Favorite old sick jokes.

[pasty]

Circa 1982 - Topical at the time.

What have Princess Grace of Monaco and Sue Barker got in common?

They both got f***ed by cliffs

 

[shingle]

John Smith=ex leader of the labour party died around the same time as Formula one driver Ayrton Senna.

The Joke at the time was

Whats the difference between John Smith's wife, and Ayrton Senna's wife. John Smith's wife got to keep the car.

 

[Quentin]

Q: Whats got 8 legs and a big black c**t?

A: The A team

 

[Insel affe]

during the shooting of the return of the musketeers.....

what runs around spain topless...........

Roy Kinner`s horse

 

[R. Slicker]

Really sick & really old sorry
How does a Northerner know when his sister is having her period?

He can taste blood on his dads cock.

 

[Guy Fawkes]

Old and sick by here goes

statistically 9 out 10 people enjoy gang rape

Michael Ryan was someone who got easily confused and often took things far too literal, imagine his wife's guilt after asking him to shoot up Hungerford High Street for a loaf of bread

 

[Insel affe]

i bit naughty.....new orleans

who said the americans were thick..........after all they built a city below sea level and filled it with N*g*e*s

 

[Guy Fawkes]

Whats the only part of a cabbage that you can't eat?...the wheelchair

Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. - Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. - Please give just a small donation of £2 and we will send you the video; it's f***ing hilarious!

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

Fairly tame but still old:

What do you call a man with a horse on his head?

Roy Kinnear

 

[Eggmundo]

Bloke phones work in the morning to say he can't come in as he is sick.
Boss says "What do you mean you're sick, how sick are you?"
Bloke replies "Well I'm currently in bed with my 12 year old daughter."

 

[Guy Fawkes]

I got fired on my first day working for Tesco's
I was working on the wines and spirits section when a Polish man came up to me and asked me whether i could you recommend a good port?
I said "Yes, Dover - now F@ck off"

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

I got fired on my first day working for Tesco's
I was working on the wines and spirits section when a Polish man came up to me and asked me whether i could you recommend a good port?
I said "Yes, Dover - now F@ck off"

 

[bright1064]

Dodi Al Fayed and Henri-Paul get to heavens gates.
Dodi turns round to Henri-Paul and says 'I told you I wanted to f*** Di in the tunnel, NOT f***ing DIE in the tunnel'.

 

[Insel affe]

How does every ethnic joke start?



By looking over your shoulder.

 

[Robot Chicken]

Is this an appropriate time to post the link for Sickipedia?

www.sickipedia.org

 

[Insel affe]

What's black and screams like f***?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron

 

[Insel affe]

Is this an appropriate time to post the link for Sickipedia?

www.sickipedia.org

yeah

 

[public school boy]

what do you get if you cross a West Indian with a Pakistani?
A car thief that can't drive

 

[larus]

Last words heard on the Space Shuttle Challenger. "Go on, if she wants to drive,let her. What harm can it do?"

Last words from the Mayor of Hiroshima "What the f*** was that?".

What's blue and fucks old ladies? Hypothermia.

What's the difference between Basil Brush and a Suicide bomber? Basil Brush goes "Boom Boom".

What goes plink, plink, fizz? 2 babies in an acid bath.

New one. A films going to be made about Jade Goody. It's called "A wedding, 4 weeks and a funeral".

 

[element]

What would it take to re-unite The Beatles?...

Two bullets


Tickets are on sale for the forthcoming Bee Gees tour...

33% off


What's green and can't climb trees?...

Marc Bolan's Mini