[Humour] Best single line in Comedy

[The Clamp]

 

[Frutos]

The experts’ expert on Give Us A Clue, was Lionel Blair. Who can ever forget opposing team captain Una Stubbs sitting open-mouthed as he tried to pull off Twelve Angry Men in under two minutes!

But who can ever forget the tears of frustration in his eyes during the show's Italian tour at not being allowed the use of his mouth to finish off Two Gentlemen of Verona.

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

Don't know if the best comedy line ever but always liked Spike Milligan's inscription on his gravestone: " I told you I was feeling ill."

 

[Lever]

Don't know if the best comedy line ever but always liked Spike Milligan's inscription on his gravestone: " I told you I was feeling ill."

Great choice! I like his line 'if you don't have a plan then nothing can go wrong'!

 

[Badger]

"And we have some more here: walking on the cracks in the pavement, walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness and walking around with an offensive wife. In short, Savage, in the space of one month you’ve brought 117 ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges... against the same man"

"Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb"

"Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people forget that on the Titanic’s maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg."

 

[joydivisionovengloves]

Another geezer I know, his old man was French and his mum was French...he was a cu.."

 

[Weststander]

So many to select from this sketch, I adore this …. right down my comedy alley.

“Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!”.

 

[lawros left foot]

“I read a book once”.



“Green it was”.

 

[Robinjakarta]

"And we have some more here: walking on the cracks in the pavement, walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness and walking around with an offensive wife. In short, Savage, in the space of one month you’ve brought 117 ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges... against the same man"

Ah. Constable Savage.
'Do you get some kind of perverted gratification from going around stirring up trouble?'
'Yes, Sir.'

 

[seagull_special]

Thin Blue Line


‘Your cock-up, my arse!’

 

[RandyWanger]

That's what you get for leading on pedos you slut

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

Difficult, in fact an impossible call. So much great humour to choose from and probably worthy of a rebrand as 'The best 100 comedy one liners, in no particular order!'

TNBA
TTF

 

[TheCheekyBlinder]

They dug another tunnel, and put the dirt down there

 

[Lenny Rider]

Especially for an old git like me the range is huge, Pike, the Andre Previn sketch has more than one line in it worthy of a mention and Fletcher also had some great lines.

Couple of favourites, Vim Fuego in Bad News “Answer that, and stay fashionable”

Clinton Baptiste “I’m getting the word, Nonce”

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

Delivered by the late, great Peter Vaughan in Citizen Smith:

"You give these people freedom, and what do they do with it? Anything they bloody well like!"

 

[METALMICKY]

"Lucky we didn't say anything about the dirty knife,"

 

[The Clamp]

You got any funny shaped balloons?

If you think round’s funny..

 

[Jaxie]

“What are you going to play for us tonight Jackson?”
“Trumpet”
“No what tune?”
“Tune? ? This is jazz”

 

[Jaxie]

“Me, lager
Finchy, lager
Gareth, lager sometimes cider
So different drinks for different………………………………………….. needs

 

[Albion my Albion]

(fart noise)

I'd say you've had enough.

(Blazing Saddles)