[Help] Has anyone here been adopted ?

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

You are welcome here.

I suspect that many of us post on NSC because it provides an interaction that may be difficult in 'real life'. I was 62 when I discovered I am autistic. I have had some bad experiences posting on NSC but it seems to have worked . . . itself out. Anyone causing me grief is put on ignore.

I think NSC is the best of social media. A common interest, brilliant moderators.... it allows people who struggle in a noisy pub with testosterone everywhere to... interact with other people on their own terms.

Don't apologize or hesitate. Jump in. There are loads of brilliant people who read and post on here. And we all have something in common. The Albion!

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I do know when my relationships end it utterly wipes me out to an extent it is not normal outsiders would label me as a wet wipe but I am more understanding of myself now. The one at age 58 who I utterly loved ended it and as a result bar a couple of flings I have decided to never put myself of rejection in that position again

I had a sequence of relationships that all ended. The longest, 11 years, is the one I'm in now. Just about. Mrs T realized that there is something wrong with me and got me to test for autism 4 years ago. Bosh. It is still hard, but I now know that I simply can't process stuff like other people can. And I found I have had anxiety my whole life to the point it caused physical illness. Hardly surprising as I'm like a cactus in an orchid house. I can't pretend I have any insight into your mind. But you must never give up. Maybe your wiring makes you vulnerable. PM anytime.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

Keep posting Dave, we are all friends here

 

[Bry Nylon]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

Welcome Dave, it’s great to have you on board.

 

[Durlston]

I do know when my relationships end it utterly wipes me out to an extent it is not normal outsiders would label me as a wet wipe but I am more understanding of myself now. The one at age 58 who I utterly loved ended it and as a result bar a couple of flings I have decided to never put myself of rejection in that position again

I finally got my ears sorted out last Wednesday (ear wax removal thread) with my last appointment (from four). I built up a very friendly relationship with the lady who did them and decided to be really jolly and jokey with her the whole time, really making an effort to make her laugh. So I had my third appointment just before Christmas and got her a really nice present. She mentioned that she had a six year-old daughter who was incredibly excited about Santa Claus bringing her presents. No mention of a husband or boyfriend but I didn't ask because in all honesty it was none of my bloody business at all. So my last visit - when she called my name and smiled at me for what seemed like forever, my heart skipped a beat. I knew I was falling for her. Throughout I wasn't my usual chirpy self and I explained that I had toothache (the Anadin Extra had numbed my tooth but still felt very flat in myself). When it came to saying goodbye, my eyes filled with tears and I explained I was going to miss seeing her desperately. I left in a hurry and saw she was a bit overcome with me being upset.

Thursday I threw a sickie from work and felt a bit sorry for myself. But then I thought I got a fair way in knowing that she genuinely liked me for being such a ray of light and someone who brightened her day at work hugely. Gareth, humour can be a fantastic way to a girl's heart. New year, new hope!! Keep believing in yourself mate. We'll get there eventually with the ladies!!

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

I’ve read this a couple of times now. Thanks for finding the time and also the courage to share it. You state in another post this is the first time you have mentioned it outside of your family….maybe this will bring you some comfort?

Best wishes.

 

[Seagull]

Great supportive posts on here. Well done NSC. I found a couple of support resources that could be helpful.

PAC-UK | Adoption & Permanency: Advice, Support, Counselling & Training

www.pac-uk.org

Adoption UK Charity

Our vision is to create an equal chance of a bright future for every child unable to live with their birth parents. We work to secure the right support at the right time for the children at the heart of every adoptive and kinship care family.

www.adoptionuk.org