[Football] HOW will England fail at Russia 2018?

[Mellotron]

Always fascinating seeing the new and novel ways we manage to go out.

I'm pretty confident on my scenario;

We will crawl through our group, drawing 1-1 with Panama in the worst game of football you have ever seen.

In the second round we will get knocked out by Japan on penalties, finding out at the end that it is their first competitive penalty shoot out ever.

Harry Winks will be in the form of his life before the tournament, being heralded as England's new saviour, the torchbearer for the next generation. He will be sent off in the Japan game for tripping over and accidentally knocking the referee down in the process.

What's yours?

 

[Questions]

I’m hoping for glorious failure this time round.

Dismal failure is just not good enough.

 

[Albion_Dave]

We will go out in the group stages without playing a single forward pass.

 

[bhafc99]

Harry Kane will do his cruciate ligament two weeks before the tournament.

Called out of international retirement to fill the gap, Wayne Rooney is heralded by the media as the ultimate comeback king, a man reborn, who will surely seize this unexpected but surely 'meant to be' opportunity to finally fulfill his potential and make a mark on the global stage that will never be forgotten.

England finish joint bottom of their group, having failed to score a goal, and with the 0-0 draw with Saudi Arabia their solitary point.

 

[Mellotron]

Harry Kane will do his cruciate ligament two weeks before the tournament.

Called out of international retirement to fill the gap, Wayne Rooney is heralded by the media as the ultimate comeback king, a man reborn, who will surely seize this unexpected but surely 'meant to be' opportunity to finally fulfill his potential and make a mark on the global stage that will never be forgotten.

England finish joint bottom of their group, having failed to score a goal, and with the 0-0 draw with Saudi Arabia their solitary point.

Decent shout. Mine also left out the fact that Harry Winks will end up receiving death threats from morons, for his unfortunate red.

 

[Hillian1]

England will be ejected from the tournament due to the fans being involved in violence that results in multiple arrests for headbutting Russian fans feet.

 

[Napper]

If we get out the group then we've had a good tournament.

Out on pens , 2nd round to someone like USA I suspect

 

[Mellotron]

England will be ejected from the tournament due to the fans being involved in violence that results in multiple arrests for headbutting Russian fans feet.

I was thinking something along these lines as well. Numerous lifelong bans for people such as Susan Jones, 45, mother of four who wasn't even going to any games but on a tourist trip to St Petersburg.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

 

[Mellotron]

If we get out the group then we've had a good tournament.

Out on pens , 2nd round to someone like USA I suspect

Unlikely....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41574810

 

[MattBackHome]

Group H:

England 1-1 Poland
South Korea 0-0 England
Panama 1-1 England

Round 2:

England 0 - 9 (NINE) Germany

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

 

[Spiros]

Given what we've shown in the qualifiers I'll be looking on anything other than a defeat in every group game as a success. The very fact that Scotland were still in with a chance of runners up spot in the last round of games shows what a weak group we were in. Without a lucky draw we wouldn't have got there at all IMHO

 

[Mellotron]

Oh also, in what way will Gareth Southgate completely lose the plot as the England Manager Curse hits him?

El Tel - dodgy business dealings.
Hoddle - "People in wheelchairs probably deserve it".
Sven - The whole Gerrard-Lampard situation "we've never discussed it", taking Theo Walcott having never seen him play a single second in the flesh.
McClaren - Being Steve McClaren.
Capello - Working the players INSANELY hard in an altitude camp straight after the season ended then wondering why they were shattered for the tournament.
Hodgson - tried about 4,000 different formations, HARRY KANE TAKING CORNERS AND FREE KICKS
Big Sam - We all know what happened there.

Has a manager's career EVER not gone downhill from being England manager onwards?!?!?

 

[SeagullofMalaysia]

Expecting something like this:
Group D:
Playoff team (Denmark or Sweden) 2-1 England
Colombia 4-1 England
England 1-0 Australia

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

 

[spring hall convert]

Oh also, in what way will Gareth Southgate completely lose the plot as the England Manager Curse hits him?

El Tel - dodgy business dealings.
Hoddle - "People in wheelchairs probably deserve it".
Sven - The whole Gerrard-Lampard situation "we've never discussed it", taking Theo Walcott having never seen him play a single second in the flesh.
McClaren - Being Steve McClaren.
Capello - Working the players INSANELY hard in an altitude camp straight after the season ended then wondering why they were shattered for the tournament.
Hodgson - tried about 4,000 different formations, HARRY KANE TAKING CORNERS AND FREE KICKS
Big Sam - We all know what happened there.

Has a manager's career EVER not gone downhill from being England manager onwards?!?!?

McClaren won a Dutch title with FC Twente after being England manager.

The suggestion is a little unfair given international managers, especially these days, are old so unlikely to go on to better things after the job

 

[severnside gull]

Underpinning my forecast by making sure I can spell "embarrassing"

 

[Mellotron]

McClaren won a Dutch title with FC Twente after being England manager.

The suggestion is a little unfair given international managers, especially these days, are old so unlikely to go on to better things after the job

But even a few of them could retire with dignity shortly after. A lot of them become pretty much jokes, obviously the media has a hand in this...

 

[LlcoolJ]

McClaren won a Dutch title with FC Twente after being England manager.

"And they errrrr, qualify for, the eeerrrr Champions League! But we are errrr, ash you shay, underdogs....."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZnoP4sUV90

 

[jakarta]

Cocaine, Whores and taking Ben Stokes along as an Anger Management Coach.

Upside would be the most entertainment from an England Team in years.