[Misc] Christmas and mental health...the annual thread

[AlbionBro]

Sad thing is you can feel alone in a packed room

Yes, very much so, our neighbour lost their husband, just a few weeks ago. Not sure what she is doing this Christmas, we would like to invite her around, but fear it's way to early, she may just want to grieve. I know I don't like over the top sympathy initially, but can handle it better later. I think we are all very different.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Yes, very much so, our neighbour lost their husband, just a few weeks ago. Not sure what she is doing this Christmas, we would like to invite her around, but fear it's way to early, she may just want to grieve. I know I don't like over the top sympathy initially, but can handle it better later. I think we are all very different.

Even when my wife was alive I always did the cooking and the hosting, this has continued. Since her passing the there's been a further two additions to the grandchildren and they still descend on me. I'm not one to think too heavy about the day and indeed am happy for a nice quiet Boxing Day. I notice the slight falsehoods though.

Financially it's been hard this year, starting a new business venture, this is certainly impacting my mood.

 

[Withdean South Stand]

Yes, very much so, our neighbour lost their husband, just a few weeks ago. Not sure what she is doing this Christmas, we would like to invite her around, but fear it's way to early, she may just want to grieve. I know I don't like over the top sympathy initially, but can handle it better later. I think we are all very different.

There is no perfect solution, but it would be a lovely gesture to invite her over - it really would. Maybe best expressed in a card through the door, but just letting her know she's welcome would be a wonderful thing to do. It might be too soon and she might not want to be around other people, but knowing you're there for her would be lovely.

The idea of feeling lonely in a packed room really resonated with me, @PILTDOWN MAN . Unfortunately, I have had a lot of loss over the course of this year and I've really tried to pull back from outbursts online generally and this forum specifically! I've been trying to spin about a hundred plates recently and I've been losing the thread of them left, right and centre. One of those plates is full time employment and I've been getting a lot of criticism from my boss for my performance, all of which is fair, but it's hard because I do have a lot happening and there's only so much a boss can reasonably allow for and I am falling well below my expected work performance. But I'm prioritising my friends and my family and doing what I have to to get by. I'm not doing enough at work and I know I am not, but my work does not change lives nor does it cost them so it's low risk to let things slide.

Anyway, I mostly wanted to come into this thread to share this song, which has been both immensely comforting and devastatingly impactful over the last few weeks. The depth of emotion in this song is extraordinary. "It feels like it's rained in my head for a hundred days". "I say I hate you when I don't, push you when you get too close". "I won't make excuses for the pain I've caused us both, Thank You for always standing by me even though sometimes bad things take the place where good things go".



Powerful. Merry Christmas everybody, look after yourselves.

 

[AlbionBro]

Even when my wife was alive I always did the cooking and the hosting, this has continued. Since her passing the there's been a further two additions to the grandchildren and they still descend on me. I'm not one to think too heavy about the day and indeed am happy for a nice quiet Boxing Day. I notice the slight falsehoods though.

Financially it's been hard this year, starting a new business venture, this is certainly impacting my mood.

Wishing you well, with you're hosting, as long as the roasties do not get burnt, you should have a nice time! I think most of us are feeling the pinch this year for different reasons. Good luck with the business venture, is it online? What sector is it in?

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Wishing you well, with you're hosting, as long as the roasties do not get burnt, you should have a nice time! I think most of us are feeling the pinch this year for different reasons. Good luck with the business venture, is it online? What sector is it in?

Dinner is a breeze fortunately.

Since leaving Asahi I'm now self employed selling old tat, sorry finest Antiques

 

[AlbionBro]

There is no perfect solution, but it would be a lovely gesture to invite her over - it really would. Maybe best expressed in a card through the door, but just letting her know she's welcome would be a wonderful thing to do. It might be too soon and she might not want to be around other people, but knowing you're there for her would be lovely.

The idea of feeling lonely in a packed room really resonated with me, @PILTDOWN MAN . Unfortunately, I have had a lot of loss over the course of this year and I've really tried to pull back from outbursts online generally and this forum specifically! I've been trying to spin about a hundred plates recently and I've been losing the thread of them left, right and centre. One of those plates is full time employment and I've been getting a lot of criticism from my boss for my performance, all of which is fair, but it's hard because I do have a lot happening and there's only so much a boss can reasonably allow for and I am falling well below my expected work performance. But I'm prioritising my friends and my family and doing what I have to to get by. I'm not doing enough at work and I know I am not, but my work does not change lives nor does it cost them so it's low risk to let things slide.

Anyway, I mostly wanted to come into this thread to share this song, which has been both immensely comforting and devastatingly impactful over the last few weeks. The depth of emotion in this song is extraordinary. "It feels like it's rained in my head for a hundred days". "I say I hate you when I don't, push you when you get too close". "I won't make excuses for the pain I've caused us both, Thank You for always standing by me even though sometimes bad things take the place where good things go".



Powerful. Merry Christmas everybody, look after yourselves.

Yes, good idea thanks, a card will be done.

 

[AlbionBro]

Dinner is a breeze fortunately.

Since leaving Asahi I'm now self employed selling old tat, sorry finest Antiques

You can come and do ours then!
I like antiques, some say I belong there, I wish I knew more about them, it seems a very big market place. All the best with that.

 

[pearl]

I've reached a stage where I enjoy all the build up to Christmas. I like putting up decorations, listening to Christmas music and going to parties and gatherings.

I struggle with Christmas Day itself though. This is the first time I've chosen to stay in Canada, for a few years, instead of visiting family in the UK. I'm going to really miss seeing my family but I'm now in my 40s, live on my own, and don't have kids. I kind of feel like the odd one out.

I do have really good friends here and I won't be spending Christmas Day on my own. It's just not how I thought my life would turn out.

40s!!!! You have your whole life ahead of you and I bet there will be some surprises in store. Good luck x

 

[Zeberdi]

I suspect it won’t be

Have a Merry Christmas @Zeberdi

Happy Christmas Bry.

 

[Professor Plum]

Your life need not be empty because you are on your own.
I live alone, but I'm not lonely. I have interests and fill my life with stuff I like doing ... nothing spectacular, just reading, arty stuff, listening to music, going for a walk about. All the best.

I guess some people can handle it better than others. I too love being on my own and can never get bored with a stack of books, a TV, and the internet all available. I don’t actually live on my own but my wife and I spend a lot of time in different rooms doing different things. We often joke that it’s the key to a happy marriage.

I’m lucky. I’m happy and in good health. It won’t always be like this so I’m trying to appreciate the stress-free nature of my current existence while it lasts. I’m sure there’ll be times in the future when I look back and wish things had always stayed like this.

I don’t care too much for Christmas but others enjoy it so fair enough. Off to the in-laws in Hampshire for Christmas Day and staying in a hotel near Southampton for a couple of days. I’ve bought a ticket for Southampton v West Ham on Boxing Day before returning the day after for the Brentford game. Home for a couple of days then off to Villa. New Years Day in London to visit family and it’s been suggested we see a game, possibly QPR-Watford. Then back for Albion-Arsenal. So a lot of football to look forward to.

 

[BadFish]

Being upside down with upside down hours means that if anyone needs/wants a chat at any time I am on the end of a DM during your night. Feel free to get in touch for a chat over the festive period (or any other time).

Much love, BF

 

[BadFish]

Mmmm a decent posting rep (which you have) clearly has its privileges, i have a suspicion that if Right Wing Ronnie, Cunning or Cawley Dingo had posted that the lynch mob would be baying for blood and retribution

A poorly judged post misreading the room certainly. But a decent posting rep that is well deserved and I think most would see thus post as the exception rather than the rule and manage to look past it.

It is also apologised for later which differs from the usual doubling from the posters you mention.

 

[Cotton Socks]

Yes, very much so, our neighbour lost their husband, just a few weeks ago. Not sure what she is doing this Christmas, we would like to invite her around, but fear it's way to early, she may just want to grieve. I know I don't like over the top sympathy initially, but can handle it better later. I think we are all very different.

Can you invite them in a way that doesn't feel like like you're inviting them because you feel sorry for them (I'm not saying you are doing that)? Sometimes just lying can do the trick. People don't want to feel a burden or that they're 'butting in'. Can you find a way to ask them to 'help out'? I'm only saying this because if I was in their shoes, I'd feel like the burden, unless someone needed me for something. Unless they wanted me to peel sprouts, then I'd tell them to f**k off.

 

[Cotton Socks]

There is no perfect solution, but it would be a lovely gesture to invite her over - it really would. Maybe best expressed in a card through the door, but just letting her know she's welcome would be a wonderful thing to do. It might be too soon and she might not want to be around other people, but knowing you're there for her would be lovely.

The idea of feeling lonely in a packed room really resonated with me, @PILTDOWN MAN . Unfortunately, I have had a lot of loss over the course of this year and I've really tried to pull back from outbursts online generally and this forum specifically! I've been trying to spin about a hundred plates recently and I've been losing the thread of them left, right and centre. One of those plates is full time employment and I've been getting a lot of criticism from my boss for my performance, all of which is fair, but it's hard because I do have a lot happening and there's only so much a boss can reasonably allow for and I am falling well below my expected work performance. But I'm prioritising my friends and my family and doing what I have to to get by. I'm not doing enough at work and I know I am not, but my work does not change lives nor does it cost them so it's low risk to let things slide.

Anyway, I mostly wanted to come into this thread to share this song, which has been both immensely comforting and devastatingly impactful over the last few weeks. The depth of emotion in this song is extraordinary. "It feels like it's rained in my head for a hundred days". "I say I hate you when I don't, push you when you get too close". "I won't make excuses for the pain I've caused us both, Thank You for always standing by me even though sometimes bad things take the place where good things go".



Powerful. Merry Christmas everybody, look after yourselves.

Wow, that's the first time I've heard that, it's very powerful.