5. Hover above, so no contact.

(Train toilets are the most disgusting).

 

[marlowe]

Was discussing with mates and thought it needed airing on nsc.

When defecating in a public toilet, do you

1. flush and then push so noone hears the musical noises
2. leave a landing pad of paper so noone hears the thud
3. before sitting on the throne, leave a bed of paper so not to touch plastic
4. all of above

If other, please list

Why is Noone hovering outside public toilets? He should be concentrating on trying to ensure Bolton maintain their Championship status.

 

[Gwylan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnbBqIeENgA

 

[pastafarian]

Smear it all over, do a runner, blame someone else
see CPFC

 

[Return of the Rev]

6 Don't use public toilets for such things.

 

[arewethereyet?]

What a crap thread.

 

[Petunia]

Was discussing with mates and thought it needed airing on nsc.

When defecating in a public toilet, do you

1. flush and then push so noone hears the musical noises
2. leave a landing pad of paper so noone hears the thud
3. before sitting on the throne, leave a bed of paper so not to touch plastic
4. all of above

If other, please list

Less than an average of 9 posts a year and you start a thread on crapping in a public loo

Love it

 

[Durlston]

Make as much noise as possible with groans of "Oh, my piles!" before each wipe is getting louder.

If your boss was to be in the room while defecating then you have a ready-made excuse for a sickie. Bingo!

Paper round the plastic seat as well.

 

[DavidRyder]

2 & 3. I'm not sitting on a throne with my bare botty regardless of how clean it looks.

 

[sydney]

i have a monday morning ritual in the builders yard i frequent..........complete clear out sans flush......it's the least they deserve. pubs , nightclubs , casinos its a stand on the seat or hover depending on alcohol intake ....restaurants i normal take my chances ....unless its Chinese , Turkish or Moroccan in which case i stand on the seat like every other punter.

 

[GT49er]

Just consider yourself bloody lucky to find a public loo still open.

 

[Weststander]

Wait there in silence until everyone has vacated the room and then do your business how you please.

Then hear foot steps from a quiet person who’d been there all along.

 

[jonnyrovers]

Wait there in silence until everyone has vacated the room and then do your business how you please.

I was once pissing in the urinal of a completely silent pub toilet when a voice came from the cubicle:

‘Do me a favour mate’

‘What?’

‘Hit the hand drier.’

His wish was granted.

 

[marcos3263]

As I get older I get less concerned by such matters. we all shit. Even the pretty ones.

Go to Sainsburys and you will see very attractive women with a 12 roll pack under their arms - thats cos they shit as well.

So as long as its clean I will happily poo anywhere.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I followed foul-mouthed wing-legend John Robinson into a toilet a number of years ago. And more recently Ralph Fiennes. On each occasion i have wee-ed a little near them. The next celebrity i see entering a bathroom i intend to accompany with a loud and raucous ploppage, with an audible mutter of Your Majesty as each parcel falls.

 

[pearl]

Urine (your own) is a natural anti-septic

That is all I'll contribute to this thread

 

[sydney]

I followed foul-mouthed wing-legend John Robinson into a toilet a number of years ago. And more recently Ralph Fiennes. On each occasion i have wee-ed a little near them. The next celebrity i see entering a bathroom i intend to accompany with a loud and raucous ploppage, with an audible mutter of Your Majesty as each parcel falls.

parcel.....?? nugget shirley ...?? clinker...??