How do you stop a cat shatting in your garden?

[Storer68]

Surely the obvious solution is to buy a Palace shirt, drape it over the spot in question. The cat will see it laid out in all its glory and realise what the shirt is best used for do what cats do best.........

 

[kevinsmith]

Right, I’ve just laid a new front garden with woodchip and every morning there is a new pile of cat shat on it! I’ve tried mothballs and they worked for all of a few hours.

Now I don’t want a get a cat myself as I don’t like them.....
Any ideas?

Yours sincerely,

Cat Shat Man

Buy a flat

 

[perth seagull]

Get a scarecrow

oh wait, wrong animal.

 

[Lush]

I'm now done to my last resort of a Pellet Gun but somehow just don't have the nerve.

Oh shit I've shot the shatting cat?

 

[timco]

Orange peel or other citrus, cats can't stand the smell of it (try putting an orange near a cat).

I took to spraying areas on a regular basis with Mr Muscle Orange cleaner, it seems too work.

 

[Rangdo]

Get a scarecrow

oh wait, wrong animal.

 

[poke]

my dad used to have this thing that looked like a bar of soap that he would cut bits off and put on the garden. didn't work tho so we got a dog that stopped teh cats coming in

 

[Dr Schnell]

Have you tried anti-cat mines? A small explosive charge that will take off a leg or two. Works a treat. Alterntatively you could try cat traps

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Ring up the Eastenders director and tell Him to tell her ,shit elsewhere,in the square for instance or failing that Arfurs allotment.

 

[zefarelly]

befriend, it give it food, stroke it and play with it for a few weeks, then get some of the most lethal hottest chilies you can find cut em up rub them on your finger then when the cat next comes to your garden grab it and stick your finger up it's harris, after that the cat won't come back to your garden!

LMFAO quality suggestion

holly leaves work as they dont rot, the spines get in their feet and they dont like it.

we let off a massive french banger once to kill an ants nest . . . .unknown to us there was a cat in the hedge next to it . . . .ewhen it went off the cat flew out the bush and hit the fence full chat, then scampered over it all claws a go-go like in the cartoons , I nearly wet myself laughing

 

[Gazwag]

P.S. Does Silent Roar smell bad..?

No they don't smell, they are just small pellets about half a centimetre round.

 

[Dave the OAP]

As a cat lover, i am appauled by this ........

Simple really,dig down about three inches below the surface, lay a metal net in it, cover with bark.
Wire the net up to the mains.
Lay in wait
When the offending animal squats down to have a number 1 or 2, shove 240 volts up its jacksy
When it comes down from 5000ft and makes a hell of a splat, the other felines will recognize a well toasted pussy and never darken your garden again.

 

[Dr Schnell]

As cat traps involve a long and sometimes quite noisy death you could always get a ferocious dog and train it to kill cats (a pit bull or doberman perhaps). The downside is that you'll end up with larger piles of dogshit

 

[Jason Speaks]

Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
Specially designed strips of plastic spikes on top of a fence, shed roof, nestbox roof etc to prevent cat from walking on it.
Place ½ full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeepers trick light reflection is supposed to deter.
Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
Downward opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under names Pee-off and Scaredy cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (Renardine, Citronella) or mark a territory (Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
An electronic deterrent works on a high frequency that is inaudible to people and birds, and while some other animals can hear it, it is designed to be unpleasant only to cats, and to keep them away from a specific area. Being sound-based, a cat with defective hearing may not be able to hear the sound, and some individual cats including Siamese appear not to respond.

 

[Dr Schnell]

Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
Specially designed strips of plastic spikes on top of a fence, shed roof, nestbox roof etc to prevent cat from walking on it.
Place ½ full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeepers trick light reflection is supposed to deter.
Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
Downward opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under names Pee-off and Scaredy cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (Renardine, Citronella) or mark a territory (Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
An electronic deterrent works on a high frequency that is inaudible to people and birds, and while some other animals can hear it, it is designed to be unpleasant only to cats, and to keep them away from a specific area. Being sound-based, a cat with defective hearing may not be able to hear the sound, and some individual cats including Siamese appear not to respond.

Professor Cat Shat has spoken...

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Get a broom and sweep the cat shit off the decking.

Alternatively, go into a pet shop and by the biggest, grouchiest, snarlingest, barkiest dog you can find.



More humanely, I've heard pepper and citrus fruits are particularly repellent to cats. Or you could get a water pistol or hose and squirt all cats who come near. They tend to get the message sooner or later.

Are you sure it's not a fox or a badger or something similar?

 

[Dr Schnell]

Get a broom and sweep the cat shit off the decking.

Alternatively, go into a pet shop and by the biggest, grouchiest, snarlingest, barkiest dog you can find.



More humanely, I've heard pepper and citrus fruits are particularly repellent to cats. Or you could get a water pistol or hose and squirt all cats who come near. They tend to get the message sooner or later.

Are you sure it's not a fox or a badger or something similar?

Fox shit absolutely reeks. If it's a fox I suggest a pack of hounds and a coupe of toffs on horses

 

[zefarelly]

Ive got a hose fitting which hooks up to the garden hose pipe and is propelled by my compressor . . .at 130 PSI it should be powerful to induce colonic irrigation on the average cat at fifty feet I'll conduct some tests this week

 

[Caveman]

Are you sure it's not a fox or a badger or something similar?

No sure it's a cat as they're often walking around the garden, chase them off but they are coming back at night for a clear out!

I'm tempted to find where the cat lives and go and shit on the owners lawn one evening, see how they like it, but not tonight as the Bristol ale seems to have had a funny side affect.

I don't get paid until the end of the week, has anyone got a spare Lion I could borrow...?

 

[ziggy]

Wan't me to send my "Wembley" round to chase it away?