[Humour] Joke du jour

[Barrow Boy]

I used to be in a band called Missing Cat,
You probably saw our posters.

 

[bhafc99]

Two silk worms have a race. It ended in a tie.

(disclaimer: a "friend" told me this joke, so don't shoot
the messenger)

Yeah, but you started the thread...

 

[essbee1]

Yeah, but you started the thread...

Brilliant

 

[Insel affe]

No matter how kind you are, German children will always be Kinder.

 

[Jack Straw]

Not wishing to offend but in the spirit of the 'Joke du jour' threads, should it not be drawers?

I pride myself on my spelling, but as you have rightly pointed out, it should have said "drawers". What a plonker I've been!

 

[Jack Straw]

Did it take place behind closed drawers?

 

[Dorset Seagull]

(courtesy of this week's Popbitch)

I phoned my local B&Q to ask how big the queue is
'Same size as the B'

I love popbitch

 

[Dorset Seagull]

The cowboy Brown Paper Pete had a brown paper hat, brown paper trousers and a brown paper shirt. He was thrown in jail for rustling

 

[A1X]

There's going to be a clap in honour of Vera Lynn.

Don't know where, don't know when...

 

[Bodian]

Did it take place behind closed drawers?

I prefer the other version myself, as it pulls in two puns at one. A draw of course also being a tie - but still implying 'drawers' as well. Whereas 'closed drawers' doesn't immediately make the draw/tie connection jump out.

 

[Jack Straw]

I prefer the other version myself, as it pulls in two puns at one. A draw of course also being a tie - but still implying 'drawers' as well. Whereas 'closed drawers' doesn't immediately make the draw/tie connection jump out.

Thanks. Yes, I believe you have made a pertinent point.

 

[Jack Straw]

Did it take place behind closed draws?

 

[lawros left foot]

What’s a postman’s favourite herb?



Parcely

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Lucky it was a tie, could have just as easily been twisted knickers ....

 

[Ding Dong !]

" I just rang the council to ask if I could have permission to have a Skip outside the house"

She said go for it fatty, you could do with the exercise.

 

[Taybha]

Dai Jones looks set to become a multi millionaire after launching his new plant food product which guarantees bigger healthier plants .


Baby Boyo , available in all good garden centers and Primark .

 

[BNthree]

Where's the statue?

 

[Blue3]

Did it take place behind closed draws?

Far more likley behind a mulberry bush

 

[zefarelly]

Far more likley behind a mulberry bush

I've just checked behind ours, in the garden. No Traffic or anything happening.

 

[The Wookiee]

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up. The doctor said to me please stand there by the window and stick your tongue out.

I said why ?

Doctor said because I don’t like the bloke in the shop over the road !