Funniest shout of abuse you have ever heard from a member of the crowd

[severnside gull]

I was in the wrong end when Calvin Andrew scored for us at Bristol Rovers a couple of years ago and one of their supporters clearly thought he should have been flagged offside. He shouted at the linesman "Oi lino! If you f*** your missus like you're f***ing this match no wonder she's shagging someone else!"

 

[brunswick]

not sure what game but one minute silence and someones phone rang....he answered and shouted

"CAN'T SPEAK, QUEEN MUMS DEAD, HAVING A ONE MINUTE SILENCE"

.....very funny.

 

[The Ringleader Returns!]

You get your shoes from sportsworld...

 

[Alex Alex Dawson oo! oo!]

From the east terrace at the Goldstone during the early seventies a woman shouted:
"Open your legs and run O'Sullivan, nothing's going to fall out".

 

[porkypie]

There was once a bloke in the south stand who always shouted "axe him"!

 

[seagullwedgee]

"Lino, you're a fcuking wakner ........... what a shame your Dad wasn't"

 

[Spamdrew]

Hey schmichael

So it was the man city game, I was in the east stand. Behind Kasper schmichael in goal. There was a guy with a megaphone who would stand up every 10 minutes and shout "hey schmichael, you're shit!!" - I think he got thrown out of the stands

 

[Superphil]

On Micky Adams return to Withdean as manager [of Leicester?] someone in G block stood up and started singing 'Micky Adams is a gay homosexual'. Wierd, and a little bit funny.

 

[Phoenix Arrow]

Doesn't qualify but. I don't remember who the other side was, but they had the lead going into injury time and were singing "full time supporters" as people were taking off. We scored and half their crowd left.

Another one, this guys yells out "SHOOT!" The player skies is and he goes "DON'T SHOOT FROM THERE!"

 

[Mr Smggles]

So it was the man city game, I was in the east stand. Behind Kasper schmichael in goal. There was a guy with a megaphone who would stand up every 10 minutes and shout "hey schmichael, you're shit!!" - I think he got thrown out of the stands

I remember this. He also shouted "Your Dad thinks your shit."

 

[Acker79]

At the colchester game on tuesday someone in the south stand roughly F block, yelled out some comment about the linesman not being a woman so making a wrong call or something. Several people laughed, except it wasn't funny and it didn't actually make any sense, because the linesman hadn't been in a position to make a decision. It was as if that fan had worked on that joke all weekend and rather than waiting for the lino to make a questionable decision, decided to yell it out in the first moment of enough quiet after kick off.

Then of course there's the idiot telling the ref to learn the rules while citing complete nonsense. He will frequently yell at our players for what they are doing (while sarcastically mocking the fans who want hoofball), one particular instance was early this season where we took a short corner. He yelled out that they should stop wasting their time with short corners as they never work, just as he finished this critique, Lualua booted the ball into the back of the net.

 

[Dave the OAP]

not sure what game but one minute silence and someones phone rang....he answered and shouted

"CAN'T SPEAK, QUEEN MUMS DEAD, HAVING A ONE MINUTE SILENCE"

.....very funny.

peterboro away?

 

[the wanderbus]

at the Goldstone, I think against liverpool, the physio is on to treat an injured player when someone in the south stand shouts " If he wont get up f***ing bury him"

 

[Amex_Charlie]

it was at the withdean against mansfeild in the fa cup round 3. They were angry with there chairman so they had posters. they were 2-1 up and an old man standy up thinking they can hear him " where are your posters you twats" then " no awnser hey?, just coz your winning you think your all high and mighty " It was funny at the time

 

[Helen Chamberlains Quim]

"Don't get too excited pal, you have hardly made it - a league one sub who aint getting on today. Even I probably earn more than you, you no mark XR3i driving ****."

Just enough for the other Southend subs to drag their reserve keeper away before he kicked off.

HCQ

 

[smudge]

A certain Norman Baker Suck My Lozenge a few years ago at Withdean, shouted out to Wendy Toms (who was running the line) after she just given offside against us, "Oi Wendy, get home & get the dinner on".
That raised a chuckle, but it got even better when 2 big angry duffle coat wearing butch lesbians objected to his comments.
I think he replied with something like, "That's all I need, 2 angry motor bikes; who wears the strap on?"

Makes Keys & Gray seem like new men!

 

[acrossthepond]

Not quite the same thing, but was at an FA Youth cup final between man u and leeds at elland road in the early nineties.

The eighty year old nutter standing next to me kept yeliing. "Ey, rip that ****'s leg off and hit him with the messy end"

I had to move, I was laughing so hard

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

Years ago my friend and I won tickets to the Arsenal v Spurs Charity Shield final. We were in a mixed section with lots of banter between fans. This Arsenal fan in front of us was sat on his own and was getting angrier and angrier at these Spurs fans ripping the piss out of all things Gunners. Feelings reached boiling point after a sustained period of anti-Arsenal abuse and this Arsenal fan jumped up out of his seat, his face incandescent with rage.

He stood there shaking, not able to get the words out of his mouth. Everyone else sat watching, waiting for the riposte. We were hoping for something worthy of Coward or Bernard Shaw. We weren't let down, he screwed his face up, pointed at them and yelled "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH" for a full 10 seconds. I laughed so much I pulled a stitch.

 

[Scotty Mac]

does anyone remember that video of the leeds united scoring at withdean, and a very loud and very audible scream of "C.UNT" was picked up by the cameras?

 

[Albalbion]

funniest one ive ever seen is that video that was on here a while ago, the fan having a go at his team for losing to port vale... HILARIO