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Let's all laugh at David Beckham



hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
Eh? Many ways?

As far as I can see, he's only *ever* done one knobbish thing, and that is get himself sent off in 1998.

Apart from that, he's been an absolute role model for a generation of English kids.

Beckham is already an icon of the 90s and will be a legend in the future.

That, and the nonsense with that Pig-wanker.

Winners IMHO.

Would YOU like to wake up next to Victoria every morning?

I for one [if single] would love to. Needs to eat a few burgers, but she's a pretty girl. Better than most of the sad-sacks on here will EVER get to tamper with.

No spite meant, I just don't agree that he was a GREAT player, technically.

Interesting choice of words. I'd say that 'TECHNICALLY' is exactly the way in which he was great. He's TECHNICALLY the finest player this country has produced in a long time. In terms of TECHNIQUE, only Rooney even comes close.
 




Juan Albion

Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class
Well let me see now.

a) He's paid a fortune and was meant to be the MLS messiah but abandoned his team for half a season (screw the fans who all rushed out to buy his jersey, eh?)

b) Beckham's LA Galaxy, supposedly the MLS's marquee team, lost the title to a team that didn't even make the playoffs in their own division, so I laugh at him, just as I would if he had as high a profile at ManUre and they lost the title to Wigan.

c) I couldn't give a fig about England.

d) He lost and is therefore the loser. Simple.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
Well let me see now.

a) He's paid a fortune

b) Beckham's LA Galaxy, supposedly the MLS's marquee team, lost the title to a team that didn't even make the playoffs in their own division, so I laugh at him, just as I would if he had as high a profile at ManUre and they lost the title to Wigan.

c) I couldn't give a fig about England.

d) He lost and is therefore the loser. Simple.

a. Ha ha. What a LOSER.

b. Its hardly his fault that the retards over there want to organise a league, where you don't have to do well in a league, to win it.

c. Good for you. Have a biscuit.

d. Well done. Name me a player who's never lost a big game.
 


Juan Albion

Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class
a. Ha ha. What a LOSER.

b. Its hardly his fault that the retards over there want to organise a league, where you don't have to do well in a league, to win it.

c. Good for you. Have a biscuit.

d. Well done. Name me a player who's never lost a big game.

Are you related to Beckham by any chance? You seem to be taking this very personally. I'd love to hear from you if the Albion signed a big name player, paid him a fortune, and then he turned around and said "Well, I'll be back later, I'm just going off to miss half the season playing for someone else."

Other than that, most of your comments are completely pointless.
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
32,479
Brighton
Interesting choice of words. I'd say that 'TECHNICALLY' is exactly the way in which he was great. He's TECHNICALLY the finest player this country has produced in a long time. In terms of TECHNIQUE, only Rooney even comes close.

I would say Gerrard and Lampard have better overall technique than Beckham.

At PURELY 70 yard cross field balls, yes Beckham wins. But general play I don't think he is fantastic.

Lampard has a better conversion rate for free kicks, Beckham's is pretty terrible if you look at the stats.
 




hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
Are you related to Beckham by any chance? You seem to be taking this very personally. I'd love to hear from you if the Albion signed a big name player, paid him a fortune, and then he turned around and said "Well, I'll be back later, I'm just going off to miss half the season playing for someone else."

Other than that, most of your comments are completely pointless.

Don't confuse 'being bored at work' with 'taking things personally'.

He's taken LAG from bottom of the league, to the final in a year, and raised their profile massively, which is exactly what they wanted from him.

Many of my comments are indeed pointless. Few though, are spiteful and bitter.
 


Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,953
Surrey
Well let me see now.

a) He's paid a fortune and was meant to be the MLS messiah but abandoned his team for half a season (screw the fans who all rushed out to buy his jersey, eh?)
You don't really know the whole story here. He was paid £5m a year, which has now been pro-ratad. The rest was endorsements. And anyway, when he signed, he was clearly of the impression that his world cup days were over, but Capello made clear that here was a chance to play for his country again. He didn't flounce off, he simply re-negotiated his position with Don Garber. In return, they get a player who is still a current international, and he continues to promote the game over there. Since he went, Freddie Ljungberg signed for Seattle, Thierry Henry will probably go to NY and there will be others, because Beckham dipped his toe in the MLS pool and has said the water is warm. Plus, he'll end up buying a franchise which is a further committment. All in all, it was simply a case of scratching each other's backs.

b) Beckham's LA Galaxy, supposedly the MLS's marquee team, lost the title to a team that didn't even make the playoffs in their own division, so I laugh at him, just as I would if he had as high a profile at ManUre and they lost the title to Wigan.
Not Beckham's fault that too many teams make the play-offs. That will change soon anyway. MLS will be at 20 teams by 2012, and they plan on maintaining the top 8 as play-off places.

c) I couldn't give a fig about England.
lame.

d) He lost and is therefore the loser. Simple.
Losers don't get to finals. You'll note that the other MLS superstar, Cautemoc Blanco, lost to RSL on penaties in the round before. Have you been on other forums calling him a loser, you know, especially as you presumably "don't give a fig" about Mexico?
 


perth seagull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
5,487
I would say Gerrard and Lampard have better overall technique than Beckham.

At PURELY 70 yard cross field balls, yes Beckham wins. But general play I don't think he is fantastic.

Lampard has a better conversion rate for free kicks, Beckham's is pretty terrible if you look at the stats.

Apart from Euro 2004, Lampard has disappointed in every tournament we have played in. Gerrard has never been at his best like for Liverpool. Beckham has played well for England in the 2000, 2002, 2004 and 2006 tournaments, longer and more consistent than anyone else. Maybe at club level Lampard and Gerrard are better players, but they have yet to show their club form for the national side.
 




Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,425
Location Location
Beckham has played well for England in the 2000, 2002, 2004 and 2006 tournaments, longer and more consistent than anyone else.

You're kidding.
Can't remember much about 2000 to be honest, but 2002 he was RANCID (cos he was still injured), and 2006 he absolutley stank the place out - as did the entire team. I don't think Beckham has covered himself in glory in any of the tournaments.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
You're kidding.
Can't remember much about 2000 to be honest, but 2002 he was RANCID (cos he was still injured), and 2006 he absolutley stank the place out - as did the entire team. I don't think Beckham has covered himself in glory in any of the tournaments.

I don't recall him being 'RANCID' in the 1-0 win over Argentina.

In 2006, the team WERE poor, but to be fair to Beckham, he was responsible for EVERY goal England scored.
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
32,479
Brighton
I don't recall him being 'RANCID' in the 1-0 win over Argentina.

In 2006, the team WERE poor, but to be fair to Beckham, he was responsible for EVERY goal England scored.

What, he TOLD Joe Cole to spank it in off the bar from 40 odd yards? Blimey, I'd been giving Cole credit for the goal all this time.
 




Common as Mook

Not Posh as Fook
Jul 26, 2004
5,642
I don't recall him being 'RANCID' in the 1-0 win over Argentina.

In 2006, the team WERE poor, but to be fair to Beckham, he was responsible for EVERY goal England scored.

Our best players that day were Trevor Sinclair and Owen Hargreaves.

Yes he scored a pressure penalty, but he certainly wasn't our best player that day.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
What, he TOLD Joe Cole to spank it in off the bar from 40 odd yards? Blimey, I'd been giving Cole credit for the goal all this time.

..except that one...

Our best players that day were Trevor Sinclair and Owen Hargreaves.

Yes he scored a pressure penalty, but he certainly wasn't our best player that day.

Did anyone say he was? [It wasn't even a very good penalty, actually, but he certainly wasn't poor].
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
32,479
Brighton
Did anyone say he was? [It wasn't even a very good penalty, actually, but he certainly wasn't poor].

Well if not that one, then were are these great performances he supposedly put in in 2000, 2002 and 2004?
 




Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,425
Location Location
I don't recall him being 'RANCID' in the 1-0 win over Argentina.

In 2006, the team WERE poor, but to be fair to Beckham, he was responsible for EVERY goal England scored.

That 1-0 against Argentina was one of the luckiest wins we've ever had, they absolutely BATTERED us (and yes I was delighted, in fact I was pissed as a fart by 11am).

Beckham and the whole team stank in 2006. We were an utter embarrassment, and the fact that he pinged a ball over against Paraguay and some Caribbean mob for us to pop one in does nothing to obsolve him from his performances in that abortion of a tournament (from an England point of view).

Beckham has been a great servant to England over the years, but the fact is that he just has not turned up at a tournament yet, which will always count against him when you're judging the greatest players in the World.
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
32,479
Brighton
Beckham has been a great servant to England over the years, but the fact is that he just has not turned up at a tournament yet, which will always count against him when you're judging the greatest players in the World.

Correct. And that is why he should always go down as a GOOD player, never a GREAT one.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
Okay, you're right.

He's terrible. He's never had a good game in his life, he's an absolute ****, his wife is so ugly that she should carry a health warning, and his children eat other people's babies.
 


Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,425
Location Location
Okay, you're right.

He's terrible. He's never had a good game in his life, he's an absolute ****, his wife is so ugly that she should carry a health warning, and his children eat other people's babies.

FINALLY we get there. :thumbsup:




As it happens, I'd definitely have him in the squad next summer. He's not a starter any more, obviously, but if we need a bit of guile late on and a decent delivery, he's still got something to offer.
 






Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
32,479
Brighton
Okay, you're right.

He's terrible. He's never had a good game in his life, he's an absolute ****, his wife is so ugly that she should carry a health warning, and his children eat other people's babies.

I too agree that he should PROBABLY go to South Africa.

Every time we've raised this, no one has ever given any evidence that he is a great player. No one can scrabble around and manage to find even 1 or 2 world class performances. It'll be the same next time.

He is a VERY GOOD player. But never a great one.
 


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