Do you WIPE standing up or sitting down?

[El Presidente]

Wow, look at those poll results!

Remind me never to touch any of your arses!

That's not what you said the night we met under the pier sweetcheeks xx

 

[KingstonSeagull]

Too much risk of drippage on the arm when sitting

 

[dingodan]

That's not what you said the night we met under the pier sweetcheeks xx

Dirty Bugger.

 

[SwedishSonna]

Equally as important... are you a folder or a scruncher?

 

[dingodan]

I'll tell you what I do-do.

Paper in the toilet before hand, to avoid splash back.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

 

[Don Quixote]

You're supposed to wipe?

 

[BlockDpete]

Sit down, though bringing yoga into the thread (indeed why not), I think the sitting position replicates a pose which opens the bowels anyway.

So does run the risk of secondary movements once the main detris has been cleared, thus prolonging the stay on the throne.

So maybe standing up, would delay the onset of this movement, to another time................hopefully at work.

 

[skipper734]

 

[Meade's Ball]

Surely if someone is that posh, say royalty, they have people who do it for them?

If I were royalty I'd pay a dwarfish type minimum wage to capture my opulent droppings in, at first, a baseball mitt type glove down in the rose-petal-scented bowl, mostly to prevent unwanted splashback. And then begin to wipe away in a circular motion with their remaining hand, perhaps even finishing matters with an oral waft onto my pouting anus. I'd expect one of my science underlings to work on a more modernised machine to help the little chap carry out my business over time. As a generous royal thinking of the people, I'd allow my minute cack tip wielder to own and sell whatever he catches. If I heard a plop touch water or for music to come out from little earphones in his waterproof suit, knowing he wasn't pay full attention, I would have him mercilessly tortured, though, or fed to one of my Windsor gibbons.

 

[symyjym]

Good point about making the individual sheets twice as long. Surprised it hasn't been done.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Wi...ping? What is this thing you speak of?

Surely we all scoot along the floor on our backsides after our business is done? Just me?

 

[8ace]

Start off sitting, finish standing up.

 

[Phat Baz 68]

My slave does it she i rather good

 

[John Bumlick]

depends if i feel like i just dropped a masterpiece and feel the need to admire it for a moment before bidding farewell

 

[John Bumlick]

Good point about making the individual sheets twice as long. Surprised it hasn't been done.

but surely if using the bare minimum as specified, the perforations ensure an even fold?

 

[Badger]

Start off sitting, finish standing up.

This. I used to EXCLUSIVELY stand up for wiping, blissfully unaware that sitting was considered an option. Since discovering the strange new world of the SIT WIPE I do the MAJORITY of it sitting down, and stand up to get anything I may have missed.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

depends if i feel like i just dropped a masterpiece and feel the need to admire it for a moment before bidding farewell

When I saw your Username, I wasn't totally sure that I wanted to read your manner of cleansing post ablutions.

 

[Badger]

Good point about making the individual sheets twice as long. Surprised it hasn't been done.

I'm a THREE sheet man,* so making them twice as long would remove that as an option.




* Unless it's near the end of the roll when I switch to two, I don't want to be the one who changes it.

 

[Grombleton]

I love threads like these. Regardless of how old you are, poo and poo jokes are FUNNY