[Help] Has anyone here been adopted ?

[Audax]

Here's the follow up, with a slightly more comical look at life in the early 70s. I've clearly read too much Alan Bennett. Actually, I take that back. No-one can read too much Alan Bennett.

A Life Like Everyone Else- 1973- Aged 4

I just pointed at a small present wrapped in purple tissue paper. He asked again, I pointed again, he then just gave up and handed me the bloody thing.

queensparkchronicles.wordpress.com

Thanks again for sharing!

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

This thread is yet another beautiful example of the rich tapestry of NSC life. Thank you all for sharing.
** apart from the one knob-head obviously **

Both me and Mrs SS are members of families where long-term wedlock and all kids,, nieces, nephews, grand-kids etc were born in wedlock so I cannot imagine how it might feel to have a "missing piece of the jigsaw" like this in your life.

We both watch long-lost families and seldom can we get to the end of an episode without reaching for the Kleenex.

My details are not on any DNA system, but I do sometimes wonder if there is a person out there who is a result of a one-night stand I played a part in. Those 18-30 holidays in the 1980's were highly promiscuous times and a fair amount of wild oats were sown ....

 

[Dave the OAP]

I agree and refreshing to share. I felt ashamed for many years, which I can see now was wrong and I was very lucky in that I had amazing parents

Never feel ashamed of who or what you are matey!

best of luck getting closure in this.

cheers
dave.

 

[Flounce]

I agree and refreshing to share. I felt ashamed for many years, which I can see now was wrong and I was very lucky in that I had amazing parents

Shame is definitely not something you should feel, you had no say at all

 

[portslade seagull]

My wife was fostered when her mum was admitted to an asylum when she was 8yrs old. Didn't stay long as she was abused by the whole family and eventually went to stay with her gran until mum recovered. Nothing happened to the family

 

[Austrian Gull]

What an emotional read. I was also adopted as a baby and have for decades mulled over whether to contact my biological parents. I've always felt that what I would find out wouldn't be a fairy story and so have left it - both my adoptive parents have died in recent years but I still tend to feel that I don't want to face the turmoil.

My sister (also adopted) did some research and found her biological mother and family living in Canada but she doesn't feel that it's been life-changing for her.

The most awkward thing for me was being born in Hastings and having to explain why even though I have never lived any closer to Hastings than Hassocks!

US - I never felt any shame about being adopted. You're one of NSC's good guys, in my eyes.

 

[BN9 BHA]

That might reflect the age profile of the NSC poster or reflect the massive size of the community.

Adoption numbers fell off a cliff in the late 60s, mainly thanks to the pill and changes in the abortion laws.

I don’t remember knowing about many people in my school classes that were also adopted. Maybe some didn’t know or didn’t mention it, but I went to an infant’s and junior school that was tight knit.
Secondary school it probably wouldn’t have been mentioned amongst classmates.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Yep I was. I feel very lucky never to feel that feeling of emptiness you describe.

Born in Brighton, adopted at 4 weeks, lived on the Isle of Wight but both of my parents were from Brigthon and we moved back when I was 2. So I've often wondered if I'd ever bumped into my biological parents. It's not that big of a city after all.

Curiosity is certainly there. But I don't think it's anything I'd ever act on.

 

[Durlston]

Reading through people's stories on here has been truly humbling.

I count my blessings that I have two beautiful parents I can look after and devote a lot of time to. Being single can feel lonely at times but I'm repaying the favour for a very happy upbringing. We can't have it all in life but I feel extremely lucky with what I've had and still got. My dad's made a tremendous recovery from a stroke he suffered in April 2022.

 

[Papak]

I too am surprised by the number of people posting in this thread with similar experiences to OP which I hope is of some comfort there seems to be a real sense of camaraderie among many of those posting here.

Are there likely to be (m)any others on NSC who don't know they are adopted at all?

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Nailed it here

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I hope this post has helped people of a similar position. Took me 20 years to post it

 

[Seagullsdave]

Nailed it here

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

You are a kindred spirit my friend never alone

 

[Seagullsdave]

You are a kindred spirit my friend never alone

Thank you. It means so much to me and has made me well up. First time I have ever told outside of my immediate family.

 

[Gwylan]

It's been really interesting reading this thread; I wasn't adopted but I can see it from the other side as both my kids are adopted (they are full siblings, although they have a half brother, adopted by a different family).

The process these days is very different.My kids have always had contact with their birth parents - they met once a year - until they were about 11. The elder one decided that she didn't want to see them and a year later, the younger followed suit. But they know who they are and if they ever wanted to get in touch, they could.

It must be difficult for anyone not knowing who their birth parents are, and the circumstances leading up to the adoption. I feel for you all.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I do know when my relationships end it utterly wipes me out to an extent it is not normal outsiders would label me as a wet wipe but I am more understanding of myself now. The one at age 58 who I utterly loved ended it and as a result bar a couple of flings I have decided to never put myself of rejection in that position again

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Thank you. It means so much to me and has made me well up. First time I have ever told outside of my immediate family.

Same here was a bold post but glad I did it. Made friends and contacts. PM me any time

 

[Seagull58]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

You are part of the Albion family, Dave.

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

Reduced me to tears @Seagullsdave - thank-you for sharing. I hope you'll chip in more now too.