[News] New office speek bowlocks

[Dave the OAP]

Had a new one this morning

....we will be joined by vikram xxxxxx who is a innovator and “ thought leader”

Thought leader....FFS

 

[schmunk]

Had a new one this morning

....we will be joined by vikram xxxxxx who is a innovator and “ thought leader”

Thought leader....FFS

It is bollocks, but it's not new bollocks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_leader

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

It is bollocks, but it's not new bollocks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_leader

According to that link, 'thought leaders' are often asked to speak at 'webinars'

 

[Diablo]

It is bollocks, but it's not new bollocks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_leader

I have also been deep in thought re "Thought Leader" and like yourself the word that is coming into my head is also Bollocks.

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Had the pleasure of speaking to a Client Onboarding Executive the other day about "Hot Housing" a project. Apparently ducks needed to be in a row as well.

 

[Dave the OAP]

I have been invited to a “webinar” where I have asked to “ clear my mind of all preconceptions and provide zen thinking and high level patterns to measure digital workflows on a multi tenanted platform...”

I despair

According to that link, 'thought leaders' are often asked to speak at 'webinars'

 

[Nottseagull]

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

You ridicule that yet you use 'project brief' yourself

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I have been invited to a “webinar” where I have asked to “ clear my mind of all preconceptions and provide zen thinking and high level patterns to measure digital workflows on a multi tenanted platform...”

Well see that you do then

Have you tried explaining that you're from planet earth?

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

Had the pleasure of speaking to a Client Onboarding Executive the other day about "Hot Housing" a project. Apparently ducks needed to be in a row as well.

That kind of talk makes me super excited...

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Wonder whatever happened to NSC's very own thought leader [MENTION=2159]Digweeds Trousers[/MENTION]?

 

[Dave the OAP]

You ridicule that yet you use 'project brief' yourself

What?

 

[Dave the OAP]

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

View attachment 114906

ha ha ha

 

[Nottseagull]

What?

Inexplicably, my post was displayed before the one I was replying to (I expected it to appear directly underneath so didn't use the quote, which I subsequently added).
It's the second oddity I've mentioned in the last couple of days so possibly a minor concern for Bozza?

 

[Bakero]

A company I work for was recently bought out/merged, which has released a wave of corporabollocks, such as the appointment of 'engagement champions'. Every member of staff from directors to cleaners has had to attend a 3 hour workshop on 'enhancing the customer experience journey' in which one learns that everyone is a customer- from the postman, to the HR manager to the IT bods. Also, the primary objective of the business is not to make profit but to 'provide exceptional customer experiences' . This has all come against the backdrop of redundancies, cutbacks and a general pissing everybody off.

 

[maltaseagull]

https://www.scrumassembly.org/?gcli...jwEJrbWli4u57aLjuRq8xXSrIBEEIOoBoCLr0QAvD_BwE

I thought scrums were in rugby!

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I'm retired now, so has everyone stopped pushing the envelope (how quaint) and blue sky thinking?

 

[Dave the OAP]

There is a site called modern toss......the best for this sort of stuff

I’ll find the link

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

A company I work for was recently bought out/merged, which has released a wave of corporabollocks, such as the appointment of 'engagement champions'.

Wondered how long it would be before 'champions' got a mention. Where I worked people were anointed 'champions' to do the shit jobs nobody else wanted to do. Paper jam? Seek ye out thee Photocopier Champion.

 

[Dave the OAP]

We have all wanted to say this in “ brainstorming “ meetings