Favorite old sick jokes.

[Barrow Boy]

Doctor "I've got some bad news and some good news for you"

Patient "What's the bad news?"

Doctor "You've got Aids and Altzheimers desease"

Patient "For f**ks sake, how can there be any good news"

Doctor "By the time you get home you'll have forgotten about the Aids"

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

What do you call a "blacks only" abortion clinic?

Crimestoppers

 

[public school boy]

what's red and stands in the corner.
A naughty bus

 

[Garage_Doors]

Whats black & rusty and sit outside of a chruch.
Terry Waites Bike

 

[Garage_Doors]

What do you call 5 dogs with no Bollocks ?

Spice Girls

 

[Garage_Doors]

If Necrophilia is Dead Boring.

Is incest relative fun ?

 

[public school boy]

what's covered in ginger hair,pink in the middle and stinks of fish?
The Ginger Spice's c u n t

 

[LABHA]

Police have found Elizabeths Fritzls Diary, Monday: Stayed at home,dad came round and f***ed me,Tuesday:Got f***ed by my dad, Wednesday: Got f***ed by Dad, Thursday: Dad came round f***ed me again,Fridayad f***ed me again, Saturday: Went to watch Man Utd play,ps,i wish i had stayed at home.

 

[KZNSeagull]

Why did the back street abortionist go out of business??

His ferret died

 

[Insel affe]

A cannibal walks into the clearing his tribe uses for a toilet. He sees his best friend having a shit and crying his eyes out.
"What's wrong with you?" he asks.
His pal looks up at him with watery eyes and says "I've just dumped my girlfriend."

 

[Big G]

What's got one ball and fucks women?



Peter Sutcliffe's hammer.......

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts.


What do you call a Frenchman jumping off a cliff?

A start.

 

[Race]

whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven hawkins in a house fire

 

[Pork Sword]

What's pink and covered in cobwebs?

Madeleine McCann's bike.

I have laughed at that joke all day today. Told my Mrs though and she said I was a 'tosser'.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

whats the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?


you cant gargle sand

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Who put this on Sickipeda then?

So I was reading in the local paper today (The Argus) that teachers, alongside doctors and nurses, are going to be trained to spot potential terrorists in the classroom before they can become radicalised.

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but out of a group of kids it can't be that hard to pick out the foreign-looking Islamic one with a funny name, can it?

 

[Insel affe]

The animals have just re released there hit single for the charity

"There was a house in New Orleans"

 

[russian205]

Who put this on Sickipeda then?

So I was reading in the local paper today (The Argus) that teachers, alongside doctors and nurses, are going to be trained to spot potential terrorists in the classroom before they can become radicalised.

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but out of a group of kids it can't be that hard to pick out the foreign-looking Islamic one with a funny name, can it?

Mate your ignorance suggest ou may be related to jade goody, can you go and die please like her.

 

[User removed 4]

Gentlemen, without wishing to spoil your fun, could I remind you to refrain from any racist 'jokes' otherwise the thread will be locked.

I thank you.

so a joke is acceptable if its about a missing 5 year old who has probably been abducted, raped and murdered by paedophiles, but a racist one isnt ?? Some seriously twisted values on here YOU f***ing HYPOCRITES .

 

[Garage_Doors]

Mate your ignorance suggest ou may be related to jade goody, can you go and die please like her.

If you like the the heat, don't go into the kitchen.

You know what this thread is about, so why come if your going to be offended.