[Misc] Christmas and mental health...the annual thread

[Zeberdi]

Here's a message for people who are expecting a nice Christmas. Enjoy it. Why not? If you have family, be warm for them. I'm 65 and will be doing what I can to put a smile on the faces of my family. I can wallow in my own miasma at a later date. FFS.

Well done Harry - glad you get to spend Christmas with your loved ones

 

[Cotton Socks]

Here's a message for people who are expecting a nice Christmas. Enjoy it. Why not? If you have family, be warm for them. I'm 65 and will be doing what I can to put a smile on the faces of my family. I can wallow in my own miasma at a later date. FFS.

That's just reminded me to add a dictionary to my Xmas list just in case google ever breaks!

 

[sydney]

Here's a message for people who are expecting a nice Christmas. Enjoy it. Why not? If you have family, be warm for them. I'm 65 and will be doing what I can to put a smile on the faces of my family. I can wallow in my own miasma at a later date. FFS.

just put my daughter on a plane to the Phillipines , she is volunteering for 3 weeks in remote areas , in a few hours i will go and see a 43 year old mate of mine who has days to live with metastatic c.....this afternoon i have my works christmas do which i have to attend as i have the company credit card .....it has been and will be an emotional day , all the best H , you know despite all the harsh words there is no ill feeling mate , it really is just banter...

 

[Zeberdi]

just put my daughter on a plane to the Phillipines , she is volunteering for 3 weeks in remote areas , in a few hours i will go and see a 43 year old mate of mine who has days to live with metastatic c.....this afternoon i have my works christmas do which i have to attend as i have the company credit card .....it has been and will be an emotional day , all the best H , you know despite all the harsh words there is no ill feeling mate , it really is just banter...

Sorry to hear that - know we have had some banter on the match thread but don’t wish ill on anyone - hope your daughter enjoys her volunteering experience.

 

[essbee1]

Here's a message for people who are expecting a nice Christmas. Enjoy it. Why not? If you have family, be warm for them. I'm 65 and will be doing what I can to put a smile on the faces of my family. I can wallow in my own miasma at a later date. FFS.

"Miasma". That's going in the book Harry. Love it.

 

[bhafc99]

This could be a slightly odd and unsettling Christmas, I suspect, but not for necessarily the same mental heath issues others here are having to deal with.

At 14 and 10 years old, my kids are still young enough for Christmas to be exciting and special, and making sure they get that is my #1 priority.

However it will be the first one since my wife and I decided to divorce, so that will add a new dimension. We’re slowly working through the process, and still get on well enough, but it will make things different. And while the kids don’t know everything, they can sense a change.

Mind you, our situation is very different to most, as we haven’t properly lived together for a few years now already, with me working in Dubai and her and the kids in the UK. So actually ‘coming back as always’ but not ‘being together as always’ will be something to navigate.

And then, finally (and since the separation), I’ve met someone else in Dubai, who now means a lot to me. So being apart from her will impact me too. Plus keeping it from the ex, who’s as of yet unaware of this aspect…

So, yes. Tangled webs.

A lot to unwrap and digest, besides the gifts and the turkey…

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

just put my daughter on a plane to the Phillipines , she is volunteering for 3 weeks in remote areas , in a few hours i will go and see a 43 year old mate of mine who has days to live with metastatic c.....this afternoon i have my works christmas do which i have to attend as i have the company credit card .....it has been and will be an emotional day , all the best H , you know despite all the harsh words there is no ill feeling mate , it really is just banter...

Tackling the big jobs.....has to be done.
I always enjoy our little chats. I love your passion and occasional anger. There's something reassuringly steadfast about you x

 

[Lenny Rider]

Unfortunately it can’t apply to everyone on here due to age and circumstances but I have to say 10 months of being a Grandparent is an excellent aid for my ongoing mental health issues, so the first Xmas with my Stanley is probably one of most exciting things I’ve ever contemplated in my life.

It gets better as Harty Junior is adding to the brood with Hart The Younger due on 11th May.

But I’m very aware of the issues many others on here will have and to reiterate if anyone on here needs to talk PM me, or ring my 24 hour work number 01903 206299 and I will ring you straight back. (If you’re fairly local we can meet up)

Take care one and all,


Harty

 

[bhafc99]

Unfortunately it can’t apply to everyone on here due to age and circumstances but I have to say 10 months of being a Grandparent is an excellent aid for my ongoing mental health issues, so the first Xmas with my Stanley is probably one of most exciting things I’ve ever contemplated in my life.

It gets better as Harty Junior is adding to the brood with Hart The Younger due on 11th May.

But I’m very aware of the issues many others on here will have and to reiterate if anyone on here needs to talk PM me, or ring my 24 hour work number 01903 206299 and I will ring you straight back. (If you’re fairly local we can meet up)

Take care one and all,


Harty

Respect to you Ian, that’s a genuinely great offer to make.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Unfortunately it can’t apply to everyone on here due to age and circumstances but I have to say 10 months of being a Grandparent is an excellent aid for my ongoing mental health issues, so the first Xmas with my Stanley is probably one of most exciting things I’ve ever contemplated in my life.

It gets better as Harty Junior is adding to the brood with Hart The Younger due on 11th May.

But I’m very aware of the issues many others on here will have and to reiterate if anyone on here needs to talk PM me, or ring my 24 hour work number 01903 206299 and I will ring you straight back. (If you’re fairly local we can meet up)

Take care one and all,


Harty

Good man. Top post.

 

[shingle]

I love Christmas and am really looking forward to it, much more so than I have in previous years. I identify as Christian with a small C, so I have that added element. I dont do the commercial thingy any more now that my own children have grown up and I try and keep things as simple as possible. We always go to the Carol concert at Canterbury Cathedral on the 23rd, it started off just my brother and me but now there's about 7 or 8 of us who go, the drive through the east Sussex/Kent villages and countryside on a cold winters day is magical. I will take my young grandsons out to source a Christmas Tree from a local farm and I cant tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. Little Ollie whose now four has just discovered mince pies so he's round on Sunday and were going to make our own, which he's looking forward to. I understand though that this time of year can be a trigger point for many people including my own Mrs Shingle.

Wishing everyone the best

 

[shingle]

 

[Zeberdi]

Unfortunately it can’t apply to everyone on here due to age and circumstances but I have to say 10 months of being a Grandparent is an excellent aid for my ongoing mental health issues, so the first Xmas with my Stanley is probably one of most exciting things I’ve ever contemplated in my life.

It gets better as Harty Junior is adding to the brood with Hart The Younger due on 11th May.

But I’m very aware of the issues many others on here will have and to reiterate if anyone on here needs to talk PM me, or ring my 24 hour work number 01903 206299 and I will ring you straight back. (If you’re fairly local we can meet up)

Take care one and all,


Harty

Good post Lenny and very much appreciated - despite the majority of people saying how much they are looking forward to Christmas here, and telling people how they plan their to spend their time etc , there are some of us for whom it is going to be a major struggle, especially those who will be alone over the holiday period, dealing with people dying etc etc, so your offer of support is very touching. Sometimes it is easy to forgot this is an open forum and there are possibly many, many people who have not been brave enough to post anything out of fear so posts like yours are invaluable. It may even prove to be a lifeline.

 

[Chicken Run]

Mmm

- despite the majority of people saying how much they are looking forward to Christmas here, and telling people how they plan their to spend their time etc ,

I quickly reviewed the thread, I’ve found no more than 5-6 people who have stated a positive to Christmas, I think you’re over thinking it mate

 

[Zeberdi]

Mmm


I quickly reviewed the thread, I’ve found no more than 5-6 people who have stated a positive to Christmas, I think you’re over thinking it mate

can’t stand Christmas but I’m fortunate enough to be feeling great all round and am very happy with life.

Seriously glad for you but a little more empathy for those who have clearly admitted to not feeling anywhere near as good about life or the up and coming holidays as you do would not go amiss tbh.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Ignore

Enough now. If you want to put someone on Ignore, just do it. There’s no need to announce it and derail the thread.

Thanks

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Will always be my favourite time of year , however made significantly harder as lost my dad (66 years old) just before Xmas in 2021 so second year of trying to fill the void that he has left.

Thankfully my mum who was my major concern when he passed now has an active social life, is financially secure and will be retiring early next year, which takes the edge off.

Will always be a time of year that we will reflect on him missing from the memories and I doubt will ever get easier but learning to live with it.

We’ve made a conscious effort to install the importance of family and talking about it with the kids.

We try to give them the best Christmas we can every year and obviously prioritise them over ourselves.
We made a point of telling them some presents are from Santa and the majority from us which I hope goes some way to levelling out any perceived inequality of Santa’s love when talking presents with friends etc.

Enjoy and cherish it with those still around you and celebrate those that are longer with us

 

[Mr Banana]

West Sussex Mind are running their excellent service over Christmas, for anyone who wants support.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Seriously glad for you but a little more empathy for those who have clearly admitted to not feeling anywhere near as good about life or the up and coming holidays as you do would not go amiss tbh.

I think many of us have empathy, whatever our feelings.

Personally, I dislike this time of year more than any other. I don't generally get anxiety but I worry about the stupidest things. Have we got the kids too much or too little. Is that bird really reserved? What if they run out of sprouts? It's stupid first world problems when there's war and famine on elsewhere but it seems to be all I think of for a good week or more before hand. Then it's always ok on the day and I spend it cooking, drinking, eating and playing one of my Christmas playlists inspired by @chaileyjem 's excellent Spotify selections. I'm lucky, I've got wife, kids and dog here and a roof over my head. I can well imagine what it would be like without though and I think even the most positive of folk on here can too.

With that in mind, let's give everyone the space to use this thread and talk to each other. It's not a thread to be dominated by a couple of people. Everyone will have different feelings, different experiences. It doesn't mean that they are not sympathetic / empathetic to you or anyone else.

 

[pearl]

I can usually get past the loneliness of Christmas knowing that effectively it's 1 day before I can treat Boxing Day as a normal day by going to football. However, this year the scheduling has screwed this plan up for me.
Do not begrudge anyone having fun at this time of year, but for me it just brings into focus how empty my life actually is.
On the plus side no one to buy presents for means not being a slave to commercialism.

Your life need not be empty because you are on your own.
I live alone, but I'm not lonely. I have interests and fill my life with stuff I like doing ... nothing spectacular, just reading, arty stuff, listening to music, going for a walk about. All the best.