- Apr 5, 2014
- 25,922
But Ireland and France are European. As are we, well, sort of.
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[Football] HOW will England fail at Russia 2018?
- Thread starter Mellotron
- Start date
But Ireland and France are European. As are we, well, sort of.
sydney
tinky ****in winky
the entire team will be caught up in a scandal involving three russian hookers , a donkey and some vaseline....this will all be acceptable but the fact they are all chugging on duty free cohiba's which prove to be fake and therefore contraband will result in the team being held in custody leaving oxo chambermaid and john stones to play our first game against germany on their own .......fifa , in a moment of empathy , allow southgate to play rush goalie.....we lose our first game 8-0 .....danny wellbeck and eric dier are executed and in a moment of utter confusion their bodies are flown to cuba for burial......you cooont make it up .......second game an english team is fielded from the travelling support.....we go down gallantly to argentina 2-0....both penalties tsk tsk .....
: snooze:
: snooze:
Normal Rob
Well-known member
My only forecast is that England will be the seeded team that everyone will want in their group.
Leekbrookgull
Well-known member
Leekbrookgull
Well-known member
and that,s because they know that they WILL beat them. Won't get out of the group.
On a tangent, which was the last game in a major tournament when you watched England and thought "we can bloody win this!".
The tournament I mean, not just winning the game in question.... I'm struggling.
When Owen scored v Brazil in 2002 maybe?
The tournament I mean, not just winning the game in question.... I'm struggling.
When Owen scored v Brazil in 2002 maybe?
crookie
Well-known member
Euro 96
Leekbrookgull
Well-known member
Can you ever expect to see a goal like Owen98 or that performance from a Southgate side ?
vegster
Sanity Clause
- May 5, 2008
- 28,273
Italia '90 we even had the krauts running scared for a while, I remember Gazza just failing to connect with a cross with only the keeper to beat, great team.
The Fifth Column
Lazy mug
I can confidently predict that not a single player or member of the England staff will crack a smile for the entire duration of the tournament. The usual fayre of deadpan, monosyballic and passionless interviews will be followed by equally uninspiring football. Someone in Bolton will actually die of boredom during the opening England match causing warnings to be displayed before every subsequent match played (i.e 2 or 3 more matches). If we've got anyone half decent they will get injured just before the tournament and still get selected and play 75% fit, they will be pony and become the new hate figure for the brain dead england fans. Meanwhile, Argentina who these days are decidedly average will be carried single handed to the final by Messi, winning every game 1-0 before predictably losing to the Germans who will win the tournament at a canter due to fielding a team of footballing robots. Sepp Blatter will Koof it during the tournament giving everyone a momentary ray of sunshine.
Ultimately we will be shit, we're always shit and will continue to be shit at major tournaments
Ultimately we will be shit, we're always shit and will continue to be shit at major tournaments
Well they managed it despite Hoddle rather than because of him.... But that was a really good team, so no.
That was Euro 96, in extra time. The grey kit and he just held his run and missed by about an inch......wasn't it? Would have been a "golden goal" too. Sure it was that game.
vegster
Sanity Clause
- May 5, 2008
- 28,273
My mistake, you are correct, mixing up my "Heroic Failures ".
maffew
Well-known member
Still feel sick every time I see it.
horshamite
Now Saltdeanite.
- Nov 16, 2010
- 487
Surely Italia '90
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,638
The competition is going to be a washout.
Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk
Interestingly it was only a few years later the Germans realised they had problems and started to develop the system which delivered the last World Cup.
True. Around the time that they realised their best striker was Carsten Jancker? Something had to be done.
Around the same time (well 1998 definitely) we had the best England squad I've ever seen. Things have gone really well since then........
Iggle Piggle
Well-known member
- Sep 3, 2010
- 5,955
Euro 96. It felt like it was written in the stars. Then we lost on Pens.
We may have got to the semis in 90 but we stunk the place out. Hopeless against Ireland in a game that was league 1, lucky against Egypt we somehow fluked an open draw. We huffed and puffed past a Belgium team who did everything but score thanks to the only bit of skill in the game from Platty, did our best to lose against Roger Millers pensionable Cameroon and really only played well in games we didn't win (Holland and Germany).
The last tournament I was satisfied with is 2002. Took the Germans apart in qualifying ('ein funf in your back yard son' as we told our German work colleague), negotiated a rock hard group knocking the Argies out and took apart a Denmark team who topped thier group before getting done by a Brazilian team who won it. We should have won Euro 2004 and have been hopeless ever since. Scott Parker, Upson and Gareth Barry to name but 3 who have regularly started for England but are Sunday league at the top level. Oh to go out on Penalties again.
We may have got to the semis in 90 but we stunk the place out. Hopeless against Ireland in a game that was league 1, lucky against Egypt we somehow fluked an open draw. We huffed and puffed past a Belgium team who did everything but score thanks to the only bit of skill in the game from Platty, did our best to lose against Roger Millers pensionable Cameroon and really only played well in games we didn't win (Holland and Germany).
The last tournament I was satisfied with is 2002. Took the Germans apart in qualifying ('ein funf in your back yard son' as we told our German work colleague), negotiated a rock hard group knocking the Argies out and took apart a Denmark team who topped thier group before getting done by a Brazilian team who won it. We should have won Euro 2004 and have been hopeless ever since. Scott Parker, Upson and Gareth Barry to name but 3 who have regularly started for England but are Sunday league at the top level. Oh to go out on Penalties again.