Joke du jour

[Acker79]

Was the chicken used to make it up to 11v11, or was it used to have enough players to avoid forfeiting? If the latter, I presume the match was then forfeited with his red card? If the FA overturn it, for the reasons given elsewhere in this thread, what happens to the result? Will it be re-played?

 

[the wanderbus]

Was it a knocked kneed chicken or a bow-legged hen?

 

[Gazwag]

A chicken weights 2-3 times that of a football. Let's go with 3 times as much.
If a chicken were to put in a perfect cross at, let's say, 45 mph, the chicken - in accordance with Newton's third law of motion - would have to be accelerated backwards by 15 mph, which would be impractical and would likely launch the chicken into the stands.

On that basis Lua Lua would end up in the sea

 

[Theyorkshireseagull]

Was this chicken better than other Chicken related footballers? AdamCHICKsen, Stephane HENchoz?

He wouldn't of had a look in had Ruel Fox been marking him, he'd have chased him off the park

 

[hart's shirt]

As much as the chicken obviously enjoys football, it would be wise to decline any invitation offered to the end-of-season Albion players party.

In the light of recent cost-cutting measures within the club, it could well be a case of JFC having KFC.

 

[essbee]

Joke du jour?

bloody rubbish. It's put me on downer.

 

[The Brighton Buzz]

Very Plausible. His grand father played for Southampton Glenn Cockerill.

 

[Czechmate]

Very Plausible. His grand father played for Southampton Glenn Cockerill.

His grandfather ?? i am beginning to wonder about this story now you put that in !

Just noticed i am one post behind you TBB

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Was it a knocked kneed chicken or a bow-legged hen?

 

[chucky1973]

I bet the ref has ended up with egg on his face

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I thought it might have been CMS in disguise, but then realised there was no mention of the chicken being headless

 

[yxee]

what a poultry effort at a joke

 

[Mowgli37]

I'm afraid the authenticity of this story has to be called into question for the simple reason that a talking chicken who is employed as a chartered accountant would have already gained worldwide press coverage prior to this match due to the relative rarity of talking poultry.

 

[JCL - the new kid in town]

How did the chicken sign its registration papers? Would the FA have allowed a chicken to register?
The average life span of a chicken is 7 years old, isn't it a little unfair to have a 7 year old (or younger) playing in an adult's game? Under 18s have to have parental permission, but surely if the parent is also under 18 that creates a legal minefield of legal consent?
A talking chicken? A chicken that works out in a gym for an hour a day? You really are stretching credulity.

Its worse than that as a chicken is usually less than 1 year old, after that they are known as hens or cocks. It's child exploitation at its most extreme

 

[franks brother]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4WGQmWcrbs

 

[Questions]

....

 

[Fef]

Do Venkys know about this?

 

[Matt Richards]

I'm afraid the authenticity of this story has to be called into question for the simple reason that a talking chicken who is employed as a chartered accountant would have already gained worldwide press coverage prior to this match due to the relative rarity of talking poultry.

I work for a Big 4 chartered accountants and having checked with our HR department this afternoon they have confirmed that we neither currently employ, nor have we ever employed, a chicken (or to that matter any other form of poultry). After some pressing they also suggested that it would be extremely unlikely that any major accountancy firm would be able to satisfy itself that the chicken would have the attributes to get it through the chartered accountancy exams, to cope with the technical demands of the profession and to stand round the coffee machine gossiping and yet still charge the time to clients. I therefore also have to conclude that this story appears to be nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt at attention seeking. My suspicion is that it was created by a member of the executive board of the club to divert attention away from the glaring hole in the left side of our defense.

 

[WhingForPresident]

How were the pies? Was there a bus that went back to Rottingdean? Did the chicken get its red card rescinded?

 

[Muzzy]

A real joke du jour

A bloke brings his best mate home after work to meet his wife.
His wife screams "You ****ing dickhead, my hair and make-up are a mess,
the house is a right ****ing tip, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my pyjamas,
I can't be bothered to cook and it's my time of the month!".
"Why the **** did you bring him home?".
The husband replies "Because he was thinking of getting married".