Funniest Simpsons gag EVER last night...discuss.

[perth seagull]

Ooh, also ...


Lisa (talking of ham, bacon, and pork chops): ... Dad, those all come from the same animal,

Homer: Oh, yeah, right, Lisa, some wonderful, magical, animal!

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Well done Repugnant Toad, they were the two that I was going to suggest!

 

[SussexSpur]

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Barney's film has heart. . .

But 'Football In The Groin' has a football in the groin. . .

 

[Dawsey]

Museum guy (to Lisa): You are banned from this establishment, you and your children and your children's children...........for 3 months!!

Always makes me laugh that one

 

[Porky]

Homer in an emergency,
"Quick operator give me the number for 911" {999 in the UK}

 

[Dawsey]

Homer: I don't do apologies. I'm sorry but thats just the way I am

 

[Stumpy Tim]

The one where Homer runs an illegal bootlegging company. The city is dry when Homer's bowling ball arrived full of beer.

Moe (to Barney): That's $249
Barney: 249 bucks! For one beer. It had better be the best beer I've ever had.
takes a swing
Barney: You got lucky.

Class

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

After my admission that I'd never played a computer game earlier this week, is this the right moment to say that I've never seen The Simpsons?

Am I the only person who doesn't have a clue what you're all talking about?

a digital watch ? what exactly is a digital watch ?


Gwylan - you are missing out on something. I rarely get an opportunity to watch it these days, but it is simply the funniest program on the telly. Every episode has at least one classic line, and every joke has a twist.

And I too have never played a computer game. Post Space-Invaders of course.

 

[gripper stebson]

Kent Brockman:

"Here we are live at the Springfield elections...and to prove we are live..........penus.!

 

[Robbo]

Too, too difficult. Like picking a favourite Beatles song.

But probably love the Colonel Homer episode most of all, thanks to combining personal passions of Elvis, country music, and Homer's finest words of wisdom. Couldn't narrow it down to a best moment, though.

Best moment for me in that episode was when Homer paid Lurleen a compliment:

Lurleen: Oh Homer, that's the nicest thing a guy has ever said to me without wanting something in return.

Homer: Well, errr, i was gonna ask for a glass of water, but now i feel kinda guilty.

 

[REDLAND]

Coke can in the paint mixer, April fools day episode

Marvellous

 

[Minghawk]

Homer: with 147 lottery tickets, we can't fail to win
Announcer: 17.....
Homer: D'oh!
tears tickets up
Marge: Homer, you can still win with 5 numbers
Homer begins picking tickets up
Announcer:8....
Homer: D'oh!
Homer: (to Bart): I picked your ages, if you were 8 we'd be winners, but oh no, you had to be 10

classic

 

[Tom Bombadil]

Hi I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from.....
>
> ....such educational films as "Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly," and
> "Here Comes the Metric System!"
>
> ....such fishing films as 'Cast Out' or 'The Reel Deal.'
>
> ....such films as "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" and "Dial 'M'
> for Murderousness".
>
> ....such films as "'P' is for Psycho" and "The President's Neck is
> Missing".
>
> ....such films as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" and "Gladys, the
> Groovy Mule".
>
> ....such films as "The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed" and "They Came to
> Burgle Carnegie Hall".
>
> ....such Fox Network Specials as "Alien Nose Job" and "The Five
> Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show".
>
> ....such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some
> Confidence, Stupid!"
>
> ....such nature films as "Earwigs: Ewwww" and "Man vs. Nature: The
> Road to Victory".
>
> ....such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye"
> and "Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge".
>
> ....such telethons as "Out With Gout '88" and "Let's Save Tony
> Orlando's House".
>
> ....such cartoons as "Christmas Ape" and "Christmas Ape goes to Summer
> Camp".
>
> ....such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the
> Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot".
>
> ....such TV spinoffs as "Son of Sanford and Son" and "After Mannix".
>
> ....such instructional videos as "Mothballing Your Battleship" and
> "Dig Your Own Grave and Save".
>
> ....such public service videos as "Designated Drivers, the Lifesaving
> Nerds" and "Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness".
>
> ....such medical films as "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore" and "Mommy,
> What's Wrong With That Man's Face?".
>
> ....such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield
> Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?".
>
> ....such Do-It-Yourself home videos such as "The half-assed approach
> to foundation repair"
>

 

[Pevenseagull]

"Homer, lets do lunch. You like Thai ?"

"Tie good. You like shirt ?"

yep

 

[Brovion]

Gwylan, I can only echo what DKM has said. The Simpsons is simply the best TV program ever made. There are far, far to many brilliant quotes and just seeing them in print doesn't do them justice.

Marge: Homer are you involved in supplying bootleg liquor?
Homer: Marge, I'm not going to lie to you. *walks off*

Homer (angrily): It takes two to lie Marge! One to lie and one to listen!

Marge: Hi Homie, where d'you get the suit?
Homer (High on medicinal marijuana): Woa Marge! One question at a time!

 

[Gwylan]

I'm sure it's great. It's not that I've made the conscious decision not to watch it - it's just that it's always on at about 6.00/6.30 in the evening and I generally don't get home from work until after 7.00.

Not all of us on NSC are students you know

 

[Lady Whistledown]

After my admission that I'd never played a computer game earlier this week, is this the right moment to say that I've never seen The Simpsons?

Am I the only person who doesn't have a clue what you're all talking about?

Good god man, that means you have no idea what my avatar for one is then?!

"the fingers you are using to dial, are too fat. To order a special dialling wand, mash the keypad with your palm, now"



Everyone's a winner (see also: Borealis, Aurora in kitchens, below).



The Simpson's funniest moments, could really be the longest thread ever.

 

[Robbie G]

It's not so much a gag, but i find the bloke that always says "Yeeeesss" hilarious.
I remember him saying "yesss" when The Simpsons go for a steak meal and he's their waitor, and also the time when Homer makes a donation to the Toy Store, and the bloke is on the phone to Mr Cosington (sp??)

 

[SussexHoop]

Homer admitting he couldn't swim and Bart went round for days just pissing himself laughing.

------------------------------

Homer filled out the application for a gun licence and the guy said 'OK, come back in 7 days'

'7 DAYS? BUT I'M ANGRY NOW!!!!'

 

[John Boy]

When everyone is trapped in church-

Lisa- (Praying silently for escape)

Bart- This is neither the time or the place

 

[Bluejuice]

How about when Homer goes all safety conscious about Maggie and encases the telephone in concrete:-

Marge: Homer, how is the telephone harmful to Maggie?

Homer: Baby could order poison

Marge: That's ridiculous

Homer uses a carrot to dial the number and hands the phone to marge

Voice on phone: Poison direct. A gift basket of poisons is on its way to your home.


genius