I did once, turns out she was a chiropodist. After a few glasses of mo-wett she, a bit tiddly invited me back to her flat and offered me a pedicure. She sat me on the reclinable sofa told me to remove the necessary attire as she went off to fetch her oils or summink.
On her return I was sitting there with my slong/cock/John Thomas out '' that's not a foot'' she shrieked. '' ''It's near enough'' says I, ''so crack on with it luv''