[Humour] Names you give people, as a term of endearment.

[AmexRuislip]

Up our allotment, we have all walks of life and characters, who through different ways are begging to be given a nick name, only in my wife and myselfs world of humour

For instance there is a person who does not stop talking, even coming up for air is a novelty for them:
the talking head.

One person arrived on the allotment a few years back, hadn't been there that long, and started to spew the intricate rules of the RHS:
RHS Liz.

We have several Daves on the plot:
digger Dave(likes planting potatos), builder Dave(talks to you like he's on a building site), my David(who's never there) & Bear Grylls dave(who saves newts from the HS2).

A lady who walks from one end of the plot to the other, as if she's a listing ship:
the wobbly lady.

An 80+ ex college lecturer: professor plum.

A Russian couple: the Russians.

I could go on, but I'd be giving too much away

How about you

 

[Frankie]

I know a bloke call Paul who calls everyone Customer, strange but true.

 

[el punal]

What goes on in the potting shed, stays in the potting shed.

 

[crodonilson]

I call my friend Dirty Barry, because he’s dirty and his name’s Barry.

 

[el punal]

Years ago when I worked in a wine merchants (posh off-licence!) we had a relief manager. The phone rang which I answered.
“ Is Denis the Whistling Biscuit Eater there?”. Denis, of course, was the name of our relief manager. When it was time for tea the nickname became apparent - Denis started whistling as he opened up his packet of biscuits. Cool story eh, bro?

 

[Questions]

We have a bricklayer we know called Paul the C..unt.
It’s the perfect nickname for the prick.

 

[Taybha]

We have a bricklayer we know called Paul the C..unt.
How do you think he got that nickname ?

Because he lays bricks?

 

[RossyG]

Pete the pig shagger.

 

[Goldstone1976]

I call my best mate Brother Arnold because there's something of the monk about him.

I have a female friend who likes being called kitkat, for the reason you know. Why she likes being called it is beyond me, but I can't bring myself to do it.

I like to call Paul Barber #BarberOut because I am easily amused.

 

[Icy Gull]

I know a guy with the surname O’Shea, we call him Rick

My postman calls me “Boss” for some unexplained reason ( and no I’m not some fat Duke’s of Hazard lookalike)

 

[Dave the OAP]

As a term of endearment, I call you all soft southern shandy drinking, blouse wearing poofs!

Even the fellow think northern monkeys on here too!

 

[Beach Hut]

Someone told me Jurgen Klopp has a son called Clip

 

[RossyG]

We have a bricklayer we know called Paul the C..unt.
How do you think he got that nickname ?

Did he not get the word Chaunt in a crossword despite having four letters?

 

[Dave the OAP]

I used to call Martin perry obergruppenfuhrer but I understand some people think that is offensive as they are snowflakes, so I don’t do that anymore...I call him beardo now

 

[jakarta]

One of our neighbours waves EXTREMELY vigorously to us when we drive past his house so in Vic & Bob Style he is now Wavey Davey although he is actually called John...

 

[el punal]

When I was about 17 I was at college doing a hotel and catering course. As was the norm in those days most of us students got holiday jobs. My mate managed to snaffle a job working for a potato merchant - that is, being the driver’s mate delivering potatoes to all the chip shops in and around Brighton.

One day out on the rounds the driver stops the lorry and tells my mate that he’s off to see Wanker Lil and that he won’t be long. What does Wanker Lil do? Asked my mate innocently. It’s all in the name replied the driver.

 

[Deleted member 2719]

I call my best mate Brother Arnold because there's something of the monk about him.

I have a female friend who likes being called kitkat, for the reason you know. Why she likes being called it is beyond me, but I can't bring myself to do it.

I like to call Paul Barber #BarberOut because I am easily amused.

Sounds like she was into her confectionery much like my friend, who we called 'sweet fanny Adams' let's just say she used to like a creme egg or two!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Someone told me Jurgen Klopp has a son called Clip

And of course Martin 'I am not finding this funny' Jol has his legendary brothers Dick and Cock

 

[Questions]

Our next door neighbours are Rose West on one side and Munchie the Munchkin on the other.

 

[el punal]

A girl I worked with had a bit of a reputation for, shall we say, being a bit promiscuous. She was called ‘Miss Martini’ as in - “Anytime, any place, anywhere.”