Funniest shout of abuse you have ever heard from a member of the crowd

[TWOCHOICEStom]

The classic at the Goldstone, During a minutes silence, one voice shouted " f*** off back to Barnet, Codner." Its not really funny is it? It must just be that it's so unexpected but I remember lots of giggling at the time.

It shouldn't be... but that is hilarious!

 

[Kumquat]

Two for me - one when Les Briley came on for us as sub in the early nineties for his first game and someone in the North stand shouted "Make a name for yourself Les". Ther was a brief silence before someone else shouted "yeah, preferably Pele or Maradona you fat ****".

The second was in a fit of generosity standing with my sister who is a west ham fan in the west ham end when we beat them a few years back with a Guy Butters header. Just after he scored a west ham fan behind me who seemed on the verge of tears shouted as his players "Call yourself premiership? You're not even f*****g fish and chips!".

 

[Codner's Crackpipe]

Good thread.

I really enjoyed the raw frustration and blunt simplicity of "FIGHT FOR THE BALL YOU f***ing C***S!" heard at QPR away in 2006. It was aimed at the team in general but Chippy and Hammond specifically I think, who seemed to be engaged in a private invisible man contest. My friends and I adopted the phrase as our own, though it only really gets used during England matches these days.

 

[Lincoln Imp]

I have fond memories of a pretty posh person in the North Stand shouting: "Linesman, you're a turd." Nothing complicated but what a wonderful word, and so beautifully delivered.

The North Stand person who called a turbanned linesman who refused to flag for anything a "Blind Ali" was clever, but it didn't have the resonance of the turd.

 

[Gritt23]

Don't have the time to read the thread in full this morning, so appologies if already mentioned, but it was excellent, so would deserve a second airing anyway.

Early days (maybe first season) at Withers, and we were at home to Rotherham (I think). Anyway, the visiting centre half was Guy Branston, a great big brute of a centre half, who kicked us up in the air all afternoon. After one clattering challenge just in front of us, a bloke by me snapped, leaping from his seat he hurled a long drawn out volley of abuse at Guy. F-ing and blinding, but he needed a final killer line ...

"You f&*6ing animal, you've f678ing belted him all day, you f%^&ing piece of 5h17, you should f&*^ing well go for that .... and you're pickle's shite!"

Superb!

 

[Max Paper]

Not sure if this was a regular thing or not as I tend to go to more away games than home, but Meridian Tv's finest and self confessed Pompy fan Andy Steggle was trying to do a live interview on the side of the pitch during the game at Withdean and the entire stand got up and pointed at him shouting "Andy Steggle, is a wank**r, is a wank**r..." You could see on his face he was getting more and more wound up each time he went to try again it got louder and louder, I still sometimes sing it to myself in my head, ha

 

[shoreham moonraker]

when paul ince made his debut for us at wrexham away 3 or 4 seasons ago, he came on as a sub and immediately lined up to take a freekick. "go on son, make a name for yourself" came blairing out of a silent recreation ground.

 

[Simster]

Everytime Leeds are on the telly in the FA cup, it raises a chuckle at Simster Towers, as they bellow "ITV IS f***ing SHIT". It's a double win because not only is it funny and true, it all makes Clive Tyldsley shut the f*** up, because he doesn't know what to say.

It's a chant that I think we should all try at some point or other.

 

[Tubby Mondays]

Game at Priestfield against Rotherham I think. Bobby Mimms in goal for the opposition. Brighton totally crap as they were in them days and never having a shot. Way into the second half a voice from the Brighton end screams 'Mimms youre a disgrace! You havent done anything!'

 

[Wilko]

At Grimsby when we needed to win to stay up in the Championship. Grimsby scored and our end went deadly silent. Some bloke shouted:

'For f*** sake Grimsby, read the script'

ROFLS and LOLS all round.

 

[mcshane in the 79th]

Don't have the time to read the thread in full this morning, so appologies if already mentioned, but it was excellent, so would deserve a second airing anyway.

Early days (maybe first season) at Withers, and we were at home to Rotherham (I think). Anyway, the visiting centre half was Guy Branston, a great big brute of a centre half, who kicked us up in the air all afternoon. After one clattering challenge just in front of us, a bloke by me snapped, leaping from his seat he hurled a long drawn out volley of abuse at Guy. F-ing and blinding, but he needed a final killer line ...

"You f&*6ing animal, you've f678ing belted him all day, you f%^&ing piece of 5h17, you should f&*^ing well go for that .... and you're pickle's shite!"

Superb!

That is brilliant

 

[Mendoza]

I was at the Hove watching cricket, there was a hot tub, and a fat guy got in. It was being shown on the big screen. Then someone shouted "OIIIIII FATTY YOUR ELBOW LOOKS LIKE A KNEE"

This someone is a poster on NSC, who had had a couple of drinks

 

[Barrow Boy]

Our first season in the old Div 1 we won our first game against Bolton at the Goldstone 3-1. We were stood right at the front of the West stand terrace next to the pitch, great big lump of a defender for Bolton (can't remember who it was) came to take a throw in in front of us. Just as he was about to throw the ball some bloke behind us shouted "Oi, number five, how tall are you? 'cause I didn't know they could pile shit that high".

 

[cattlin'srockshop]

Birmingham City at the Goldstone in 85 or 86 I think old Div 2. In a strong brummie accent a rather portly City fan shouted at the rather portly defender of theirs: Billy Wright! You're like a bloody great big beached Whale.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Not sure if this was a regular thing or not as I tend to go to more away games than home, but Meridian Tv's finest and self confessed Pompy fan Andy Steggle was trying to do a live interview on the side of the pitch during the game at Withdean and the entire stand got up and pointed at him shouting "Andy Steggle, is a wank**r, is a wank**r..." You could see on his face he was getting more and more wound up each time he went to try again it got louder and louder, I still sometimes sing it to myself in my head, ha

Remember that, bloody hilarious! And if I remember correctly, there were quite a few singing it and it was really loud. Steggles really didn't know how to cope with it.

 

[Storer68]

We were away at Plymouth (not the promotion clincher in 2000) but earlier - probably 1990 something. - and after a particulalry heaavy challenge by paul McCarthy (I thnk), to bring down Keith Bertschin (I think) all of Home Park chanted

"You dirty northern bastard"

 

[Storer68]

Our first season in the old Div 1 we won our first game against Bolton at the Goldstone 3-1. We were stood right at the front of the West stand terrace next to the pitch, great big lump of a defender for Bolton (can't remember who it was) came to take a throw in in front of us. Just as he was about to throw the ball some bloke behind us shouted "Oi, number five, how tall are you? 'cause I didn't know they could pile shit that high".

That might have been Sam Allardyce!!!

 

[Alex Alex Dawson oo! oo!]

That might have been Sam Allardyce!!!

I thought that too.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

North Stand of the Goldstone early 90s..it was a early FA cup round replay, I think against Sudbury, may have been Canvey Island... a team of part timers anyway. George Parris loses the ball in the middle of the park to one of their players when from the back of the stand I heard..."Come on George, he's a postman for f**ks sake..." cue much mirth all around...

Still one of the best lines I've heard!

 

[Marc]

not during a match but at my local pub we we're watching a random collection of Sunday matches, plenty of crap chanting whilst drunk then it fell deadly quiet, my mate who does'nt like football just stood up and shouted "FOOOTBAAAAAALLLLLL!" bloody funny, had to be there kinda thing!