Best Chat Up Lines You've Heard/Used

[sydney]

your mate reckons you'd love to watch me f*** her..........it's worked twice,with sensational results

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

"Hello hun, good news - you're going to get laid tonight!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm stronger than you."

 

[MikeySmall]

Hello my rose. Can I be the thorn in your bush?

 

[bathseagull]

A few years ago my mate and I were chatting to a couple of girls in a bar. My mate got on a bit better than I did and ended up exchanging numbers with one of them, just before we left. His last line to her as we walked out -

" I'm going to send you so much filth... "

They're getting married in September...

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

"I could sleep with any woman I wanted in this bar"

"Yeah right"

"No seriously - I'm a rapist"

 

[public school boy]

Man.. Excuse me love can i smell your Vagina?
Woman.. Certainly not!
Man.. Well it must be your friend's then

 

[Albalbion]

Heard my mate say this to a bird once.

'You must of fallen from heaven..... cos you look like youve landed on your face.'

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

"I could sleep with any woman I wanted in this bar"

"Yeah right"

"No seriously - I'm a rapist"

An old one but it still gets me...

I tried one of Jack Tweed's chat-up lines at the weekend...

Apparently asking, 'Are you a semi-retarded millionaire terminal cancer patient?' is neither cute nor funny.

 

[blue and white army]

"Alright darling? Where've you been all my life?" Works brilliantly on some rotters

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

"Alright darling? Where've you been all my life?" Works brilliantly on some rotters

Is your name Danny Dyer?

 

[blue and white army]

Is your name Danny Dyer?

No it isn't. Should I invest in a trilby hat to improve chances?

 

[essbee]

I'm more than a little worried about some of the people on this board.

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

No it isn't. Should I invest in a trilby hat to improve chances?

I tell you what mate, you certainly should! Works a treat.

 

[PHCgull]

'Do you fancy spending the weekend on my boat?'

That is MINT.

 

[zeemeeuw]

Hello.

 

[John Bumlick]

"red wine makes me really horny."

it worked on me but then i'm a cheap slut.

 

[Spun Cuppa]

"Alright darling? Where've you been all my life?" Works brilliantly on some rotters

I used that once and she replied, 'I wasn't born through half of it granddad!...'

 

[Malcolm Millichip]

I find poetry recited to a woman works everytime.

This little ditty has never failed to get me a shag.................

'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I`ve got a knife,
So get in the van.'

 

[NMH]

"While other guys work on good lines, I'm going to pretend I'm good at chatting-up and just ask your name"

 

[NMH]

[yt]pJwIxh_TWIA[/yt]