Mental health. Please talk to others.

[spongy]

And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.

 

[dazzer6666]

And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.

So sorry about your pal, desperate stuff. A close family member took their own life a couple of years ago - barely a day goes by when I don't think about what we could have done differently, what we should have recognised etc.

 

[ofco8]

Sorry to hear that.
We are going through major mental health problems with my sister in law at present. She did go into a private hospital for a few weeks but was useless and a rip off.
So we are all doing our best, together with her psychiatrist, to get her back together. Could be a very long journey.

 

[Two Professors]

Sorry to hear of your loss.Mental health definitely needs a massive investment from somewhere.It seems to be getting worse,particularly in the South-East.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Try not to be too hard on yourself, as you say, if you'd realised the severity of the situation you'd have done more, we've all been in a similar situation at one time or another. I hope you have someone you can sit down with and talk this through, sounds to me like that would be a good idea? Raising awareness, as you have, and trying to help others is a good way of ensuring that others will look out for the signs and good can come from what must be an awful time and situation. Please do sit and chat with someone.

 

[Ninja Elephant]

Sorry for your loss [MENTION=20792]spongy[/MENTION], don't be too hard on yourself though. Hindsight is 20/20.

Good luck [MENTION=6691]ofco8[/MENTION], I'm sorry to hear the private hospital wasn't right for her. Probably the hardest thing about treating mental health is working out what works best for the individual and it is a long road, but nobody's life is all about one thing. Whatever her issues are, and without wanting to speak lightly of them, there will be things in her life which are positive and which are good. Those are the things to focus on rather than dwelling on the things which are negative. For me, that's the most important thing but again, I would never belittle anyone's feelings and especially without knowing what they were. I wish her well in her recovery as well as you and your family in your support of her.

 

[maffew]

And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.

Dont beat yourself up about it honestly. And I dont say that lightly it is not your fault.

Mental illness is just the worst, for all parties involved. Its horrid. I have first hand experience how it affects you and your loved ones. PM me if you like. Keep well

 

[pearl]

Sorry, that is so sad. I'm sure the last thing your friend would want is for anyone they've left behind to feel guilt over this. I'm sure they would want you to make the most of your life

 

[Seagull kimchi]

Not your fault - sadness, of course. Not your fault.

 

[Buzzer]

Not your fault - sadness, of course. Not your fault.

This a million times.

It does put that thread about the incident a few weeks back into perspective. I hope the person who started it gets a chance to read this thread and reflect.

 

[Whitechapel]

This a million times.

It does put that thread about the incident a few weeks back into perspective. I hope the person who started it gets a chance to read this thread and reflect.

Did he ever apologise for that? Don't want to stir shit, just hadn't seen anything from him regarding it.

 

[Mr Banana]

Don't blame yourself for it. There are good reasons why it's best not to talk about these things - people who try to usually only end up finding out what most people are like

 

[cloud]

Don't beat yourself up about it.

I had a friend who committed suicide, and although I (and others) tried to talk them out of it on several occasions, they were convinced they were worthless. Even though this clearly wasn't the case, no amount of reasoning or reassurance seemed to help.

Over the course of several years he said he would at some point kill himself, and eventually he did. In their minds it is such a certainty, you can't talk them out of it, you are just prolonging it.

 

[AmexRuislip]

And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.

Sorry for your loss.
Not sure if you have seen this thread, there is quite a lot of sensible advice on it
https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/showt...e-mental-health-problems&highlight=depression

 

[Malonia]

You are so right, we should all look out for the signs and and offer support and listen if someone in need approaches us.

I'm really sorry for your loss but echo the OPs - it is not your fault and you should not beat yourself up. And yes definitely talk to those close to you about how you are feeling.

I've struggled with anxiety issues all my life but I sought help and had cognitive behavioural therapy via the NHS. It was excellent and I believe it saved my life. I was able to tell my therapist this as I wanted her to know what she had achieved for me.

But it doesn't end there. Exactly a year ago I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and a secondary tumour in my liver. I went through the treatment and operations fairly easily, found strength from who knows where. But I ended up with a permanent colostomy bag which knocked me for six and two weeks ago I seriously contemplated suicide. I just couldn't come to terms with it.

But my point is that I didn't end it, because I talked to family, friends and my (recently separated) wife. And they have all been fantastic and supportive and helped me regain my desire to carry on. I'm not there yet but with the love and support I've received I am slowly bringing the positives back into my life.

We can all help other and I wholeheartedly agree with you that we should all be vigilant and ensure we do.

 

[JBizzleBeard]

I'm so sorry to hear this but as others have said, don't beat yourself up about it. Easier said than done admittedly.

I too lost a friend to suicide several years ago. I still question myself to this day as to what I could've or should've done but the reality is, is there's nothing I could have done.

I'm currently on day 10 of anxiety and depression meds (Sertraline) after finally giving in to the fact that I DO have a genuine illness. I always just believed I was doing it to myself and there wasn't anything wrong with me. The meeting with my GP last week told me very different. Especially when I filled out the questionnaire.

Sadly there's still too many people from the 'pull yourself together' brigade.

Keep strong.

 

[vegster]

And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.

Well said.

 

[Bulldog]

Sadly there's still too many people from the 'pull yourself together' brigade.

This. this. this and this.

It's the worst possible advice you can give. It just makes the sufferer feel even more inadequate.

 

[spongy]

That k you everyone. I think deep down I do know that there is nothing I could have done. But there is always a part of me that's will always think I didn't do enough. I was there. I nearly have the t shirt.

There is also a part of me that hates him for doing it.

Did he try hard enough to talk to me? Was his mind set? Could i have helped more? Why didnt i see and recognise the signs? What more could I have done instead of being so ignorant? Why didn't I do more? Why didn't he really open up? Or did he and I just didn't see it?

Lots of horrible stuff running through my mind d.

Luckily my wife has just rolled in through the door with my 3yo daughter after her second day at nursery full of beans and happiness and garbled stories of her day.

I shouldn't dwell on this. Should I? Or should I? And try and figure out how to never let it happen again? It's tucking horrible. Perhaps because I'm drunk I feel I should really think about it now. I tend to my best thinking whilst pissed. Let it all out and then digest what I've thought the next day. Or do I turn everything inside and wind myself up like I normally do.

I've always been in the "selfish *******" camp when it comes to suicide and trains. As it effects other people in so many ways. When I came close at least I wouldn't drag innocent people into it.

I just can't believe he ****i g did it.

I also do t k ow why I'm on here right now. I have a wonderful little girl begging me to watch her jump off our sofa and I'm sitting here writing God knows what.

Sorry. I think I should go. Ish all revisit this tomorrow.

 

[AmexRuislip]

That k you everyone. I think deep down I do know that there is nothing I could have done. But there is always a part of me that's will always think I didn't do enough. I was there. I nearly have the t shirt.

There is also a part of me that hates him for doing it.

Did he try hard enough to talk to me? Was his mind set? Could i have helped more? Why didnt i see and recognise the signs? What more could I have done instead of being so ignorant? Why didn't I do more? Why didn't he really open up? Or did he and I just didn't see it?

Lots of horrible stuff running through my mind d.

Luckily my wife has just rolled in through the door with my 3yo daughter after her second day at nursery full of beans and happiness and garbled stories of her day.

I shouldn't dwell on this. Should I? Or should I? And try and figure out how to never let it happen again? It's tucking horrible. Perhaps because I'm drunk I feel I should really think about it now. I tend to my best thinking whilst pissed. Let it all out and then digest what I've thought the next day. Or do I turn everything inside and wind myself up like I normally do.

I've always been in the "selfish *******" camp when it comes to suicide and trains. As it effects other people in so many ways. When I came close at least I wouldn't drag innocent people into it.

I just can't believe he ****i g did it.

I also do t k ow why I'm on here right now. I have a wonderful little girl begging me to watch her jump off our sofa and I'm sitting here writing God knows what.

Sorry. I think I should go. Ish all revisit this tomorrow.

I had an uncle who passed away in Germany last week.
He had the onset of severe depression, which was quite distressing for the family.
As I don't have the chance to go to the funeral.
I will remember him for the good times I had