Popular sayings you just don't understand

[jonny.rainbow]

"You can't polish a turd."

Can't you? How do they know? Has anyone, ever, actually TRIED this?

I've seen fossilised droppings in a museum that were so solid, you could easily have got an impressive shine, using only a minimal amount of Mr Sheen.

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

It's a game of two halves...... yes...... and ?

 

[Johnny Crumplin Football]

As brave as a Lion. Please tell me exactly how lions are brave when they only go hunting in packs (ooh that's really brave isn't it) and will only tackle ''hard'' prey when they are starving.

 

[Easy 10]

Yeah. And they run like f*** when they hear a rifle go off.

 

[The Wookiee]

On the lamb

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Two Scottish variants:

- 'I didnae come up the canal on a bicycle' (translation: 'I wasn't born yesterday')
- 'I'll take my hand off your face' (translation: 'I'll give you a slap')

Me no understand

 

[Moshe Gariani]

"I can't do right for doing wrong" as a justification for some course of well intentioned but unhelpful/annoying/pointless action...

how does that work?

 

[Easy 10]

"I'm absolutely chuffed to bits"

- what, you were hit by a steamtrain ?

 

[Norman Potting]

"Gordon Bennet"

"Early Doors"

"Crystal Palace"

 

[SJ's Love Monkey]

The last one no Brighton fan would understand mate, you were probably just a twitch in your old man's Y-fronts when we played each other more than twice every 10 years!

 

[perth seagull]

When someone threatens violence and says "I'll knock your block off". Which part of the human anatomy is a "block"?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

When the away team 'set their stall out'. Is this a reference to Gillingham setting up a car boot sale in the Withdean car park?