National Limerick Day

[Biscuit]

Today is National Limerick day - do your worst!



There was a young manager called Gus,

Whoms transfers he wouldn't discuss,

The old wood he removed

Our performance improved,

Now he waves the trophy from a bus.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Today is National Limerick day - do your worst!

Well you certainly have!

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The was a Uruguayan named Gus,
he invited us onto his bus.
No more in the air,
with a great touch of flair,
but still there are some who will cuss.

 

[The Ringleader Returns!]

There once was man called Orange
Nobody ever wrote a Limerick about him because nothing rhymes with Orange.

 

[dingodan]

There once was a man called Gustavo
His flair brought some Seagull brovado
Now we've conquered league 1
And the seasons been fun
We march on to the Amex-iado

 

[Postman Pat]

We have a great striker called Glenn
who has had a huff now and then
now he's scoring for fun
and he's won us league one
now sign the contract, here's a pen.

 

[Acker79]

'Gus poyay my lord' sung with great might
when they do my teeth I clench tight
it's gustavo poyet
it rhymes with courgette
why oh why can't they all get it right?!

 

[robbie c]

There once was a guy called Nigel
whose bullshit was more than a mouthful
"my team are the best
forget about the rest"
but he couldn't keep up with the Seagulls

 

[Mutts Nuts]

There was a young vampire called Mable

Who's periods were very unstable,

Every full moon

She would stick in a spoon

And drink herself under the table

 

[banjo]

There was a young girl from Rabat,

who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;

It was fun in the breeding,

But hell in the feeding,

When she found she had no tit for Tat.

 

[Frutos]

There once was a man from Nantucket....

 

[Mutts Nuts]

There once was a man from Nantucket....

Twice daily he wanked into a bucket

?

 

[banjo]

Twice daily he wanked into a bucket

?

He milked himself dry ?

 

[half time scores]

Their was a young man from Kew
Who couldn't think of anything after line two.....

 

[Sussex on Leith]

He milked himself dry ?

Wiped the dregs from his thigh

 

[Mutts Nuts]

He milked himself dry ?

Which made his wife cry

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

there was a young man from dundee
who got stung on the neck by a wasp
when asked 'did it hurt?'
he said 'no, not much'
'it can do it again if it likes'

 

[Lady Whistledown]

There was an old man from Devizes
Who had bollocks of two different sizes
The left was so small
It was barely a ball
While the other won numerous prizes.

Can't ever pass a sign for Devizes without remembering that

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Which made his wife cry

She thought to herself, why won't he f*** it?

 

[banjo]

Wiped the dregs from his thigh

Which made his wife cry

Now he's balls are all shrivelled and dry. Boom Boom !