Do you WIPE standing up or sitting down?

[Titanic]

The 'standing' option seems fraught with dangers. What do you 'standers' do to ensure that semi-detached clingons don't fall off into your undergarments when you stand up??

 

[John Bumlick]

When I saw your Username, I wasn't totally sure that I wanted to read your manner of cleansing post ablutions.

if i could do what you appear to be suggesting, I'd probably be famous.

 

[Seagull over Canaryland]

This thread also prompts another question; how many always and without exception wash their hands thoroughly after a no.1, let alone a no.2?

Reminds me that while using the plumbing at HT during the Bolton game at The Amex a little lad stood waiting for his Dad caused much amusement by shouting 'he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't....' pointing boldly at a succession of punters concluding their business in the Gentlemens water closet. Presumably it was his Dad who then asked the lad 'what didn't they do?...' to which the lad replied 'none of them washed their hands Eeurgh!!'. Caused great amusement and several punters appeared sufficiently embarrassed by this little lad to do a u-turn and wash their hands before heading back onto the concourse.. Even better he then pointed out several of the aforesaid unwashed punters queueing for a pie and a pint........ brilliant. But not so good from a hygiene point of view......

 

[gregbrighton]

 

[Mowgli37]

As a student of Archaeology I like to emulate our Roman forefathers with the sponge and stick method.

 

[symyjym]

I'm a THREE sheet man,* so making them twice as long would remove that as an option.




* Unless it's near the end of the roll when I switch to two, I don't want to be the one who changes it.

But you could still fold to make 3 layers without perferations spoiling it.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Laying down?

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

This thread also prompts another question; how many always and without exception wash their hands thoroughly after a no.1, let alone a no.2?

Reminds me that while using the plumbing at HT during the Bolton game at The Amex a little lad stood waiting for his Dad caused much amusement by shouting 'he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't....' pointing boldly at a succession of punters concluding their business in the Gentlemens water closet. Presumably it was his Dad who then asked the lad 'what didn't they do?...' to which the lad replied 'none of them washed their hands Eeurgh!!'. Caused great amusement and several punters appeared sufficiently embarrassed by this little lad to do a u-turn and wash their hands before heading back onto the concourse.. Even better he then pointed out several of the aforesaid unwashed punters queueing for a pie and a pint........ brilliant. But not so good from a hygiene point of view......

I'd have given the kid a THICK ear

 

[El Presidente]

The 'standing' option seems fraught with dangers. What do you 'standers' do to ensure that semi-detached clingons don't fall off into your undergarments when you stand up??

I think the technical term to which you refer is the 'bonus ball'.

 

[Baldseagull]

I have a football related tale, of the possible pitfalls of sitting.

I sit, shifting all my weight on to one buttock to gain access, this is the normal method of doing things in my opinion, and anyone who chooses to stand is clearly not quite right. However, I was forced to seek an alternative strategy after a half time dump in the executive boxes (portacabins) at Selhurst a couple of seasons ago. The shifting of 15st of weight onto one buttock was too much for the cheap plastic seat and fittings, and the seat shot out from under me, under the gap at the bottom of the side wall and off towards the urinals. Thankfully, the walls of the cubicle were made of slightly stronger material and this prevented me from creating, and sitting in, the sort of mess that upsets Ian Holloway, and I was able to perform a satisfactory wipe in a downhill skier type position. So, sitters, beware of cheap seats and crappy fixings.

 

[Baldseagull]

This thread also prompts another question; how many always and without exception wash their hands thoroughly after a no.1, let alone a no.2?

Reminds me that while using the plumbing at HT during the Bolton game at The Amex a little lad stood waiting for his Dad caused much amusement by shouting 'he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't....' pointing boldly at a succession of punters concluding their business in the Gentlemens water closet. Presumably it was his Dad who then asked the lad 'what didn't they do?...' to which the lad replied 'none of them washed their hands Eeurgh!!'. Caused great amusement and several punters appeared sufficiently embarrassed by this little lad to do a u-turn and wash their hands before heading back onto the concourse.. Even better he then pointed out several of the aforesaid unwashed punters queueing for a pie and a pint........ brilliant. But not so good from a hygiene point of view......

I have to confess that i rarely wash after a pee at the Amex, I can confirm though that I do not piss on my fingers and my old boy is probably the cleanest thing I have touched since leaving the house, having been housed in a clean pair of undies directly after showering.

 

[sussex_guy2k2]

I like to sit. Going for a poo is one of life's great joys and why would I interrupt that by standing up to wipe my bum when I can do it from the comfort of a germ infested seat?

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

who the hell wipes standing? absurd

Edit:quite a few weirdo's judging by the poll..............for scientific reasoning i shall give it a try....cant see getting right up there for a good clean from that angle but still i shall...

 

[gregbrighton]

I'm feeling queasy now.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

I've got a bad back which makes it somewhat difficult early mornings - a half up crouch and plenty of cursing, following by a good scrub.

 

[jameswestport]

Interesting results

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

Interesting results

odd i'd say,perhaps i have not lived,never heard of it,considered it or even knew such like.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

 

[Wrong-Direction]

This forum has really gone down the pan.

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

This forum has really gone down the pan.

i know,absolute toilet.