Funniest shout of abuse you have ever heard from a member of the crowd

[pasty]

We were away at Plymouth (not the promotion clincher in 2000) but earlier - probably 1990 something. - and after a particulalry heaavy challenge by paul McCarthy (I thnk), to bring down Keith Bertschin (I think) all of Home Park chanted

"You dirty northern bastard"

also sung by the north stand at the goldstone when we played Crawley in the cup

 

[Alex Alex Dawson oo! oo!]

Not sure if this was a regular thing or not as I tend to go to more away games than home, but Meridian Tv's finest and self confessed Pompy fan Andy Steggle was trying to do a live interview on the side of the pitch during the game at Withdean and the entire stand got up and pointed at him shouting "Andy Steggle, is a wank**r, is a wank**r..." You could see on his face he was getting more and more wound up each time he went to try again it got louder and louder, I still sometimes sing it to myself in my head, ha

The same happened to David Bobin at the promotion game vs Newcastle at St James' Park in 1979. He was the compulsory "Saints" sports presenter at Southern/TVS at the time; came out with a camera crew to do a pre-match scene setting piece in front of the away end and had 10,000 Brighton fans chanting this at him. Accurate and an amusing prelude to the greatest day in club's history during my 51 years of watching the stripes.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Away at Torquay in the cup Murray chased a through ball with not much enthusiasm - someone from the crowd shouted "come on Murray put some effort in" to which Murray shouted back "f*** OFF" made me chuckle

At the Goldstone, we were playing Leeds and Mel sterland picked the ball up and ran towards the goal, Wendy Wilkins ran by the side of him in that gay mincing run he used to do and I was apoplectic with rage when Sterland lashed the ball just over the bar. I yelled out " ...at least tackle him wendy you lazy sod"....to whit came a huge " f*** OFF" from the great man.

I felt honoured!

 

[Box of Frogs]

Back in the Goldstone days, a few mates and I used to stand in the North Stand.

One of our group (not so much a mate of mine but a mate of a mate) by the name of Kenny, used to delight in berating any opposition player who was nearing the end of his career with the same phrase "Oi (insert aging players name) you old c**t, its about time you jacked it in"!

I suppose you had to be there!

 

[crodonilson]

In the first ever installment of the Snooker Shoot Out this weekend (each game lasted 10 minutes), Ebdon and Steve Davies were having a bit of a safety exchange for the first four or five minutes and someone from the audience quipped 'this has got 0-0 written all over it'.



The rest of the audience and the players were in stitches.

 

[Marc]

In the first ever installment of the Snooker Shoot Out this weekend (each game lasted 10 minutes), Ebdon and Steve Davies were having a bit of a safety exchange for the first four or five minutes and someone from the audience quipped 'this has got 0-0 written all over it'.



The rest of the audience and the players were in stitches.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Not from the crowd, but i do remember us all standing round the centre circle one freezing remembrance Sunday as the ref blew for the traditional minutes silence.

A hung-over and bleary eyed team mate, a little confused, leaned over to me and asked "All this for Eamonn Andrews ?" (who had died the previous week)

*for all under 40's, Eamonn Andrews was an Irish television presenter*

 

[gripper stebson]

Notts County at Withdean. Sat in the South Stand we had just witnessed a poor off side decision in favour of our opponents.

Someone, in a moment of pure genius, sung:

"He is a linesman for the county."

Another was when we played Sheff United at Withdean they were singing "Are you Wednesday in disguise" someone retorted " Well it's not a very good disguise is it?"

Great thread by the way.

 

[Storer68]

Not abuse, but I do recall during a game in the first season at Pissfield, we played a team (someone wil recall which) whose goalkeeper wore a particulaly vile yellow and black hooped jersey. We hadn't seen this in much details during the first half, as he was at the other end but in the second half he was directly in front of all the Albion fans.

So that evertime he took a goal kick in front of the Albion fan during the second half, insetead of the obligatory "whoooooooooooo, you're shit, AAAGGGH!!!" chant, as he ran up to take a goal kick, he just got two thousand ish people going
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ you're shit AAGGHH""

 

[Peter Grummit]

A certain Norman Baker Suck My Lozenge a few years ago at Withdean, shouted out to Wendy Toms (who was running the line) after she just given offside against us, "Oi Wendy, get home & get the dinner on".
That raised a chuckle, but it got even better when 2 big angry duffle coat wearing butch lesbians objected to his comments.
I think he replied with something like, "That's all I need, 2 angry motor bikes; who wears the strap on?"

Makes Keys & Gray seem like new men!

The E block resident wag got a good response in to the lino at the recent Peterborough game. "linesman, linesman, you're useless, get back to mowing the lawn...and while your at it wash the car".

Well it made us laugh.

PG

 

[Art Vs Science]

In the first ever installment of the Snooker Shoot Out this weekend (each game lasted 10 minutes), Ebdon and Steve Davies were having a bit of a safety exchange for the first four or five minutes and someone from the audience quipped 'this has got 0-0 written all over it'.



The rest of the audience and the players were in stitches.

Brilliant

 

[Tomo1794]

Years ago my friend and I won tickets to the Arsenal v Spurs Charity Shield final. We were in a mixed section with lots of banter between fans. This Arsenal fan in front of us was sat on his own and was getting angrier and angrier at these Spurs fans ripping the piss out of all things Gunners. Feelings reached boiling point after a sustained period of anti-Arsenal abuse and this Arsenal fan jumped up out of his seat, his face incandescent with rage.

He stood there shaking, not able to get the words out of his mouth. Everyone else sat watching, waiting for the riposte. We were hoping for something worthy of Coward or Bernard Shaw. We weren't let down, he screwed his face up, pointed at them and yelled "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH" for a full 10 seconds. I laughed so much I pulled a stitch.

Only post on the thread which actually made me lol. The thought of it is actually so hilarious

 

[philsussex]

Away at Cheltenham about 4 seasons ago. There was all the usual Welsh related chants as you'd expect. There was also a rather large steward who was getting the 'who ate all the pies' chant. Somebody then changed it to 'who ate all the sheep'. Sounds quite lame when I talk about it now but found it bloody hilarious at the time (helped by the influence of excessive quantities of cider).

 

[KNC]

Game at Withdean a few years back a guy sitting nearby stood up and yelled in quite an angry tone "This referee is being totally ineffective!".

You probably had to be there but still makes me laugh to this day

I think I know who said that.

 

[foul old ron]

When the away stand was the family stand and the changing rooms were down there too.Burnley had a player called Paul Weller(whitehawk boy,his family apparently have(had) some shop in worthing).
During the warm up someone in the away crowd shouted out "weller" "weller" and he ran across the track to greets his "fans" the same bloke shouted out "Weller,your f***ing shit" apparently it was his brother.

That will be Pixies fruit and veg shop in Worthing and the brother is Clive. Nice guy.

 

[Kuipers Supporters Club]

When we were the away team at Gillingham.. They were giving gay abuse, and one bloke just shouted back
"At least i haven't got a washing machine in my front garden you ****! "

 

[Kuipers Supporters Club]

This year at Woking asking a steward for her number
then some one shouted "Give it to me or ill r*pe you " ..Christ.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Not abuse, but I do recall during a game in the first season at Pissfield, we played a team (someone wil recall which) whose goalkeeper wore a particulaly vile yellow and black hooped jersey. We hadn't seen this in much details during the first half, as he was at the other end but in the second half he was directly in front of all the Albion fans.

So that evertime he took a goal kick in front of the Albion fan during the second half, insetead of the obligatory "whoooooooooooo, you're shit, AAAGGGH!!!" chant, as he ran up to take a goal kick, he just got two thousand ish people going
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ you're shit AAGGHH""

It was against Mansfield, the goalkeeper had a bee-like jersey as you say, and for a period of time all you could hear whenever was the entire stand going bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Then someone piped up "What a waste of honey".

Followed by "You only sting when you're winning".

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Notts County at Withdean. Sat in the South Stand we had just witnessed a poor off side decision in favour of our opponents.

Someone, in a moment of pure genius, sung:

"He is a linesman for the county."

I guarantee that at least 40% of the posters on here will have no idea why that's funny

 

[Art Vs Science]

It was against Mansfield, the goalkeeper had a bee-like jersey as you say, and for a period of time all you could hear whenever was the entire stand going bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Then someone piped up "What a waste of honey".

Followed by "You only sting when you're winning".

Genius chanting!