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Hows Your Head?



Mr Banana

Tedious chump
Aug 8, 2005
5,491
Standing in the way of control
I've always thought myself to be quite introverted and not really requiring much social contact but after five days working from home I'm beginning to question if that's true. I have my daily catch-up calls in the morning with my team but then I'm basically alone until my girlfriend comes home.

That's basically how I've lived (without the catch-up calls) for weeks on end at a time over the last few years, with the exception of the odd voluntary job here and there (coincidentally, I've just agreed a working arrangement to live like that pretty much permanently.)

It didn't really occur to me that it was the main catalyst of misery until I heard how normal people react to it this week. Seems like briefly meeting one or two people every couple of weeks at football doesn't count as a banging social life for many. Might have to try to improve things - could be tricky, as I have a bit of a ballbag personality.
 




nickbrighton

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2016
2,127
Similar to others, I have moments of anxiety but I now try to limit my news intake to quick catch up reads from BBC News once in the morning and once again after the PMs statement in the evening. I find keeping in contact with family and friends useful, and just getting out of the house . I have just arranged a cycle ride with 2 others for Monday, perfectly safe as long as we keep a small distance between us.
 


joydivisionovengloves

Well-known member
Aug 10, 2019
432
N/E Somerset
Here's a thing. I was talking to a friend who works in an animal rescue shelter.
A lot of their dog walkers and cat companions are older, retired folk who now can't make it in to help out.
So why not get in touch with your local dogs home and see if you can help out.
Exercise and a nice animal to hang out with. Win win .
 


BBassic

I changed this.
Jul 28, 2011
13,038
That's basically how I've lived (without the catch-up calls) for weeks on end at a time over the last few years, with the exception of the odd voluntary job here and there (coincidentally, I've just agreed a working arrangement to live like that pretty much permanently.)

It didn't really occur to me that it was the main catalyst of misery until I heard how normal people react to it this week. Seems like briefly meeting one or two people every couple of weeks at football doesn't count as a banging social life for many. Might have to try to improve things - could be tricky, as I have a bit of a ballbag personality.

I'm going to channel my girlfriend here (she's a psychiatrist) and let you know that you're as 'normal' as anyone mate :thumbsup:

If you ever need a chat just drop me a PM, not just while this situation is going on either, anytime.
 


Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
3:30 in the morning is a particularly dreary, lonely (even if you are not alone), dark, cold time, when your (my) thoughts start to race, and all of the "what if" disaster scenarios start exploding. Even the relatively trivial suddenly assume a vast impenetrable impossibility.

My latest one is what happens if I can't find anyone to mot my car? Can I then drive it? Is my insurance invalid? What if I get stopped? How do I get to the shops? Will my cat starve to death? And so on to inevitable disaster...

All bonkers I know, but even giving myself a sound talking to at that time of the early hours doesn't help much at the time. Rational doesn't work very well in the cold and the dark.

Once I have actually got up and started whatever counts for normality these days, the night fears diminish and are overtaken by more mundane matters (like toilet rolls).

Keep as calm as you can, and carry on.

I have noticed my anxiety levels are higher than they used to be, and I don't like it.
 




darkwolf666

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2015
7,646
Sittingbourne, Kent
Can I just say I am ****ing scared, I feel like I am living with a ticking time bomb and just hope the whole thing doesn't blow up!

I've spent the last 3 months telling my wife that everything will be alright and that she will get through her cancer treatment, now this comes along!

Life just doesn't seem fair at times and I really worry how this is going to end... for me, for her and for all those others who are vulnerable or old...
 


D

Deleted member 22389

Guest
Worried about my wife having to go back in to school, but then it's nothing and I mean nothing compared to those partners who work in the NHS and are having to face this thing face on. I'm also saying this for people who work in Supermarkets, stuck on checkouts who are having to come in to contact with thousands of customers everyday.

Let's do our bit for everyone in the NHS, supermarkets. Be sensible and hopefully in 12 weeks time we might have things under control to a point where part of this dreadful feeling goes away.
 


Boroseagull

Well-known member
Aug 23, 2003
2,146
Alhaurin de la Torre
Today marks the first week of 'lockdown' in Spain, not just for the elderly, that includes me and Mrs.BS, but all the population, unless you have a good reason to go out, or are engaged in an allowed occupation. Guardia roadblocks are everywhere, so I'm told, and many fines issued to people who flout the law.

How am I coping? Well not too badly, fortunate to have a large house and reasonable size garden so there is always something that needs doing, but here's the crux of the problem, it's made me so lethargic that I cannot get the enthusiasm or find the energy to do it. I so miss being out in the countryside birdwatching (our main pastime) and knowing I'm missing one of the most important times of the year bird wise depresses me, so I end up reading a book or finding something on the TV. I think the only thing helping at the moment is taking a daily walk around the plot and stand amongst the orange & lemon trees and listen to the bees just getting on with their work, it is so relaxing, soothing and reminds me that apart from us humans the world carry's on regardless. Some minutes of this helps to reset my clock and make me realise I should be grateful for small mercies. Whether I feel like this after another week of lockdown is anyone's guess.
 




ManOfSussex

We wunt be druv
Apr 11, 2016
15,166
Rape of Hastings, Sussex
Struggling. As I'm now a critical worker and if it goes like Italy in a few weeks, and I appreciate it's a big if, a lot of people are going to end up with PTSD.
 


Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,307
Living In a Box
Struggling. As I'm now a critical worker and if it goes like Italy in a few weeks, and I appreciate it's a big if, a lot of people are going to end up with PTSD.

It is a very difficult time so perhaps try and get out (self-distancing) for a while and get some fresh air, National Trust parks are free at present rather than just sitting indoors and letting you mind just go through every scenario.

And if I am making your situation worse feel free to tell me to do one as I won't take offence.
 


Albion Dan

Banned
Jul 8, 2003
11,125
Peckham
I believe that the best thing everyone can do is be as positive as possible. No one really knows how bad this will be and because of the real lack of good data it is far more likely this is being overstated than understated.

Don’t watch or read the news as much as possible. The media have survived and thrived off an agenda of hyperbole and creating fear/conflict for years and you will get almost no balance or reality from the vast majority of communication channels. Explore alternative news sources if you have to engage and keep an open mind to what could really be happening.

Explore (if able) what you can do to help others and connect much as possible with your community. That is where the true positive outcome of all of this may be hidden, a reconnection with important things we have forgotten and a more selfless approach to how we help each other.

The emotion of fear from this will cause far more deaths and illnesses than the disease itself. Try and imagine positive outcomes rather than negative and use the time as productively as you can if possible.

This will be over and things will sort themselves out.

Edit: I would also strongly recommend people who are struggling explore mindfulness and meditation to help control the negative noise in thoughts.
 
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ManOfSussex

We wunt be druv
Apr 11, 2016
15,166
Rape of Hastings, Sussex
It is a very difficult time so perhaps try and get out (self-distancing) for a while and get some fresh air, National Trust parks are free at present rather than just sitting indoors and letting you mind just go through every scenario.

And if I am making your situation worse feel free to tell me to do one as I won't take offence.

Not at all.

On Monday morning I'm going to go into work and be around some people, kids in their 20's, who thought going out on Friday night was a right laugh. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to react. It's all so very difficult as you say.
 


Swansman

Pro-peace
May 13, 2019
22,320
Sweden
Most of my friends go to something called a "folkhögskola" (literally: people's high school), a type of boarding school for adults who practice creative stuff (music, arts, writing etc). I usually go to this school, on a beautiful mountain just 30 minutes from my home, three or four days every week to hang out, party, play football, do things...

They have now banned visitors from the school and its housing. I went to the mountain yesterday and from a distance watched them drink beer, dance and play basketball in the sun.

Been fine so far but totally crushed now.
 


darkwolf666

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2015
7,646
Sittingbourne, Kent
Most of my friends go to something called a "folkhögskola" (literally: people's high school), a type of boarding school for adults who practice creative stuff (music, arts, writing etc). I usually go to this school, on a beautiful mountain just 30 minutes from my home, three or four days every week to hang out, party, play football, do things...

They have now banned visitors from the school and its housing. I went to the mountain yesterday and from a distance watched them drink beer, dance and play basketball in the sun.

Been fine so far but totally crushed now.

Well reading your post cheered me up a bit, you do appear to live in some weird parallel universe! :whistle:
 






Sussexscots

3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3 3, 3, 3, 3 ,3 ,3 3 coach chuggers
3:30 in the morning is a particularly dreary, lonely (even if you are not alone), dark, cold time, when your (my) thoughts start to race, and all of the "what if" disaster scenarios start exploding. Even the relatively trivial suddenly assume a vast impenetrable impossibility.

My latest one is what happens if I can't find anyone to mot my car? Can I then drive it? Is my insurance invalid? What if I get stopped? How do I get to the shops? Will my cat starve to death? And so on to inevitable disaster...

All bonkers I know, but even giving myself a sound talking to at that time of the early hours doesn't help much at the time. Rational doesn't work very well in the cold and the dark.

Once I have actually got up and started whatever counts for normality these days, the night fears diminish and are overtaken by more mundane matters (like toilet rolls).

Keep as calm as you can, and carry on.

I have noticed my anxiety levels are higher than they used to be, and I don't like it.
I woke up in the middle of the night and thought exactly that. What if there's no one to MOT my car? I have to look after my mother, I can't do that without my car.

You're not alone. Have to tell myself to breathe, centre, be as calm as possible and carry on for those that rely on me. And tell myself the storm will pass.
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,580
Hurst Green
I woke up in the middle of the night and thought exactly that. What if there's no one to MOT my car? I have to look after my mother, I can't do that without my car.

You're not alone. Have to tell myself to breathe, centre, be as calm as possible and carry on for those that rely on me. And tell myself the storm will pass.

It was mentioned on radio last week that the government are going to allow an extension (within reason, I assume) if your car runs out and you can't get it done. Haven't heard or seen anything since. Mine runs out next week and is booked in. Will check if it's going ahead. It's a mates garage so hopefully be OK
 


SUA Seagull

Well-known member
Jul 23, 2016
421
Stratford-upon-Avon
I live in a 10-house cul-de-sac along with quite a few elderly neighbours, many of whom are already beginning to struggle with the psychological anxiety of a potentially rigid and lengthy period of isolation (and its effect on their children and grandchildren) as well as the physical challenges they face with going to the shops, especially with a worryingly large number of local f***wits [still] emptying the shelves of basic foodstuffs.

My wife and I have formed a residents’ 24/7 contact group, not just to look after our more vulnerable neighbours but also to trade phone calls, emails, texts, WhatsApps etc with everyone so as to ensure that people don’t feel isolated and we maintain a healthy degree of social interaction, albeit not physically.

I have been encouraged by the unanimous expressions of support from all neighbours to this initiative and also touched by those who’ve offered to go shopping / collect prescriptions for our older neighbours. This will, we hope, provide peace of mind for them and – equally importantly – provide comfort to their own grown up children, some of whom live hundreds of miles away, who can themselves rest in the knowledge that their parents are in safe hands and concentrate on looking after their own children.

This is going to be a long-haul affair, for sure, and so developing coping strategies for physical and mental well-being are going to be essential, as many of you have already pointed out. We hear the word “community” thrown about a lot these days but now, more than ever, it’s important to look out for others. Any goodwill we can offer to others will be a valuable service to them on this presently unknown journey.

I take great comfort in reviewing NSC, to see how others are coping and to see their reaction to, and observations on, the way in which the situation is unfolding. I am reassured by most of what I read on here, which suggests that the vast majority of us are of a charitable nature at heart. NSC has been a lifeline for me even though I am not a regular poster, so thank you all.

These are challenging times and to get through this we must all pull together. Please be safe. :ascarf:
 




Notters

Well-known member
Oct 20, 2003
24,888
Guiseley
Really terrified about the prospect of a complete lockdown with the four year old and four month old. Was OK today going for a walk in (completely deserted) woodland near our house but with endless screeching at home? Unbearable.
 


Weststander

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2011
69,205
Withdean area
Best advice I can give, honestly, is really limit the amount of news you watch. Maybe a quick catch up online then leave it, if you're struggling with a bit of anxiety you need to focus your mind on more positive stuff.

This.

You’re literally not missing much by skipping 10 hours of TV news. Both Sky and BBC have without publicising it gone to a skeleton staff. Both on tedious pre-recorded 30 minute loops throughout today, the very same articles about Italy, Times Square and Leicester Square played over and over.
 


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