[News] New office speek bowlocks

[BLOCK F]

Just read this......

My company have said that they are no longer allowed to use the phrase “ brain storm” as it might have negative connotations associated with fits and epilepsy. It must be replaced with “ thought showers” .

F--k me gently!

 

[Wrong-Direction]

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Sent from my SM-A600FN using Tapatalk

 

[studio150]

View attachment 114915

Thanks, this has certainly brightened up my afternoon.

 

[Beach Hut]

Do I not miss work......

 

[Badger]

Just read this......

My company have said that they are no longer allowed to use the phrase “ brain storm” as it might have negative connotations associated with fits and epilepsy. It must be replaced with “ thought showers” .

You could probably replace it with another type of shower.

 

[Sirnormangall]

This thread and the posters would make a wonderful contribution to the long-standing Bell Cheeses thread.

 

[spongy]

So glad I don't work in an office. I work in a factory with straight talking people. No bullshit. If someone uses a bell cheese term they're told to **** off and come back when they can speak english. Even the boss got told to do one today for being a nob.

 

[Super Steve Earle]

Just read this......

My company have said that they are no longer allowed to use the phrase “ brain storm” as it might have negative connotations associated with fits and epilepsy. It must be replaced with “ thought showers” .

Guessing your company is a little slow keeping up with the times. My old company kicked out brainstorming many years ago for that reason.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

Translation - No, no everyone is not valued, or respected. You might have a say, but it will be ignored because you are not worthy to breath the same air. You are not an asset or a resource. You are an unwelcome cost.

Please get lost....

(nothing personal)

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

I was at a construction meeting recently and the project was described as a 'hot mess'. Not heard that before, but apparently used for some time in the States.

Have people been using it in the UK ? - if not it's probably on the way.

My other question - is this worse than a SNAFU, or a FUBAR or a Clusterf*** ?

 

[BLOCK F]

Just read this......

My company have said that they are no longer allowed to use the phrase “ brain storm” as it might have negative connotations associated with fits and epilepsy. It must be replaced with “ thought showers” .

Hmm, 'thought showers'.
Possible connotations with water on the brain or maybe incontinence!
I'm offended!

 

[Barham's tash]

Not another thread about Project Management.

I’ve spent six hours on conference calls with tonnes of the cock wombles [apologies to any on here] today and want to pull out my eyes with a fish fork.

 

[Dave the OAP]

No it was a quote on a web site for work bullshit

Ours have moved towards more subtle crap which is more aimed at the upper echelons of the company. Us Trekkies just abuse each other in the Anglo Saxon way

Guessing your company is a little slow keeping up with the times. My old company kicked out brainstorming many years ago for that reason.

 

[theboybilly]

Had the pleasure of speaking to a Client Onboarding Executive the other day about "Hot Housing" a project. Apparently ducks needed to be in a row as well.

Has he given himself that title so that he can tell everybody who's none the wiser he's a proper COE?

 

[BN9 BHA]

I was at a construction meeting recently and the project was described as a 'hot mess'. Not heard that before,

Probably used buy someone that has never lifted a tool in their working life.

I used to work on sites and everyone spoke plain English, and swore a lot of course.

 

[Surf's Up]

Hmm, 'thought showers'.
Possible connotations with water on the brain or maybe incontinence!
I'm offended!

or could well lead to an unpleasant bout of aquagenic urticaria!!!

 

[ac gull]

snorkelling in the think tank of opportunity

 

[Sheebo]

Without reading through the whole thread, has anyone mentioned ‘social media influencer’ aaaaaahhhh just aaaahhhhh

 

[zefarelly]

Yep - but it still sickens me to get involved in one. Especially as I did an introduction to PRINCE years ago and the instructor talked about PINO - PRINCE In Name Only. Boy was that ever true and sums up most of the guff people have mentioned on here. Basically it is where people throw around PRINCE terms and pronounce it as a PRINCE project. Despite not doing most, or indeed any, of the principles of PRINCE.

Having worked in 'projects' over the years I was warned, sorry, 'advised' Prince was the thing and I might consider a course to get 'on board' with certain groups.

Despite virtual unemployment and abject poverty, I remain sane, as I ever was, and haven't killed anyone in the workplace.

 

[zefarelly]

Has he given himself that title so that he can tell everybody who's none the wiser he's a proper COE?

If anyone called me Coe, I'd automatically assume something to do with a fascist dwarf runner, take immediate offence and possibly sacrifice a prized rotring long reach compass deep into an eye socket. If I was in the office.