Bell Cheeses at work

[Lower West Stander]

Just received on work email:

Dear Colleagues

Please can we request that you refrain from pouring coffee beans/filtered coffee from personal devices down the sink as this is causing blockages within the pipes.

All coffee waste should be disposed of within the general waste bins provided.

Many thanks for your co-opperation.

Facilities

They can't even spell co-operation.....

 

[Barham's tash]

Just received on work email:

Dear Colleagues

Please can we request that you refrain from pouring coffee beans/filtered coffee from personal devices down the sink as this is causing blockages within the pipes.

All coffee waste should be disposed of within the general waste bins provided.

Many thanks for your co-opperation.

Facilities

They can't even spell co-operation.....

Not sure that can be considered bell cheesery where the only faux pas is not hitting spell check before it’s sent.

Coffee grinds added to fat in drains are one of the primary causes of fat bergs and drainage blockages...

More likely the bell cheeses are the lazy f**kers who can’t be bothered to clear up after themselves properly.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[The Clamp]

Just received on work email:

Dear Colleagues

Please can we request that you refrain from pouring coffee beans/filtered coffee from personal devices down the sink as this is causing blockages within the pipes.

All coffee waste should be disposed of within the general waste bins provided.

Many thanks for your co-opperation.

Facilities

They can't even spell co-operation.....

Spelling aside, perfectly reasonable request.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Not sure that can be considered bell cheesery where the only faux pas is not hitting spell check before it’s sent.

Coffee grinds added to fat in drains are one of the primary causes of fat bergs and drainage blockages...

More likely the bell cheeses are the lazy f**kers who can’t be bothered to clear up after themselves properly.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Spelling aside, perfectly reasonable request.

Indeed. The bell-cheese in this instance are the people with their own 'personal coffee devices' at work in the first place. That alone is wankery, before we even move on to how they dispose of their grounds.

 

[Easy 10]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

 

[TSB]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

Surely that would only validate its existence?
Could pop his severed head in there, I suppose.

 

[8049]

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all..

Fill it with single use plastic bags, some diesel and the remains of a clubbed seal.

 

[Hampden Park]

pour it down his red trousers then slap him with his sandals until he cries like a baby

 

[happypig]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

Bleach, with a note on it saying "I put bleach in to kill the smell of shit"

Edit: Bleach is about 20p a bottle in Asda so not only will it **** up the compost, it's a cheapskate's paradise.

 

[sydney]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

i'm a great fan of composting .....red trousers and sandals , get tae fook ye wierdo...!! perhaps you should suggest he takes the contents of the said bin home , each evening , in his mexican agave fabric shoulder bag , upon his unicycle.

 

[Barham's tash]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

Leave it under his desk on a Friday night when perhaps the weather forecast is for >30 degrees temps. Oh look this weekend would be perfect.

Better yet do you have personal lockers? Could you find a way to put it in his over the weekend instead?


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[Johnnyboy]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

Buy 1/2 pint white maggots from a tackle shop on a Friday. Make a hole in the compost, pour in maggots, cover maggots. Monday morning about 1000 flies in office!

 

[Badger]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

We have a compost bin in our kitchen. It gets emptied out every day, so I've never noticed much of a smell coming from it. The bell-cheesery in your case seems to be the hipster being too much of a lazy arse to empty the bin each day.

I'd suggest securing it to his desk. Then see how often it gets emptied

 

[Blatter]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

Have you tried taking a dump in said compost bin. It'll all add to the richness................

 

[Easy 10]

All good suggestions. I shall take to my veranda this evening and ponder, whilst sinisterly twiddling my moustache.

 

[A1X]

Perhaps you could Super Glue the lid shut? Would prevent the smell being released again plus encourage him to move it on.

 

[pearl]

I’m sorry to announce, we appear to have employed a hipster.

He has a beard (natch). He often wears red trousers to work (and we’re talking bright postbox-red here), braces to hold them up, and sandals, which he often takes off at his desk to go completely barefoot. Worst of all - I’m not kidding - he has introduced a compost bin to the office kitchen. There’s a sign on the side of it saying “Compo’s compost welcomes tea bags, fruit peel, veg, salad, coffee granules, loo rolls”. On the lid of the bin is another sign saying “Dear Cleaners, no need to do anything with this, we will empty it out once a week ourselves! Compo”.

As the organic detritus builds up through the week, the smell when someone opens the lid and puts something in is almost indescribable. When the lid is then dropped down, a warm, pungent waft is released into the kitchen and hangs in the air like a cloying fug that catches the back of the throat. The odour is something akin to how it would smell if you doused the rotting head of a dead penguin in worcester sauce, rolled it in piss, and left it in a breadbin for a month.

I’m trying to think of a way to sabotage it so we can get rid once and for all. Next time I stay late, I might just plant a big old douglas in it.

 

[Butch Willykins]

Since when has Social Media been referred to as SoMe?

Unfortunately I get copied in to a lot of email conversations between various marketing teams in my organisation (even though I DON'T work in marketing). I've noticed recently they are writing SoMe instead of social media. It started off just one or two of them, now they are all sodding at it.

**** off and die you absolute marketing ***** trumpets. Its actually harder to type SoMe then Social Media anyway. W*****s.

 

[TSB]

Since when has Social Media been referred to as SoMe?

Unfortunately I get copied in to a lot of email conversations between various marketing teams in my organisation (even though I DON'T work in marketing). I've noticed recently they are writing SoMe instead of social media. It started off just one or two of them, now they are all sodding at it.

**** off and die you absolute marketing ***** trumpets. Its actually harder to type SoMe then Social Media anyway. W*****s.

I've never liked the term 'social media' as, in essence, it's the exact opposite. Complete misnomer. Should therefore be called Antisocial media.
That being said, anyone who uses 'SoMe' is by definition a ****nugget.

 

[The Clamp]

You should not have compost bins indoors. Certainly not in a kitchen and certainly not in a work kitchen. Get it removed under HASAW laws. Compost can carry some very serious dIseases. No way should it be there.