Irish jokes

[Lord Bracknell]

Exactly how do we in Britain "pay for" more friendly people, cleaner streets, fewer criminals, less racism, fewer chavs, more beautiful scenery, better pubs, better police and better schools in Ireland?

Does the EU subsidise folk who don't drop litter?

 

[User removed 4]

Exactly how do we in Britain "pay for" more friendly people, cleaner streets, fewer criminals, less racism, fewer chavs, more beautiful scenery, better pubs, better police and better schools in Ireland?

Does the EU subsidise folk who don't drop litter?

cleaner streets:more street cleaners, better schools:money that EU gave to ireland to spend on infrastructure enables them to spend more on schools, the same with police , happy ??

 

[Simster]

Exactly how do we in Britain "pay for" more friendly people, cleaner streets, fewer criminals, less racism, fewer chavs, more beautiful scenery, better pubs, better police and better schools in Ireland?

Does the EU subsidise folk who don't drop litter?

Ireland is a net receiver from the EU, we are a net contributor. Mind you, bushy is being a bit churlish even bringing up the point. Why does it matter who pays for Ireland. How should that affect the opinions of the bloke on here who lives in Ireland?

Bushy has a point when he pulls up "less racism". The cities of Ireland are not exactly the most multicultural of cities compared to those in England, France, Italy or Germany are they?

 

[MJsGhost]

Dare's more ta Oyreland dan diss.

Sunday, bloody Sunday...!

 

[Lord Bracknell]

cleaner streets:more street cleaners, better schools:money that EU gave to ireland to spend on infrastructure enables them to spend more on schools, the same with police , happy ??

Nope.

Most of the comparisons made are better explained by the different attitudes of people, rather than by levels of public spending.

If it was public spending that created a better society, "Dave" Cameron would be campaigning for more of it.

 

[User removed 4]

Nope.

Most of the comparisons made are better explained by the different attitudes of people, rather than by levels of public spending.

If it was public spending that created a better society, "Dave" Cameron would be campaigning for more of it.

Then go for a weekend in limerick and see how you like it, or some of the other wonderful parts of the 'emerald isle '

 

[rool]

Then F**K off mate

i am english (originally from brighton), but have been living in ireland for the last eight years, and i can say without a single reservation that ireland is an infinatly better place to live than the uk.

-People much friendlier
-its cleaner and less crime ridden
-less racists
- less chavs
-more beautiful
- better pubs
-better police
-better schools


the list could go on and on

Ha, ha, funny but I'm working on it but lets have a closer look

-People much friendlier - Possibly but I always find people friendly unless you piss them off
-its cleaner and less crime ridden - cleaner? compared to London/Birmingham maybe but what about the illegal dumping in all the hedgerows. I've not particularly thought the Uk has look rubbish strewn on my visits.
Crime? maybe less due to population but need to look at rates per capita
-less racists - Really?, tell the polish, slovaks,latvians, nigerians that, or the report last year on a trial where Identical CV's were sent to companies. One set with Irish names and one set with foriegn names. Guess which ones got no responses.
I had never heard a teacher talking about the monkeys working at the hospital or a guy who had his car failed at the NCT by a black guy saying he only came out the jungle six months ago (not since 1975 anyway), or the local football team that only plays the kids from the local families leaving the foreign 'blow ins' on the touchline
- less chavs - I think the 'knackers' and 'scobes' take that title
-more beautiful - west country, lake district, peaks, pennines? On a par
- better pubs - Couldn't compare I don't frequent them
-better police - Apart from speed cameras where are they, didn't they also help cover up for the church?
-better schools - Debatable, recent revelations about inflated pass rates and companies like microsoft & IBM saying the standards aren't that high compared to rest of Europe. Smaller classes in rural areas? absolutely

 

[Martinf]

what a silly comment, you dont know anything about him , he could be 6'5 and a heavyweight boxer, then what would you do ?

ooh! What a silly billy I am!

And calling a whole nation 'daft' and 'bogtrotters' isn't "silly"?

 

[User removed 4]

ooh! What a silly billy I am!

And calling a whole nation 'daft' and 'bogtrotters' isn't "silly"?

Of course it is , especially considering how complimentary the irish are about us , it amazes me how chippy us english can get , anyone would think england was f***ing rammed with jocks and paddies constantly having digs and celebrating when england lose at football etc etc, f*** off mate ,the paddies are only getting back what they dish out

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Of course it is , especially considering how complimentary the irish are about us , it amazes me how chippy us english can get , anyone would think england was f***ing rammed with jocks and paddies constantly having digs and celebrating when england lose at football etc etc, f*** off mate ,the paddies are only getting back what they dish out

come on Bushy - the Irish love us....

I recall the last time I was in Northern Ireland - sat with a family over dinner who spent the entire time saying how much they hated the English and all they stood for...

lovely, relaxing time it was for me

 

[Juan Albion]

I'm beginning to wish I'd never asked a simple question.

 

[User removed 4]

come on Bushy - the Irish love us....

I recall the last time I was in Northern Ireland - sat with a family over dinner who spent the entire time saying how much they hated the English and all they stood for...

lovely, relaxing time it was for me

You mean they werent cheeky rogues with a glint in their eye ?

 

[sydney]

Of course it is , especially considering how complimentary the irish are about us , it amazes me how chippy us english can get , anyone would think england was f***ing rammed with jocks and paddies constantly having digs and celebrating when england lose at football etc etc, f*** off mate ,the paddies are only getting back what they dish out

ahem...i think you may be getting back what your forefathers dished out old son...........do your history mate

 

[User removed 4]

ahem...i think you may be getting back what your forefathers dished out old son...........do your history mate

I know my history....old son........ are the english the only ones who have to ' move on' and stop living in the past or does it apply to everyone?...............mate

 

[Simster]

I know my history....old son........ are the english the only ones who have to ' move on' and stop living in the past or does it apply to everyone?...............mate

NO, only the English. Everything is our fault. And in particular, the fault of our generation. Sack cloth and ashes for you and I, bushy.

200 years ago, the forefathers of modern day Australia swept in a line through Tasmania and literally slaughtered every aboriginal person they came across. And Australia forcibly re-patriated aborigines to white families as recently as the '50s. I wonder whether "sydney" blames Aussie racial tensions on his own country's white history, or whether that particular problem is the fault of the "abbos" who just sit about getting pissed all day?

 

[Sweeney Todd]

Did you hear about the Irish football manager who had the pitch flooded...so that he could bring on his sub?

 

[sydney]

I know my history....old son........ are the english the only ones who have to ' move on' and stop living in the past or does it apply to everyone?...............mate

me too sunshine......me too..!! i am not talking about moving on,but what has happened in the past..........is that not how people gauge eachother, the irish have been f***ed by us for 150 years , it's no wonder they helped the krauts in ww2........it didn't stop thousands of irish youth joining the forces to be dropped in behind enemy lines in gthe lead up to d-day did it..




.............old boy...!!!

 

[sydney]

NO, only the English. Everything is our fault. And in particular, the fault of our generation. Sack cloth and ashes for you and I, bushy.

200 years ago, the forefathers of modern day Australia swept in a line through Tasmania and literally slaughtered every aboriginal person they came across. And Australia forcibly re-patriated aborigines to white families as recently as the '50s. I wonder whether "sydney" blames Aussie racial tensions on his own country's white history, or whether that particular problem is the fault of the "abbos" who just sit about getting pissed all day?

well fuckin hark at you , it wasn't too long after that they were doing the same thing to the irish and the heugenots in south africa.....if you feel that strongly about the abbos i can send you one over...you can attempt to cultivate a meaningful relationship ..........(binfest approaching)

 

[sam86]

Corrr, one of the earliest jokes I can remember hearing as a little one -

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were all playing in a park. They gathered at the top of a slide and all of a sudden there was a massive clap of thunder, and a voice was heard; "I am God. Upon sliding down this slide, call out an item, and at the bottom, that item you shall receive".

Whilst the Irishman and Scotsman wonder what on earth is happening, the Englishman goes first, slides down and shouts "GOLDDDDDDDD", and to the Scotsman and Irishmans suprise, the Englishman gets to the bottom and is surrounded by gold.

The Scotsman pushes infront of the Irishman, jumps down the slide and shouts "DIAMONDS!", and just like the Englishman, his wish is granted, and he lands in a mound of diamonds.

The Irish, standing alone at the top of the slide, steadies himself, has a short run up, slings himself down the slide, and screams "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"...

 

[Simster]

well fuckin hark at you , it wasn't too long after that they were doing the same thing to the irish and the heugenots in south africa.....if you feel that strongly about the abbos i can send you one over...you can attempt to cultivate a meaningful relationship ..........(binfest approaching)

I don't feel strongly about "the abbos" at all. But I do feel strongly that I shouldn't have to feel guilty about being English because of things that happened hundreds of years ago.