Favorite old sick jokes.

[public school boy]

what's yellow and hangs between two sticks?
A septic cripple

 

[element]

What's the difference between a lorry load of sand and a lorry load of babies?

You can't unload a lorry load of sand with a pitchfork

 

[elwheelio]

What's pink and covered in cobwebs?

Madeleine McCann's bike.

 

[element]

What's the difference between Baby Spice and a Kit Kat?

You only get four fingers in a Kit Kat

 

[element]

What's green and goes red at the flick of a switch?

A frog in a liquidiser

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

Shipman's last meal was a curry. When asked afterwards if he enjoyed it, he replied that it was OK but he could've murdered a nan.

Knock knock..
Who's there?
Doctor...
Doctor Who?
No Doctor Shipman, is your Gran in?

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

What's grey and smells of curry?

...John Major's cock.

(God that's horrible)

 

[element]

What's got 100 legs and stinks of piss?

A conga line at an old people's home

 

[bright1064]

What's grey and smells of curry?

...John Major's cock.

(God that's horrible)

 

[elwheelio]

It is now illegal to wear your clothes on the wrong part of your body.

Take Gary Glitter for example; he was jailed for putting a Thai on his cock.

 

[The Large One]

What's old and grey and smell of ginger?

Fred Astaire's face

 

[robbo2u]

How can you tell if an Ethiopian has been sick?

His mates are around him with spoons!!!

 

[elwheelio]

Why don't Catholics use condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

 

[element]

Crystal Palace

Er, probably overstepped the mark on taste with that one

 

[Guy Fawkes]

Whats pink and smells of holly?,,,,Ian Huntley's cock

 

[Race]

whats black and white and starving hungry? Jill Dando's cat!

 

[fatbadger]

What's green and can't climb trees?...

Marc Bolan's Mini

I heard Marc Bolan was on the radio yesterday. And the dashboard, and the bonnet, and the tree.

 

[El Presidente]

Whats pink and smells of holly?,,,,Ian Huntley's cock

 

[Insel affe]

Di and Dodi are in the car on the way home from a night out on the town in Paris. Di says to Dodi "Why don't we stay at my place tonight?".
Dodi replies "No, I insist we stop at my place.". So Dodi and Di proceed to have a big argument about this, at which point the driver turns round and says "Look, if you can't decide, why don't we just crash here for the night?"!

 

[El Presidente]

Gentlemen, without wishing to spoil your fun, could I remind you to refrain from any racist 'jokes' otherwise the thread will be locked.

I thank you.