Best rhyme in a song

[00snook]

Who's going to iron my pants.
Who's going to give me a 2nd chance.

Dr hook

Dr Hook Rule

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Tenacious D - 39

"She needs a dentist appointment quick.
i pay for it and she suck 'a' my dick"

poetry

 

[Peteinblack]

Many of Half Man Half Biscuit's brilliantly satirical lines are also excellent rhymes. but three of their best are:

Did you play in the Garden of Eden?
Were the goalkeeper’s gloves to you tossed?
‘Cos it seems to me you’re the reason
You’re the reason why Paradise Lost.

Well we’ve both seen your personalised reg plates
And it’s not the worst crime I agree
But we both know full well, that it really should spell
T-W-A-T-O-N-E.

And:

She stayed with me until, she moved to Notting Hill
She said it was the place she needs to be
Where the cocaine is fair trade, and frequently displayed
Is the Buena Vista Social Club CD

 

[Buzzer]

Carter were, as with the Smiths and Beautiful South just too darn clever for their own good.

 

[Buzzer]

It's alright to say things can only get betterr
You haven't lost your brand new sweater

 

[lawros left foot]

Dr Hook Rule

Dont give a dose to the one you love most

 

[WhingForPresident]

After that, I start jerking off
Up on a mountain, jerking off
Down by the river, jerking off
And that's when I have my epiphany...
You can't spend your whole life jerking off
And after that, I'm going back to the city

Amazing tune.

 

[raymondbriggs]

We cower in our shelters with our hands over our ears
Loyd-Webbers awful stuff runs for years and years and years and years
Till an earthquake hits the theater
as the operetta lingers
and the piano lid falls down
and breaks his ****ing fingers
it's a miracle.

 

[HAILSHAM SEAGULL]

Only one winner, the most gobbledy gook ever, but a great song

Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older, I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing, the calliope crashed to the ground
Some all-hot half-shot was headin' for the hot spot, snappin' his fingers, clappin' his hands
And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover's knot with a whatnot in her hand
And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not whispers, "Daddy's within earshot, save the buckshot, turn up the band"

And she was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight, but she'll make it alright

Some brimstone baritone anti-cyclone rolling stone preacher from the East
He says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner all alone, watchin' the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance

Yeah, he was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
He got down but he never got tight, but he's gonna make it tonight

Some silicone sister with her manager's mister told me I got what it takes
She said, "I'll turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky break"
And Go-Cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer, playin' backyard bombardier
Yes, and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent some dude with a calling card, he said, "Do what you like, but don't do it here"
Well, I jumped up, turned around, spit in the air, fell on the ground and asked him which was the way back home
He said, "Take a right at the light, keep goin' straight until night, and then, boy, you're on your own"
And now in Zanzibar, a shootin' star was ridin' in a side car, hummin' a lunar tune
Yes, and the avatar said, "Blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar, we're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon"
And some kidnapped handicap was complainin' that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night
Well, I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw a gap but figured he'd be all right

He was just blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
Oh, but Mama, that's where the fun is
I was blinded
I was blinded
I was blinded

Read more: Bruce Springsteen - Blinded By The Light Lyrics | MetroLyrics

 

[brakespear]

We cower in our shelters with our hands over our ears
Loyd-Webbers awful stuff runs for years and years and years and years
Till an earthquake hits the theater
as the operetta lingers
and the piano lid falls down
and breaks his ****ing fingers
it's a miracle.

I do like a grudge taken out lyrically (see also Bob Ezrin on the same album).

 

[the slow norris]

It's alright to say things can only get betterr
You haven't lost your brand new sweater

Pure new wool and perfect stitches, not the kind of jumper that makes you itches, oh no...

 

[Icy Gull]

Only one winner, the most gobbledy gook ever, but a great song

Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older, I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing, the calliope crashed to the ground
Some all-hot half-shot was headin' for the hot spot, snappin' his fingers, clappin' his hands
And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover's knot with a whatnot in her hand
And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not whispers, "Daddy's within earshot, save the buckshot, turn up the band"

And she was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight, but she'll make it alright

Some brimstone baritone anti-cyclone rolling stone preacher from the East
He says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner all alone, watchin' the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance

Yeah, he was blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
He got down but he never got tight, but he's gonna make it tonight

Some silicone sister with her manager's mister told me I got what it takes
She said, "I'll turn you on, sonny, to something strong if you play that song with the funky break"
And Go-Cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer, playin' backyard bombardier
Yes, and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent some dude with a calling card, he said, "Do what you like, but don't do it here"
Well, I jumped up, turned around, spit in the air, fell on the ground and asked him which was the way back home
He said, "Take a right at the light, keep goin' straight until night, and then, boy, you're on your own"
And now in Zanzibar, a shootin' star was ridin' in a side car, hummin' a lunar tune
Yes, and the avatar said, "Blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar, we're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon"
And some kidnapped handicap was complainin' that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night
Well, I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw a gap but figured he'd be all right

He was just blinded by the light
Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
Oh, but Mama, that's where the fun is
I was blinded
I was blinded
I was blinded

Read more: Bruce Springsteen - Blinded By The Light Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Songs like that had him touted as the new Dylan, never really materialised but lyrics like these make it understandable why he was.

 

[raymondbriggs]

I do like a grudge taken out lyrically (see also Bob Ezrin on the same album).

Ironic isn't it,Rog slags off Phantom of the Opera and then he comes up with Ca Ira !!!!
It aint no Les Mis is it?

Still going to enjoy Wembley on saturday though

 

[The Modfather]

Nice, but I'd have gone for Up The Junction myself....

I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from clapham
Out on a windy common
That night I ain't forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said you are a lady
Perhaps she said I may be
We moved into a basement
With thoughts of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly
We spent our time just kissing
The railway arms we're missing
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up

I got a job with stanley
He said I'd come in handy
And started me on monday
So I had a bath on sunday
I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said she'd seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her

I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better
And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
Late evenings by the fire
With little kicks inside her

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another

And now she's two years older
Her mother's with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling

Alone here in the kitchen
I feel there's something missing
I'd beg for some forgiveness
But begging's not my business
And she won't write a letter
Although I always tell her
And so it's my assumption
I'm really up the junction

 

[cloud]

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again

 

[brakespear]

Ironic isn't it,Rog slags off Phantom of the Opera and then he comes up with Ca Ira !!!!
It aint no Les Mis is it?

Still going to enjoy Wembley on saturday though

Enjoy it, wish I could be there

 

[The Modfather]

I could be the driver in an articulated lorry
I could be a poet, I wouldn't need to worry
I could be the teacher in a classroom full of scholars
I could be the sergeant in a squadron full of wallahs

Because I tried to play the fool in a six-piece band
First-night nerves every one-night stand
I should be glad to be so inclined
What a waste! What a waste! But the world don't mind

I could be a lawyer with stratagems and muses
I could be a doctor with poultices and bruises
I could be a writer with a growing reputation
I could be the ticket-man at Fulham Broadway station

Because I tried to play the fool in a six-piece band
First-night nerves every one-night stand
I should be glad to be so inclined
What a waste! What a waste! But the world don't mind

I could be the catalyst that sparks the revolution
I could be an inmate in a long-term institution
I could lead to wide extremes, I could do or die
I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch them gullify

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Contender for worst lyrics (taken from Life, by Des'ree)


I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around
Ooh, I get the shivers

I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staff room
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabokov

Don't Stand So Close to Me - The Police

Funny how nobody thinks about it too deeply: if you wrote lyrics like that these days, the media would be lining up with pitchforks.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

"Son, I'm 30
I only went with your mother 'cause she's dirty"

- Happy Mondays, 'Kinky Afro'

The very lyric that came straight to my mine as well.

None better.