[Humour] Joke du jour

[essbee1]

Two silk worms have a race. It ended in a tie.

(disclaimer: a "friend" told me this joke, so don't shoot
the messenger)

 

[Stat Brother]

Bit racist isn't it?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Bit racist isn't it?

It's silk wormist

 

[Mr Bridger]

Just had an argument with the wife, she reckons I’m not a true cockney so I pushed her down the apples and oranges.

 

[hart's shirt]

Two silk worms have a race. It ended in a tie.
(disclaimer: a "friend" told me this joke, so don't shoot
the messenger)

Your friend probably heard it on the latest arthropodcast.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

(courtesy of this week's Popbitch)

I phoned my local B&Q to ask how big the queue is
'Same size as the B'

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Bit racist isn't it?

Where's the statue?

 

[schmunk]

(courtesy of this week's Popbitch)

I phoned my local B&Q to ask how big the queue is
'Same size as the B'

Darnit, I was just about to post that...

 

[Jack Straw]

Two silk worms have a race. It ended in a tie.

(disclaimer: a "friend" told me this joke, so don't shoot
the messenger)

Did it take place behind closed draws?

 

[essbee1]

Did it take place behind closed draws?

Very good Jack.

 

[zefarelly]

For sale, limited edition bottle of Tippex,
it’s a corrector’s item.

 

[zefarelly]

I bought a Womble pepper grinder today, it’s rubbish,

everything’s either Underground or Overground.

 

[narly101]

I'm not sure that 2 silk worms would have been able to concentrate on producing the silk and then combining into a tie at the same time. I appreciate that they could have had help, but in these times of coronavirus, maintaining social distancing regulations would have made it even more difficult.

I call bull, on this.

 

[neilbard]

A man giving a long-winded speech finally says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."





A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you."

 

[Frankie]

Dai Jones looks set to become a multi millionaire after launching his new plant food product which guarantees bigger healthier plants .


Baby Boyo , available in all good garden centers and Primark .

 

[drew]

I bought some corduroy pillows yesterday after hearing they're really making headlines!

 

[Mr Bridger]

Man walks into a dentist's and says to the receptionist " I think I'm a moth"
The receptionist replied "I think you need a psychiatrist sir, this is a dental surgery"
"I know" said the man
"Then why did you come in here?" Asked the receptionist
" your lights were on" ............

 

[drew]

Did it take place behind closed draws?

Not wishing to offend but in the spirit of the 'Joke du jour' threads, should it not be drawers?

 

[Me and my Monkey]

Just had an argument with the wife, she reckons I’m not a true cockney so I pushed her down the apples and oranges.

Sexist!

Cocknist!

Isn’t NSC a lovely breath of fresh air this morning? Can’t imagine why.

 

[Insel affe]

What is white and lives in the Australian bush ?


Skippy the bushkangafridge