Mental health. Please talk to others.

[Thunder Bolt]

That k you everyone. I think deep down I do know that there is nothing I could have done. But there is always a part of me that's will always think I didn't do enough. I was there. I nearly have the t shirt.

There is also a part of me that hates him for doing it.

Did he try hard enough to talk to me? Was his mind set? Could i have helped more? Why didnt i see and recognise the signs? What more could I have done instead of being so ignorant? Why didn't I do more? Why didn't he really open up? Or did he and I just didn't see it?

Lots of horrible stuff running through my mind d.

Luckily my wife has just rolled in through the door with my 3yo daughter after her second day at nursery full of beans and happiness and garbled stories of her day.

I shouldn't dwell on this. Should I? Or should I? And try and figure out how to never let it happen again? It's tucking horrible. Perhaps because I'm drunk I feel I should really think about it now. I tend to my best thinking whilst pissed. Let it all out and then digest what I've thought the next day. Or do I turn everything inside and wind myself up like I normally do.

I've always been in the "selfish *******" camp when it comes to suicide and trains. As it effects other people in so many ways. When I came close at least I wouldn't drag innocent people into it.

I just can't believe he ****i g did it.

I also do t k ow why I'm on here right now. I have a wonderful little girl begging me to watch her jump off our sofa and I'm sitting here writing God knows what.

Sorry. I think I should go. Ish all revisit this tomorrow.

You are grieving which is completely natural when someone dies. There's a whole range of emotions in grief, which can be anger, crying, thinking you could have done more, even in a physical illness, so it's unsurprising that you are going through this.

Grief is difficult, but you can also get counselling for it, with a bereavement specialist, so if you find yourself being overwhelmed, please seek it.

 

[matbha]

Having mental problems is very hard ,I have suffered this for many years but with the right treatment you can get better all medication is a bit of a guess but you will find the right combo took me many tries but im fine now sorry for your loss

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Awful story, I am sorry for you and your friend. I have come to believe there are many, many good people on NSC that would, have and will be that helpful ear. I have proof in messages from them.

 

[spence]

Chin up fella.

More often than not it's very difficult to talk somebody out of suicide especially men who are to ashamed to admit there inner problems.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

I had a cousin who took his own life about 10 years ago. We think now that he was an undiagnosed manic depressive.

I had an interesting conversation around that time with someone who works locally for a mental health charity. He actually said that, on occasion, people will make the decision that they are going to do it and then plan and carry it out meticulously. With my cousin he went to a headland in South-west Wales where he and his family had that summer had an excellent holiday, but he had obviously worked it all out, posting a letter to his partner on the way and so on.

And strangely, people who work it like that will often seem happier for a short period because they have made the decision, are looking forward to getting "out of it" and nothing would stop them.

Probably very different to your friend's story, but just an illustration that it may not be that esy to talk someone out of it.

And give your little girl the attention she deserves.

 

[1234andcounting]

As many on here will know, I lost my brother (long time Albion fan Veggie Seagull Dave) to suicide a few years ago. His mental health problems had, I think, become so deep that he was impossible to reach even by those closest to him in the last few years. The stigma that surrounds long term mental health issues is still, particularly in men, still very deep. I still go through a combination of reactions from "I should have done so much more" to "there was nothing anyone could have done". From his medical files it was clear that the problems took root in childhood and, by the time he got any sort of treatment it was probably too late. I don't know what the answer is; the only thing I do know is that I keep a closer eye on those close to me and, if I think anything is not as it should be, I enquire, gently as possible. It is not much, I know, but I believe we can all do this. If a collective effort saves one life it is worth it.

 

[Lush]

Rethink Mental Illness have an Advice Line. They give good advice about what to do to get the help you (or your friend or loved one) need. They're horribly under-resourced, but will do their best.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

As many on here will know, I lost my brother (long time Albion fan Veggie Seagull Dave) to suicide a few years ago. His mental health problems had, I think, become so deep that he was impossible to reach even by those closest to him in the last few years. The stigma that surrounds long term mental health issues is still, particularly in men, still very deep. I still go through a combination of reactions from "I should have done so much more" to "there was nothing anyone could have done". From his medical files it was clear that the problems took root in childhood and, by the time he got any sort of treatment it was probably too late. I don't know what the answer is; the only thing I do know is that I keep a closer eye on those close to me and, if I think anything is not as it should be, I enquire, gently as possible. It is not much, I know, but I believe we can all do this. If a collective effort saves one life it is worth it.

For the first time ever I went to the docs to get anti depressants a few weeks back but they really didn't work. I personally tend to have massive mood swings but when I'm working I'm usually (not always) fine. I did, it is funny but a bit dangerous too, fall into a canal in Amsterdam when I was a bit drunk last night! But the fact I struggled to make sure I didn't drown, it did tell me I haven't got that far yet.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

For the first time ever I went to the docs to get anti depressants a few weeks back but they really didn't work. I personally tend to have massive mood swings but when I'm working I'm usually (not always) fine. I did, it is funny but a bit dangerous too, fall into a canal in Amsterdam when I was a bit drunk last night! But the fact I struggled to make sure I didn't drown, it did tell me I haven't got that far yet.

Anti depressants take more than a couple of weeks to work. You need to take them for six months to start feeling the effects. Please go back to your doctor.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Anti depressants take more than a couple of weeks to work. You need to take them for six months to start feeling the effects. Please go back to your doctor.

Are you sure? I was on them for 28 days and the doc told me I'd feel the effect after a couple of weeks? It had no effect on me, but I shall take your advice, I did wonder myself.

 

[S.T.U cgull]

And if someone decides to choose you to talk to then PLEASE listen to them and try to help them.

I have just left the wake of a friends funeral. He committed suicide on the corner just north of Wivelsfield station two weeks ago.

He wasn't going through the best of times and we all knew he was struggling with things. There were some (me included) who didn't really realise just how serious the situation was. I wish I had listened more to him.

I myself have e experienced depression and had very macabre thoughts in my late teens and early twenties of ending my life. But somehow, and I have no idea how or what happened to change my th8nking but I managed to snap myself out of it, maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was, maybe it was a strong belief in myself which I didn't know I had, or the guilt that I was worrying friends or family with my own personal actions. Or maybe the vast amount of cocaine and ecstasy that I took to leave and forget the situation I was in but something happened that saved me.

My friend was going through what I did nearly 20 years ago. Perhaps it's the time passed that has dulled my memory of what I went through. I don't know.

I should have listened more and seen the signs. I just didn't realise he was that desperate. I thought he would "snap" oht of it just like i did. I feel I failed him in the most inexcusable way and I will never ever forgive myself for being so blaze about it and digging my head in the sand.

If someone doesn't seem right or their behaviour worries you in any way then please for God's sake please do your best to help.

I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life knowing I may have been able to do something but ignored it.

Please don't make the the same mitsake i have. I beg you. Its serious.

I knew him too and was very shocked by what happened two weeks ago.

You shouldn't attribute any blame to yourself.

RIP Aaron

 

[portlock seagull]

Anti depressants take more than a couple of weeks to work. You need to take them for six months to start feeling the effects. Please go back to your doctor.

Sound advice this [MENTION=17215]Sussex Nomad[/MENTION] and possibly better than your GP's reading others comments. And for god's sake stay on them if they're helping - so many people think the idea is to get off them once better but you wouldn't deny a diabetic their insulin so why take the chance and regress again. Especially if you've a long chequered history with something like depression. Accept you've got a chemical imbalance...just like your enormous schlong right? It's just natural, no need to feel guilty about And good luck

 

[OzMike]

My brother killed himself 20 odd years ago, I had managed to talk him out of it on a couple of previous occasions and didn't really get why he wanted to do it in the first place, as he seemed to have a pretty good life.
It was only when he was drunk that he went on about it, in the end the drink probably gave him enough Dutch courage to go through with it.
We found him at his garage business with an empty bottle of whisky and a hose attached to the exhaust pipe.
Even now I think of what I could have done to have prevented it, if only I was there with him during the earlier evening hours when he was trawling the local pubs getting pissed.
The fact is that you can't be everywhere and people do slip through the net, that will always happen.
It is best to come to terms with it as you can't turn the clock back and be there to support the ones left behind, as you can do nothing for your friend now.
Try to remember the good days of your friendship and share these thoughts to comfort others.
Time will ease the pain but not eradicate it, you seem to be in a good relationship, I would concentrate on that and giving extra hugs to those dear to you.

 

[spence]

My brother killed himself 20 odd years ago, I had managed to talk him out of it on a couple of previous occasions and didn't really get why he wanted to do it in the first place, as he seemed to have a pretty good life.
It was only when he was drunk that he went on about it, in the end the drink probably gave him enough Dutch courage to go through with it.
We found him at his garage business with an empty bottle of whisky and a hose attached to the exhaust pipe.
Even now I think of what I could have done to have prevented it, if only I was there with him during the earlier evening hours when he was trawling the local pubs getting pissed.
The fact is that you can't be everywhere and people do slip through the net, that will always happen.
It is best to come to terms with it as you can't turn the clock back and be there to support the ones left behind, as you can do nothing for your friend now.
Try to remember the good days of your friendship and share these thoughts to comfort others.
Time will ease the pain but not eradicate it, you seem to be in a good relationship, I would concentrate on that and giving extra hugs to those dear to you.

Wow that must be tough for you. You have my greatest respect. I also knew somebody who hung himself after being intoxicated. I said earlier that it's hard to stop somebody especially men.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Are you sure? I was on them for 28 days and the doc told me I'd feel the effect after a couple of weeks? It had no effect on me, but I shall take your advice, I did wonder myself.

Yes. This is what my doctor told me in March, when I started taking them. I'm still on them, at the moment.

 

[Grombleton]

Yes. This is what my doctor told me in March, when I started taking them. I'm still on them, at the moment.

It may also be that they aren't the right ones for you [MENTION=17215]Sussex Nomad[/MENTION] - i'm on my 3rd different one to find a type and dosage that works for me.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

There is a whole spectrum (imagine a circle with horizontal and vertical dissecting lines - 4 quadrants) with acute versus chronic, and mild versus severe as the axes. No two people sit in the same part of the spectrum. If you are prescribed drugs, some work in a couple of weeks (amytryptaline according to a mate who was on it) and some take longer, but the effect will also depend on where you are in the spectrum.

It can be possible to get better if you surrender to the intervention. To complicate issues, some illness is refractory to treatment, and some people who are ill do not 'want' to get better (or are convinced they are stuck).

On top of that some depression is endogenous (no cause) and some is refractory (reaction to divorce etc).

My best wishes to all of you who are suffering. One thing to remember - it is not your fault.

 

[maffew]

Anti depressants take more than a couple of weeks to work. You need to take them for six months to start feeling the effects. Please go back to your doctor.

It depends what you are taking but yes 2-4 weeks generally is not enough. 6 months seems too long in my experience but horses and courses.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

It depends what you are taking but yes 2-4 weeks generally is not enough. 6 months seems too long in my experience but horses and courses.

I suppose it also depends on the dosage. I took half a tablet for the first month, then progressing to a whole one at 50mg (Sertraline) Part of my depression is a by product of the auto immune disease, that I have.

 

[maffew]

I suppose it also depends on the dosage. I took half a tablet for the first month, then progressing to a whole one at 50mg (Sertraline) Part of my depression is a by product of the auto immune disease, that I have.

Hope it works for you mate. Yes (I am not a doctor) generally a review after 4 to 6 weeks I believe is normal to assess and review the dosage. I cant take Sertraline for various reasons but 50mg isnt the highest dosage you can take but as said hope it works for you, Unfortunately for some SSRIs to work you often feel worse before you feel better. I just had to double the dosage of one of my meds and **** it felt awful but I think its starting to work somewhat now